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#1727 +(1665)- [X]

<Fly_kEaT> ok so what time now in russia?
<amsea_> 17:06
<Fly_kEaT> am or pm?

#2065 +(1079)- [X]

<matts> hal check your privates
<matts> err
<matts> messages

#2470 +(1752)- [X]

<Fade_> heh, truent, you have a big fat dick up my ass 
<Fade_> err your ass

#7598 +(94)- [X]

<Felix1> lud, as a 'gag' somebody set our air con on 44 degrees
<Felix1> brother is on the critical list, We lost Mum on the operating table, Dad never regained consiousness and our dogs corneas melted down her face

#8759 +(337)- [X]

<jamesm> is it worth going to see Moulin Rouge?
<Tippytoes> dont be a fag
<MMouse> i saw it twice. it was excellent
<Tippytoes> i rest my case.

#8834 +(66)- [X]

mike_afe > I just watched Wild Wild West. What a turkey. I chose it over The Water Boy and The Thin Red Line. What a dick. This reminds me of the time that Moretom came back from the shop with an Atari ST under his arm...

#12340 +(239)- [X]

<ScottY> I think you're number 65344 that asks me to beam them up... please stop that, it's annoying!'
<Rain> that's what you get for taking the nick scotty

#13618 +(103)- [X]

<spinner2019> i've got an error msg no such file 'file.mp3'
<Mutt-Away> Spinner: That's because the tidal winds in Africa are continental.

#14162 +(41)- [X]

<Doser> put a little red bull in a saucer for the FUCKING 12 yr old divorcees outside

#14221 +(350)- [X]

<Sierro> I took her out for lunch...
<Sierro> to McDonalds
<Sierro> I feel like a 15 year old
<phantom> hehe, where ya gonna get one at 4am?

#20220 +(226)- [X]

<_ohm> sara, as a girl i have to ask you a serious question
<_ohm> girl/woman
<_ohm> do you know when a guy is producing massive amounts of ass sweat

#27444 +(259)- [X]

<Aximili> WHAT THE DAMN HELL WAS THAT AHHHHHH
<Nicklon> ·Aximili· => puberty

#30514 +(320)- [X]

<Phyresis> I keep getting linked to websites I've seen months ago, for something completely differnet
<Phyresis> it's like it's some sort of web, or a network
<ZS> is it called "the internet"?

#34287 +(254)- [X]

<phyre> my room is hot...
<phyre> I'm sweating like R. Kelly at a girl scout meeting

#34534 +(791)- [X]

<Zer0-kewl> and in network properties i'm static on 192.168.1.30
<Prem0> thats why
<Prem0> ass
<Prem0> your ip is too high
<Prem0> cant go above 255
<Zer0-kewl> too high?  wtf?
<Prem0> your at 300
<Zer0-kewl> Thirty
<Prem0> if U wanted 30 it should be 192.168.1.030
<Killeroy> wtf?
<Killeroy> lemme quote that on bash.org :)
<Prem0> remember it adds 0's to the end
<Prem0> lol
<Zer0-kewl> since when?
<Prem0> since forever
<Prem0> thats tcp/ip brother
<Zer0-kewl> if it thought my IP was 300...i doubt i woudl be talking to you hear.
<Prem0> change it to .030 and then try it
<Killeroy> prem0, don't make it worse for you...

#34992 +(49)- [X]

*** weedsmokingpylon has quit IRC (Killed (stats.dal.net (User has been banned from DALnet ([exp/os] Due to abuse from this host, you are no longer welcome on DALnet. See http://kline.dal.net/exploits/akills.htm#os for more information.) [AKILL ID:1032824129K-e])))
<ChRiS^HoWiE^GoNe> lol
*** ChRiS^HoWiE^GoNe is now known as ChRiS^HoWiE
<BurningDog> dalnet 1 , weed 0

#37334 +(255)- [X]

<FairchildDrumr> Damn the internet.
<FairchildDrumr> It gives you easy access to lots of great women that are not easilly accesable.

