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#484 +(1017)- [X]

"A lot of people wonder how you know you're in love. Just ask yourself this
one question: "Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?"
   - Ronnie Shakes

#717 +(79)- [X]

<Acero> dude wild are you some kind of flagrant gay

#1380 +(556)- [X]

[orion] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[orion] i think my maid was fondeling me
[orion] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that outta me, but i couldn't move"
[orion] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[orion] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[orion] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs

#3327 +(454)- [X]

<Pluton> what extension is an Adobe eBook?
<feerit> .gay

#9246 +(29)- [X]

<BiG_GuY> did u know mother fucker what im gonna to do
*** BiG_GuY Quit (Quit: Leaving)

#9290 +(510)- [X]

<pork> gudrow: what about when you're driving and eating a sloppy meat pie and you sneeze really hard into the pie and squeeze it and the meat comes out and scalds your legs and you're doing 120 and can't do anything about it trying to wipe snot from your steering wheel and scalding hot pie
<pork> cause i did that once and it sucked

#11724 +(1197)- [X]

<Zardoz> cool. calculated pi to 18 decimal places.
<Trucci> know what would have been cooler?

#14622 +(518)- [X]

<JessiA> Listed as a previous job on a resume:  Domestic Goddess      <-  Me
<Wilik> so you were a house wife?
<JessiA> No
<JessiA> But I take care of my house a lot
<Wilik> so you were a house wife minus the wife part
<JessiA> basically
<Courtland> lol
<Courtland> so you are a house?
<Wilik> I guess that makes you a house

#14747 +(145)- [X]

* lastgrrl silently chuckles very loud

#16750 +(281)- [X]

<ExDthGONE> What I really want to see is stuff like "Heart Surgery For Dummies" and "What's With All Those Silly Dials Anyway?: A Cliff Notes Piloting Crash Course"

#16814 +(42)- [X]

<Freakazoid> its like putting hotdog skins over dog turds

#16858 +(618)- [X]

<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo

#16910 +(420)- [X]

<@Tilt> this is the funniest thing i have ever read in a sources TODO list
<@Tilt> o Learn C

#20058 +(120)- [X]

<Atom> im racist against leprachans
<Prozzy> Yah, that's why you can never pick up Leprachans at a bar. "So honey, wanna go on back to my place?" "BITCH AINT GIVING UP MY LUCKY CHARMS THAT EASY!"
<Atom> i bet people in ireland call genital warts "lucky charms"

#21455 +(185)- [X]

<Chikster> Oh wow ur little comments can go fuck a goat.
<Chikster> LoL
<Chikster> now that i read what i said i see where u got that.
<BadCaleb> i'd pay to see that.. i can't explain why, though
<nyisles> text on a computer screen can't exactly have sex with a goat...
<Chikster> well..true
<Chikster> but someday
<BadCaleb> in  aperfect world.. words will roam around, fucking all sorts of animals
<BadCaleb> but not mine..

#22152 +(351)- [X]

<skold> 'the wilder funeral home - let your loved ones have a wilder funeral' ;)
<liss> i dont think those places have mottos
<liss> it isnt mcdonalds
<skold> 'did somebody say embalming?'

#22905 +(455)- [X]

<Blixt> I wonder if the Korean army uses starcraft tactics
<Taerkar> extending the creep and sending hordes of zergs at their enemies?
<Taerkar> "You! Mine those crystals. You two, into the gas factory."

#24084 +(136)- [X]

<Teratogen> 1) cubic zirconium ring, 2) marriage will take place at the Justice of the Peace (janitor can be witness)
<Teratogen> 3) reception at McDonald's, 4) honeymoon at my apartment
<Teratogen> if she doesn't like that, screw her.

#31109 +(46)- [X]

<Epsilon> You know you play too much FF7 when you play any of it at all.

