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#47 +(2441)- [X]

* EtherMan slashes MadHatter with the jagged edge of a PS2 polygon

#1231 +(477)- [X]

*** Ryan_ sets mode: +b *!*@*.homosexual.opers
<vanity> wow
<vanity> you just banned 85% of the channel

#1541 +(472)- [X]

<Delusion> I'm reminded of someone I worked with who was about 35 and who dyed a streak of grey in his hair to look 'distinguished'.
<Delusion> Instead, he looked 'gay'.

#3280 +(214)- [X]

<Evasion> they say astroglide doesn't get sticky for hours, thats bs, it gets sticky in 5-10 minutes
<aNuBiS-> Evasion: you arent supposed to mix it with feces

#3352 +(50)- [X]

<drgonzo> i'd rather cut off my own penis than run linux
<drgonzo> running linux screams I fuck ugly chicks

#3600 +(283)- [X]

<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy

#3905 +(269)- [X]

<Rbrt> i have decided to file for a divorce
<nharris> Rbrt.. wise move
<Rbrt> yepp neil
<closedown> did you just have a kid?
<Rbrt> yes i did
<nharris> my brother's inlaws are DICKS.. except his bro in law..he's cool
<Rbrt> the kid doesnt change the fact that she's a psycho
<closedown> ah
<closedown> my gf's trying to hint at marriage
<closedown> that would surely cut into my irc time

#4880 +(308)- [X]

<l0wkey> do any of you wonder why pubic hair doesnt get as long as normal hair

#5586 +(424)- [X]

| Lavalamp is (~lava@www.childrenpalace.edu.vn])
<@madog> vietnam sucks anyway
<Lavalamp> vn = vietnam?
<Lavalamp> maybe that's why it's so lagged
<@madog> *sigh*
<@Guilty> I figured Vietnam would have a wonderful network of fiber since all the holes were already dug

#6208 +(535)- [X]

<skrike:#916> Ill prolly just go into work next week and kill everyone
<pozer:#916> skrike: I do that all the time.
<pozer:#916> We're hiring, by the way!

#6438 +(223)- [X]

<shev> Efnet needs to get mIRC to include an air raid siren wav file, and play it when there's a server hack

#6704 +(652)- [X]

<Expresso> I don't play alot of first persons hooters

#11168 +(208)- [X]

<ScumDog> I'm gonna descend into the popup hell of astalavista.com
<ScumDog> wish me luck
<R0SC0E> <scum's mom> what's this bang bus all about

#14411 +(142)- [X]

<PrincessLeia2> crow, i think you would be a happier person if you had a fireplace... i feel so much better after we burn junkmail
<Titu§ Crow> i would much rather burn junkppl

#17295 +(48)- [X]

<Claus> I was a female black woman in a past life according to this site

#17984 +(254)- [X]

<RuTaLiA> i *know* im a receptionist, but it would make my job a lot easier if ppl wouldnt call up here

#22757 +(311)- [X]

<[zc]Kinslayer> omfg
<[zc]Kinslayer> it's days like this i hate my fucking job
<[zc]FuLLcLiP|work|> why whats up
<[zc]Kinslayer> argh this customer cannot find her address bar

#24624 +(158)- [X]

«%Filash» Are there any ways I can access shit like mp3s on my windows drive through linux?
«+rawr|w3rk» no, linux converts them into .oggs because lunix is for communists

#24966 +(32)- [X]

<Current> Hey, in San Francisco, you don't leave dogs with tags unattended in Chinatown, because it just marks them as edible.

#32784 +(378)- [X]

<cheese^> a virus that reboots your computer all the time seems kinda pointless
<@BenKenobi> •cheese• i dunno.. microsoft makes millions selling it every day

#32857 +(563)- [X]

<NiffTuRNaL> its ok BenZor
<NiffTuRNaL> windows isnt real
<NiffTuRNaL> its just a fairytale linux users use to scare their kids

#34163 +(45)- [X]

<Mdk>Incest...a totally new meaning for "fun for the whole family"

#34267 +(203)- [X]

<niko> whenever I see a korean media company or game company it's like
<niko> "see you don't need japan!"
<niko> "you can use us! and we work cheaper!"

#35913 +(22)- [X]

<eyesore> Now Link looks like a child molesters poster child
<Crimson_Dynamo> The new game will sell well if its target demographic is catholic preists
<eyesore> lol
<eyesore> ZING!

#36444 +(1474)- [X]

<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"

#43000 +(377)- [X]

<Avalanche> !seen bud
[@bud] Avalanche, I'm right here. Quit wasting my time!
<Avalanche> !seen vagina
[Respecter] lol
[@bud] Avalanche, I don't remember seeing vagina.
<Avalanche> why does that not surprise me

#44099 +(363)- [X]

* PamelaPeaks wishes she could donate sperm for $50
<Lowbrow> You can fly down and help me donate, Pam
<Lowbrow> You can even have the $50 :|
* PamelaPeaks ponders
<Lowbrow> If you stay long enough you can earn enough to fly back

#46640 +(95)- [X]

<Udeth> i fucking HATE counterstrike-players
<Udeth> i hope they all die.
<Udeth> irl

#49278 +(144)- [X]