#40419 +(422)- [X]

<bell-chan> i got the little mermaid on dvd
<bell-chan> dude, if you pause it just right when she just gets her legs
<bell-chan> BOOM
<bell-chan> you see nothing
<bell-chan> the only sad thing about that is i tried

#40716 +(28)- [X]

<Lina> Women are like cars.. if you want optimal performance, you have to warm them up. :P

#41196 +(116)- [X]

* @Boffbowsh is in shit. i was recreating the backup for the 166, and omitted my dad's accounts
<@Boffbowsh> 5 years of stuff
<@Boffbowsh> gone
<@Cheez> thats an "oh fuck" moment methinks
<@Cheez> tell him he should keep up to date backups
<@Boffbowsh> That WAS the backup
<@Cheez> ahh

#43475 +(187)- [X]

<jamao> cat shit on floor today
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> you find out which one? lol
<jamao> twice, either that or each one went once
<jamao> nope
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> sniff your cats bungholes, i'm sure you'll find out quick lol
<jamao> i tried that already
<jamao> 8|
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> ....
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> i was joking, but ok haha

#47356 +(1445)- [X]

<BradJ*hnson> OMG, I lost my mouse!
<Dilly4> Your cursor, or your entire mouse?
<BradJ*hnson> Um, both.  Isn't the cursor attached to the bottom of the mouse?
<Dilly4> What?  Do you run your mouse around on the screen?
<BradJ*hnson> No, on the mouse pad...oh, I see.  The cursor is the arrow, right?
<Dilly4> New to computers, eh?
<BradJ*hnson> You wouldn't believe it, but I'm actually really good with computers
Dilly4 doesn't believe it.
<BradJ*hnson> How did you do that?  I got my mouse back!
<Dilly4> it typed "/me doesn't believe it"
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wants to make money with computers"
Dilly4 suggests that the best way for you to make money is to sell yours.
<BradJ*hnson> Fucker.
GanGreen thinks he'll submit this lameness to Bash.
Dilly4 nods in agreement.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wonders if this is working right on your end.  What is Bash?"
<Dilly4> GanG, make sure you blank out his name so his family (and future customers) don't see what a lamer he is.
<GanGreen> NP.  How about if I make it "BradJ*hnson"?
Dilly4 laughs his head off.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me goes "Just so long as no one recognizes it...I DO sounds kinda stupid.  I'm smrat tho"
Dilly4 can't control his fits of laughter
<BradJ*hnson> smart.  you all suck hard.

#48298 +(249)- [X]

<Millenia>  Oh. And for everyone who insisted "Dungeons and Dragons" was the worst movie ever?
<Mareg>  We were right?
<Millenia>  You are right. You are SO right. I wanted to gouge out my own eyes.

#48398 +(108)- [X]

<Ljung> does IRC take scripts?
<Ljung> <SCRIPT language="JavaScript">
<Ljung> damn

#49612 +(357)- [X]

< tom> My sister is back... and instead of spending quality time with her family... she's playing Lunar 2!
< ninjamike> and you're on IRC

#50235 +(306)- [X]

<Elpacoloco> Seriously! Your voice is...uhm....
<Elpacoloco> Words fail me, but I'd pay $3.99 a minute for it.
<TheTourist|away> ELp, refering to phone sex is NOT romantic.

#51239 +(394)- [X]

<Jahidi> love is just when two people decide to stalk each other.

#54296 +(398)- [X]

<sora> I don't think goths are evil and satanic, I think they're pitiful and irritating. Like street mimes, only not as much fun to set on fire with kerosene.

#55020 +(222)- [X]

<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching.

#72231 +(669)- [X]

<Dayv> It's amazing how many interesting games come out of Germany that are actually written for adults with IQs above the subnormal range.
<DJTodd> How else are we supposed to train the master race?
<DJTodd> Uh... You didn't hear that.
<DJTodd> I know nothing! NOTHING!

#74063 +(5)- [X]

<xohs-busy> WE WILL TRADE OUR SONS
-Ragga- tr*de is a dirty werd here, leech and b leeched
...
<xohs-busy> doc-brown, heh, that's an exageration
-Ragga- r*tio is a dirty werd here, leech and b leeched

#75836 +(102)- [X]

(WAREZmunkeY) omg some1 has pushed a condom through our letterbox
(datafreak) lol
(datafreak) used? :P
(WAREZmunkeY) i dunno
(WAREZmunkeY) i havent been to look that close at it
(Noodle[AFK]) well presumably it's unpackaged
(WAREZmunkeY) it is
(james) lmao

#96325 +(199)- [X]

<Enygma> ?Ú?וs?Ú
<Enygma> I love japanese text without the support for it. I feel like Im reading a bunch of cheat codes.