#32137 +(588)- [X]

<magnafi> portuguese is very dificulty to speak
<magnafi> its like chinese or japanese..
<magnafi> very dificulty
<litigator> kind of like english
<magnafi> english is too much easy to speak

#33132 +(880)- [X]

<EvilJoven> PDF is suck
<EvilJoven> everyone should make their manuals using HTML
<hikari-chan> Why do people in insist on using verbs as adjectives?
<tack> because is fun
<ketsugi> cos that's so impress
<EvilJoven> because everythings been done before
<EvilJoven> our generation has nothing to conquer, everythings been explored, we're basically just sitting here now kinda hanging out until the generation above us dies and we can take over
<EvilJoven> so screw it, lets play nintendo and butcher the english language

#34058 +(2419)- [X]

<Nydus> hey whatsup
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> ok...
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> dude whats wrong with you
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> i just wanna talk
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> you know, a rumor is going around that you are...
<Zoom> GAY
<Zoom> CRAP

#35939 +(134)- [X]

<Bubbs-> arg, too... much, garlic bread... breast, stinks
<Bubbs-> er...breath

#38618 +(295)- [X]

Quit: FliPmodE`!r43w_8@AC9934E0.ipt.aol.com  Kill by OperServ (You are banned from this network: Harassing opers on this network is not allowed. If you feel this akill is in error, GO FUCK YOURSELF AND DIE BITCH (ID: =ZYJgAzlVFwPzgQ<))

#41884 +(265)- [X]

<Wayne-aw> 99.9% of the time, the problem lies between the keyboard and the chair.

#46004 +(178)- [X]

<precid> hardcore doggystyle on tv
<precid> brb
<antiuser> o_O
<precid> wow those nips are like an inch long
<antiuser> spare us from your one handed typing mate

#46643 +(114)- [X]

<Mazlem> was it on a gravestone?
<cranky> I've always avoided sex after funerals
<l0g1c> nah, it was in her room.
<cranky> generally the bodies are too cold by then
<TxcPoison> thats what microwaves are for
<l0g1c> hah, beat me to it.
<TxcPoison> wow
<l0g1c> just warm the important part up.

#46790 +(696)- [X]

<Kio> Blizz.
<Kio> I submitted the Titanic quote to bash.
<blizz_away> Er.
<blizz_away> Kio.
<blizz_away> The titanic quote is from bash.

#47530 +(235)- [X]

IVIasterFunk: biacksfourteen
Biax14: iviasterflunk
IVIasterFunk: funk*
IVIasterFunk: bastard
Biax14: D'oh
Biax14: My mistake ;
IVIasterFunk: my ass
Biax14: is smeely
IVIasterFunk: the l is nowhere near the l key
IVIasterFunk: u*
IVIasterFunk: fuck

#49293 +(209)- [X]

MetalMantisX: ozzy's daughter obviously got none of her fathers talent
KennyGetsum: both of the kids look like the mom.. ud never guess they were even related to Ozzy
MetalMantisX: his other daughter looks like him though
MetalMantisX: the smart one, thats not on the show
KennyGetsum: ya cause she was concieved while ozzys blood alcohol content was under 20%

#50074 +(16)- [X]

<Sn00ch> Jesus is coming, Open your mouth.

#51537 +(235)- [X]

<eqnox> I need ddr to unlease my full power
<kingBooze> ddr?
<eqnox> dance dance revolution
<kingBooze> I've never played
<kingBooze> is it as fun as everyone says it is?
<bennid> no
<bennid> just gay
<DSmooth> kingBooze: ddr is for ghetto kids
<DSmooth> at the arcade
<DSmooth> and their white trash girlfirends watch them play
<DSmooth> until they've had enough
<DSmooth> then they take them home and beat them

#51783 +(158)- [X]

<@Daybreaker> bah
<@Daybreaker> i got sick oF that bin laden game the first time i played it
<@Daybreaker> like a year ago
<@Daybreaker> fuck flash games
<@Blur> hentai?
<@Daybreaker> shush
<@Daybreaker> i caN't stand a game where the difficulty levels are "poorly made" "badly made" and "free 15 day macromedia preview"
<@Blur> lol
<@Daybreaker> fuck all that