<ctrlbreak> i went to Coles to get cigarettes
<ctrlbreak> but forgot what i went there for
<ctrlbreak> and came home with cordial and milk
<ctrlbreak> instead
<ctrlbreak> i feel ripped off

#50109 +(371)- [X]

<Boffbowsh> Well, i'll see if my parents would mind taking me both ways
<Boffbowsh> ...
<Boffbowsh> That sounds so wrong

#53590 +(344)- [X]

<JujubeZ> what,?
<rTenshi> using a .357 magnum to kill cockroaches!
<JujubeZ> a .357? wTF? These are roaches, not deer you moron
<rTenshi> tell me about it, its gonna take an assload of time to clean up, it just went.... "PSSHHHTTTQQQTT!" Hahahahhahaha

#72262 +(283)- [X]

<lildaemon> every girl i meet and talk to ..so far ..(about mental
            disabilities).. like personality ones
<lildaemon> they all seem to have one
<lildaemon> my brief analysis concludes that all girls have issues because of me
<lildaemon> men*

#75173 +(465)- [X]

*** Parts: Moses

#81908 +(57)- [X]

<Henk> oh, what program did you use for "photoshop barnaby"?
<Henk> is it adobe photoshop?

#87064 +(296)- [X]

Brandon2W: i had a dream that i was talking to someone, but she had a little AIM window next to her head, and i just read what she said there and typed back to her what i would have said
Brandon2W: i need therapy

#105209 +(375)- [X]

<omega> it was funny
<omega> we had this argument ('ve been getting into a lot of these latley, about the us)
<omega> and as soon as i brought in the facts
<omega> like
<omega> that the patriot missile system is the same as it was in desert storm, minus a few tweaks like radar upgrades
<omega> and how the US put saddam in power in the first place
<omega> gave him weapons
<omega> and shit
<omega> and how the US put whats his face in power in panama, and then had to later go in and get him
<omega> and the whole arming and training bin laden
<omega> he decided the only way he could counter it
<omega> was by saying that since the USD is worth 30 cents more than canada's therefore canada sucks, and the US is smart
<omega> and then he stopped talking

#105368 +(167)- [X]

<imagine> oh god
<imagine> im a loser
<imagine> someone was messaging me on aim
<imagine> and i sent something back, but they signed off
<imagine> then i noticed a mistake in my typing
<imagine> and i corrected it
<imagine> even though they had signed off
<imagine> :(

#107314 +(193)- [X]

<+Jasper> SourceX, its because of people like you that they put up signs that say "Please don't touch the animals" in zoos
<+Jasper> -P
<@SourceX> i wouildnt do it with other ppl around anyways
<@SourceX> the signs are pointless

#143577 +(400)- [X]

<Zorah> You're like a merry go round.. everyones had a ride.
<Exodus> naw
<Exodus> just the ones who are taller than 5'

#194678 +(1055)- [X]

<Lafarga> bada: I'm throwing peanuts at your head at this moment.
<bada> funny, I dont feel them
<Lafarga> bada: That's because you're thousands of miles away, across the internet, so my peanuts are bouncing off my monitor instead.

#457853 +(585)- [X]

* Nico (Nico@host81-154-181-36.range81-154.btcentralplus.com) has joined #megatokyo
<Nico> You know those oh so hilarious Bash quotes where someone's something is on fire, and they run on to IRC to tell everyone. I just decided to put the fire out before coming on to tell my friends. Let this be a lesson to those whose homes burnt down in the space of an irc convo.

#494970 +(71)- [X]

<ziz> i'm reading this article about the new intel centrino pentium M processor
<ziz> apparently they had a lot of failures early in the manufacturing process
<ziz> but now they're happy with it
<ziz> and some embedded network appliance makers have begun using them in their webservers
<ziz> so the name of this thing is the "Dothan"
<ziz> and i keep thinking "...what, so many Dothans died to bring me this information?"

#633735 +(2587)- [X]

<Chcherrycola>Oh shit I'm fucked
<Chcherrycola>I hid my weed in my PSP carrying case. So I get up to go get some and I can't find it anywhere, then I realise my little brother must have taken it with him on the plane to Florida with my family... O_O

#635032 +(1963)- [X]

ZA|Drinking|: I remember in high school, during somebody made an off hand remark about wondering why they sacrificed virgins
ZA|Drinking|: And I was all like, they sure as hell ain't going to give up the ones that put out
ZA|Drinking|: And then I got detention

#648305 +(1810)- [X]

MorningQueen: Why are you against abortion?
MassHypnosisJoe: I'm just against women making choices

#655706 +(1136)- [X]

<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?

#681057 +(371)- [X]

Sholiz: i'm lucky to get laid once a quarter
Sholiz: it's like big corporations profit reports
Sholiz: comes 4 times a year and usually it's a let-down

#745228 +(1311)- [X]

<Foamy> im a little teapot
<Foamy> short and stout
<Foamy> here is my handle
* Trueborn has kicked Foamy from #totse (get the fuck out)

#881405 +(553)- [X]

xou: What's MMA?
syL: Mixed martial arts...basically grown men dryhumping in missonary position

#915822 +(596)- [X]

<derp>I'm pretty sure bash moderators just ctrl-f every quote for "penis, sex, masturbate, bash, nigger," and anything that doesn't generate a hit is rejected. They probably have an automated script, in fact.

0.1887 21096 quotes approved; 1873 quotes pending
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