#115 +(7503)- [X]
<BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
<BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
<BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
<BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?
#722 +(701)- [X]
<MadHatter> if you want to meet girls, I'll take you out
<Ash> I want nice nerd girls, not coked-up models.
#1490 +(423)- [X]
* AaronWL licks jwilbur seductively.
<jwilbur> AaronWL: rawr, you're a frisky one. Too bad you're on AOL, I might catch something
#2773 +(572)- [X]
<michael-> Complaint : Seller won auction but did not send payment
<michael-> Response by email@example.com - son was killed in a car crash, extremely insensitive and impatient seller
#4065 +(212)- [X]
<Mazroth> ya vodka is potato water, thats why everyone in russia drinks it
<Mazroth> too many potatoes there
<Mazroth> They have it at mcdonalds, heh
<Mazroth> in fountains.
<Mazroth> big mac, large fry, and supersized vodka
#4274 +(220)- [X]
<DeX`> i could eat a 4lb london broil and have room left for a small chinese woman
<Damaceles> after you ate her you'd have to eat again in an hour
#6938 +(155)- [X]
<eric> ...whered #goatsex go?
<eric> mommy, where do cheerleaders come from?
<eric> ...whats lleh backwards?
#6964 +(58)- [X]
<lokia:#916> you obvioously havent been modeming long
#6994 +(645)- [X]
<mgod> weights 300 or something
<mgod> she sez she has a thyroid problem
<bats> um i didn't know nabisco made thyroids
#7485 +(339)- [X]
<Chrizto> show me a chick worth worrying about after you're not the one fucking them anymore and I'll show you the value of the imaginary number i
#9008 +(194)- [X]
<mrfy> hmm. my title choice was questioned
<pembroke> what title did you ask for?
<mrfy> software zymurgist
<mrfy> "I was curious, since 'zymurgist' usually has to do with the chemical fermentation process in the production of wine. Perhaps that's a term also used in software, and I apologize for having second guessed this if that is the case."
#9494 +(853)- [X]
<normaliamnot> u ppl here about this building, i think it called, trade center, or big trade center or something?
<normaliamnot> it broken
#10646 +(446)- [X]
<hybridy2k> how do i give ppl ops with a certain level
<@netwerk> rephrase your question in english before i find an axe and murder your parents
#14933 +(50)- [X]
<mevrick6> buti dont like verbal sex, cos it creat me problem'
#16707 +(316)- [X]
*** Quits: nanm (Quit: Unable to join #real_life (You're banned))
#17475 +(143)- [X]
* Techniq throws salt in FG's eyes
* FuNGuY throws ass in techo's dick
#17984 +(248)- [X]
<RuTaLiA> i *know* im a receptionist, but it would make my job a lot easier if ppl wouldnt call up here
#18149 +(351)- [X]
<JonnyButt> dont you hate it when you are making out with a chick
<JonnyButt> and she has a penis
#23563 +(623)- [X]
<@freshmint> How do you get a goth out of a tree?
<@freshmint> Cut the rope.
#34343 +(137)- [X]
<Moeser> you don't chase whiskey
<Moeser> you run away from it
<Moeser> very swiftly
<Moeser> and you don't make sudden moves
#39322 +(664)- [X]
<Comedy-> my beer needs an f5 button
#40380 +(227)- [X]
<Zeuxy> I have to take all the dead small children out of my walls.
<Zeuxy> Cable guy's coming on monday.
<Kayin> Zeuxy: so you're a pedonecrophiliac?
<Zeuxy> Kayin: I never said I fucked them.
<Zeuxy> .. well.. just the chicks
<Zeuxy> But usually while they're alive
#40914 +(425)- [X]
* Praetorian is back: filling my tum tum after 17mins 11secs
<mil-soldat> Praetorian: you have the wierdest reasons in your script
<Praetorian> yep :-) ta
<milenko> what do you say when you go off with your gf for a bit of action?
<milenko> * Praetorian is back: filling my girlfriends tum tum after 1mins 12secs
#41249 +(156)- [X]
<DiNky> hey guys
<DiNky> anyone have the black heaven soundtrack?
<DiNky> I'm looking for the song they play in the last ep
<Parak> ack, you used ne1...
<Parak> that term is so...20th century
<Parak> this day and age, we use something like //e| |-|4/3z0rz T|-||z z0ngz0rz?!$!@!!!111
#45336 +(102)- [X]
<Ben> I was talking to someone I know in English class today about my plans to Linuxize my old PowerMac, he asked "what kind?" I said "Debian or SuSE", he replies, "Who are Debbie and Susie?"
#46726 +(97)- [X]
(sean) dominos came
(sean) and when dominos comes
(sean) sean cums
(BigRo2k2) ok, and what?