#55804 +(421)- [X]

<AGodlyHeretic> and i installed enough security equipment on my computer, that even i think i might have gone overboard
<smokedbrown> lol
<AGodlyHeretic> no seriously, it records every keystroke i make and is totally hidden. can only be DETECTED with my password, and requires a second password to open it. it also is designed to take screenshots everyso often when a specific strings is typed
<smokedbrown> Dude.
<smokedbrown> um.
<smokedbrown> the white people of waco called. they want thier paranoia back

#57148 +(653)- [X]

<AriaStargazer> the other day
<AriaStargazer> in the car
<AriaStargazer> i was in traffic
<AriaStargazer> and i thought to myself
<AriaStargazer> "jesus this lag sucks"
<AriaStargazer> and then i looked around
<AriaStargazer> and i was like
<AriaStargazer> ..............

#62578 +(55)- [X]

<Spud> Man, watching Fear Factor earlier.  Two Hot Chicks + Horse Rectum Eating Contest = TurnOn++
<rzrshrp> *barf
<Spud> Synthetic horse rectum, of course, but still...

#73186 +(610)- [X]

<Pac>: So I said to my roommate: "Ahomosayswhat?" My Roommate :  *mumbles incoherently* Pac: what?.............dammit

#76839 +(679)- [X]

<cHiiZukAMi> lol, my gf knows how to play mario, thats so sexy
<cHiiZukAMi> i let her borrow my gameboy for band and she did all these secret areas i forgot about
<cHiiZukAMi> who cares if a girl cant do your laundry or stuff if she can get you to the donut secret ghost house?

#81922 +(120)- [X]

<^10acious^> u live in germany and as such have an endless supply of porn
<bvark> I actually bought a DVD called 'Granny cunts' yesterday
<bvark> I give the best leaving presents
<^10acious^> u have issues

#89683 +(191)- [X]

Liz: id like to have something else :-P
katie: lol
katie: i would too
katie: like 5 seconds with him
katie: even 5 milliseconds
Liz: mmmm, 5 milliseconds of sex
Liz: is that even a full thrust?
katie: 1/2 of one
Liz: mmmm, half thrust

#105249 +(428)- [X]

<gore> man
<gore> i wouldnt be caught dead with a necropheliac

#148121 +(1357)- [X]

<Soybomb> On the way home yesterday, I saw a car with a vanity plate that read: LINUX OS
<Soybomb> I really wished for a truck with a WINDOWS plate to ram it...sadly, no.
<Druuna> unfortunately, you'd probably crash before hitting it...

#182706 +(297)- [X]

Myke`: Bush's national security adviser is named Condoleezza Rice   
Myke`: wth kinda name is that?
dodee: sounds like a mexican side dish.

#221121 +(504)- [X]

* sty is now listening to Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Two Tribes
* Bluey is now listening to The Printer - Churning Out Pages.

#356275 +(484)- [X]

<Maxim> rhetorical jeopardy is a pretty tricky game, you know? :/

#366903 +(1058)- [X]

<neverrain> omg i went outside
<neverrain> i havent been outside in weeks
<neverrain> it was.....freaky
<c7r> nerd
<Axis100> I can usually determine the last time I went outside by using /systemuptime.
<Axis100> 6 days, 28 mins and 16 seconds

#413227 +(2460)- [X]

<nntndgrl> wanna cyber?
<nntndgrl> what do you have on right now?
<ghalath> Umm.. MSN, mIRC and Winamp, why?

#700847 +(2905)- [X]

andyg721: i think it was on CNN
andyg721: Condoleeza Rice went to Asia
andyg721: the headline was RICE IN ASIA

#755629 +(559)- [X]

<+knife> i produce enough semen in one day to feed half of africa
<+msBob> no wonder they all have aids

#961538 +(82)- [X]

<Lauren> I have this recurring javascript error
<Lauren> Uncaught TypeError: Illegal invocation
<gasp> did you try running it during full moon ?

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