#105677 +(100)- [X]

<+NoNameAndrew> yeah right, you were rubbing the one eye'd snake to him like I am
<+NoNameAndrew> her*

#108711 +(888)- [X]

+(norad) if you rearrange the letters in mother in law, you get woman hitler :/

#141226 +(193)- [X]

<Elise> hey do u have the compu wholesale purchase order at all?
<logik> ?
<logik> ummm
<Elise> so?
<logik> why do u need it
<Elise> cause im attaching the invoice and entering it in myob then i need to do the billing ....
<Elise> why do u ask?
<Elise> have u eaten it or something?
<Elise> ;)
<logik> nah you see
<logik> the thing is
<logik> there was no toilet paper around

#143758 +(562)- [X]

<heroofhyr> Japan, China and South Korea team up to plan an operating system to rival Microsoft Windows.
<heroofhyr> man i can't wait to try Rindows

#164514 +(1046)- [X]

<dnc> yesterday ivana had some friends over, and they were flicking through the tv channels, and accidentally hit the input selector - and got the pc tv out input... and spent like 30 minutes watching me play halo thinking it was a tv show
<dnc> glad i wasnt looking at hardcore pr0n

#202523 +(36)- [X]

<kim> heh... i just got on my gma's aol account... she has an email from her friend w/ the subject of: 7 great positions in bed
<Kirill> omg
<Kirill> are you serious kim?
<Kirill> hahahahha wtf

#213397 +(743)- [X]

<Gizmog> I ever tell you guys about my trip to the beach?
<Gizmog> Long story short: I scored.
<Inferior_Minion> A touchdown????
<Gizmog> Kinda. :P
<Gizmog> She took off her bikini
<Gizmog> And I touched her on down.
<Inferior_Minion> 2 hand touch or full contact
<Inferior_Minion> ??
<Gizmog> Let me put it this way:
<Gizmog> I sacked her
<Gizmog> And pretty soon, she was behind the line of scrimmage
<Inferior_Minion> Did she ask for her quarter back?

#330261 +(19128)- [X]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

#332611 +(334)- [X]

<DrBoB> sex is so over-rated...
<DrBoB> and i dought it's gonna be much better with someone from the opposite sex.

#333161 +(995)- [X]

<+lisa`> well, sometimes, when the moon is right i like to print out the source code to the Linux kernel, scatter them on the floor, lube myself up and roll around in the printed code.

#450231 +(655)- [X]

<ben in da hood> How do i turn on my mic?
<mike6789> Well I tickle mine, that turns mine on ;-)
...
<ben in da hood> It still isnt on.
<lop12>lmfao

#482170 +(289)- [X]

DragonAtma: malware = spyware that hurt your computer
yayz muffin: ah
DragonAtma: so if you open ie and the homepage was changed to goatse.cx, the file that did it is probably malware
yayz muffin: probably was crashing my browser too
yayz muffin: >_<
DragonAtma: same think if you realize there are bookmarks to pages like "gay anal fisting", "horse rape", and "republican national convention" ;)

#524062 +(2629)- [X]

3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school?
3:GHB> Today is Saturday
3:pixelsoft> It's Friday
GHB left arena

#635060 +(1941)- [X]

<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes?
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE

#680513 +(1383)- [X]

<JohnFlux> There are two kinds of people: 1) those who start arrays with one and 1) those who start them with zero.

#731134 +(236)- [X]

<+Acksaw> how do you get 100 babies in a bucket?
<+crank> 100?
<+Acksaw> with a blender.
<+crank> auch
<+Acksaw> how do you get them back out?
<+crank> i dunno
<+Acksaw> with doritos

#818068 +(704)- [X]

<Flaim> ok, why the fuck is the disk in a VIRTUAL MACHINE not spinning up?

0.1689 21047 quotes approved; 279 quotes pending
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