(BigRo2k2) ok buddy
(BigRo2k2) you are a little too excited for shitty pizza man
#50213 +(612)- [X]
<eva> you ever notice that you dont sneeze when you pee?
<Rivorus> i actually sneezed while peeing just the other day
<Rivorus> and i was thinking about how people say that
<eva> Rivorus/ well did you BLOW your ASSHOLE OUT?
<Rivorus> the pee went all over my roommate's face
<Rivorus> I mean the toilet seat.
* Rivorus coughs
#56907 +(271)- [X]
<-- FaNt0m_ has quit (Quit: Procrastination is like masturbation; it's all good until you realize you just fucked yourself.)
#57603 +(25)- [X]
<orge> computer speed is 1125Mhz
<claws03> lurking at 1364Mhz
<SantaJes> s00p3r 4thl0n runn1ng 4t 1915Mhz
<kisama> ticks: 148mhz
<kisama> fear me motherfuckers
<orge> i dont know whats lamer ticks or that 148 mhz
#74327 +(230)- [X]
<Imajin> I bet you havent heard of Hingham MA either.
<Foom> no, but i've heard of MA.
<||bass> ive seen MA on the map....
<||bass> it's purple!
#85901 +(149)- [X]
<Smurfette> I used to blow up cars... but I kept burning my lips on that damn exhaust pipe
#98680 +(517)- [X]
<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point
#100481 +(708)- [X]
<ChOwShAdY> like i fucked a 14 year old when i was 17
<ChOwShAdY> she was immature as a motherufcker
<@impuritor> dude, that is quite possibly the dumbest thing i've ever heard anyone say in my entire life
<@impuritor> that's like saying
<@impuritor> "My car runs like shit when i'm out of gas"
#105180 +(417)- [X]
<Eckostyle> If Mexico had a major eathquake, Britain would send 100,000 replacement troopes to control the riots, Brasil would send 100,00 pounds of replacement food, and teh USA would send 100,000 repalcement Mexicans
#105318 +(720)- [X]
<dj`rayray[eN]> If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner
#130442 +(694)- [X]
<cruunch> i dont believe this
<cruunch> im tryin to phone sex this girl, the one i didnt go to poker night with cause im poor
<cruunch> and i heard her roomate ask her who she was talkin too
<cruunch> and she said
<cruunch> i fucking kid you not
<Sean-> just, no
<cruunch> ohhhh yaaaa!
<CeNo65> did you tell her thats not your name .. its just the website that hosts your pics?
#138543 +(185)- [X]
<xassassingod> but i do love brittany murphy
<xassassingod> she WILL have my babies
<***|away> you make some and then put them in front of her door ?
#162330 +(768)- [X]
*** Signoff: AntiNorm (Quit: Client Exiting)
<BaconStation> somewhere in the universe, a Norm also quits IRC.
#189840 +(1258)- [X]
<Kosh> in LotR all the elves sailed to the "undying lands" to the west. Continental drift caused those lands to move further north and eventually they were left to spend eternity making toys for their new red-suited overlord
#217453 +(9229)- [X]
<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...
#233651 +(1387)- [X]
<Chrisodeo> veni, veni, veni.
#243485 +(254)- [X]
* Huroya shoots Flak
* Flak catches the bullet with his teeth
<Huroya> By "catch" I think you mean it shatters your jaw and puts a hole the size of a baseball through the back of your skull.
#375158 +(355)- [X]
cardrealmsk8: i made it to 2nd base today
Nck Tracy: nice.
Nck Tracy: I made it to third, but there was no one else with me.
#505242 +(2212)- [X]
<Zoiks> its my birthday in two weeks :D
<Zoiks> I'mma throw a big party and invite all my friends
<Zoiks> shit dude, I need to start making plans
<+madhtr003> and friends
#528007 +(1518)- [X]
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV
#591385 +(1288)- [X]
(cyber1|t0) anyone know how i can open up pm's without a mouse pm me now
(cyber1|t0) actually dont pm
#618165 +(2770)- [X]
* Sinbad changes topic to '15000 atheists in London rioted after a blank sheet of paper was found on a cartoonist's desk'
#646624 +(446)- [X]
t903576: When I got arrested my dad told me "Youre lucky there arent any "doctors" around here that will perform 72nd trimester abortions"!
#647601 +(1513)- [X]
Jeffrey: Our customers at Cox are simply amazing.
Jeffrey: So I'm trying to troubleshoot this customer's cable. I tell her to punch in "zero, three" on the remote control.
Jeffrey: These instructions were followed shortly by two tones in my ear.
#715368 +(486)- [X]
<trav> Christians have Jerusalem
<trav> muslims have mecca
<trav> stoners have amsterdam