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#138 +(361)- [X]

<BlackDeth> ITS SLOW AS A 30 FOOT SHIT COMING OUT OF AN ANT''S ASSHOLE

#178 +(836)- [X]

<homerj> I'm saying that as a friend, not as a linux zealot

#591 +(172)- [X]

<gb> I'M BREAKING OUT THE DoS
<gb> THERE GOEZ ED
<gb> BYE BYE
<hypr> DONT DOS ME"
<hypr> FUCKERKGHJIJGEG
<blazemore> hypr: quick, go buy dsl!

#5520 +(190)- [X]

<Njits> phuk, I just realized I slept thru a dentists appointment :(
<automat0n> were you in the dentist's chair?

#7069 +(193)- [X]

<anarch> i should put some pants on and go check my mail
<Burimpu> or you could do it without pants

#8748 +(1193)- [X]

<Bayls> I'm downloading "two girls in the woods stop to kiss and piss.mpg".
<Bayls> And it turns out it's an mpg of two chicks in thw woods who stop to kiss, and then piss.
<Bayls> Dunno what I was expecting.

#8934 +(198)- [X]

<@kt> i'm going to put icey hot on my nipples again
<@kt> bye

#9112 +(750)- [X]

<ManC0W> Mikado : Mitsukake is an ass pirate
<Mikado`> ManC0W: I believe so, yes.
<Mikado`> ManC0W: can he see this?
<Mikado`> ManC0W: if we prefix our sentences with our intended targets, the others can't see it, right?
<ManC0W> Mikado : I think so Brain...
<Mikado`> ManC0W: Cuz I'd really hate for Mitsukake to know how gay I think he is
<Mitsukake> Why is this room so dead all of a sudden?
<Mikado`> LOL
<Mitsukake> What?
<Mitsukake> What's so funny?

#10828 +(252)- [X]

<MeTh|pizzza> ack! i think some1 is tryin 2 break into my house! i just saw a kladder go by the window...
<ddrfreak> really?
<MeTh|pizzza> in other chan...
<ddrfreak> somoene is trying to break into your house in the other channel?

#11610 +(251)- [X]

<\slick> i hate when girls smile at the camera and act like they enjoy it in porn
<\slick> ruins my mentality that they are being raped

#14367 +(154)- [X]

<Krogzar> !8ball may i kick you?
<SDs8ball> Krogzar : YES IN DUE TIME
*** SDs8ball was kicked by P ((Krogzar) ta time is due)

#14486 +(54)- [X]

<infra> yeah I got it now, thanks.
<EarthWork> infra: Don't thank us. Thank lil' baby Jesus.
<FilthyM> I keep baby Jesus in my shoe.
ominous watches a lightning bolt energize above infra's house....

#15822 +(363)- [X]

<evilpie> P.S. oblique, since both you and your girlfriend live with your parents, how in the fuck do you manage to bang her?
<jre> It wasn't so much of a bang as a dull thud."

#16833 +(654)- [X]

<grier> you think you're so god damn floorless
<grier> so superior
<XfitzyX> do you mean flawless?
<girer> oh fucken leave me alone
* grier has quit IRC (Exit: i am so alone in this empty world)

#18316 +(383)- [X]

<count^> real life is just something the government invented to steal my money

#21971 +(62)- [X]

<Lurking-Neko-Saist> I hate having Sex with peer, she makes feel so disconnected

#23364 +(148)- [X]

<Gentletouch> Adonai...one day you'lllearn...there are Much better things in life to lick then carpet ;D
<Adonai> yeah, like studying a grammar book

#42958 +(391)- [X]

<KANG> You know, I don't think you can call it a "friendly rivalry" after you've killed your opponent's parents.

#48300 +(35)- [X]

<Inno[AoFoKu]> he has been connected to thier cocks by the lips for a while

#49891 +(1102)- [X]

(R-66Y) 1280x1024 at 60hz hurts my eyes
(raygun) hmm
(raygun) it Hz your eyes
(raygun) SNORT SNORT

#51537 +(240)- [X]

<eqnox> I need ddr to unlease my full power
<kingBooze> ddr?
<eqnox> dance dance revolution
<kingBooze> I've never played
<kingBooze> is it as fun as everyone says it is?
<bennid> no
<bennid> just gay
<DSmooth> kingBooze: ddr is for ghetto kids
<DSmooth> at the arcade
<DSmooth> and their white trash girlfirends watch them play
<DSmooth> until they've had enough
<DSmooth> then they take them home and beat them

#58131 +(333)- [X]

<Nematocyst> Christ
<Nematocyst> I have you urinate
<Nematocyst> I hate to urinate
<Nematocyst> I have to urinate
<Nematocyst> fuck
<Nematocyst> the time it took me to write that I could have peed like four times over

#59671 +(136)- [X]

<kv9> ive just adjusted my sitting position
<kv9> to conceal any possible sudden hardons

#62241 +(573)- [X]

<mulambo`MoD> man
<mulambo`MoD> this dude is fucking everywhere
<mulambo`MoD> every channel i go to he's on
<mulambo`MoD> but he never talks to me
<mulambo`MoD> CHANSERV!!!!!!!!!!
<mulambo`MoD> HELLO!!!!!!!!!

#62403 +(354)- [X]

<kuribo> either this CD player is possessed or it's trying to tell me to take out this Avril Lavigne CD
<kuribo> i would think it was these cheap ass CDrs i bought
<kuribo> but my christina aguilera retail CD does it too
<MikeSweetser> Ted, every insight into your CD collection reveals more of a damaged, lonely man. :)

#68451 +(494)- [X]

<CheeseSteakJim> i like porn because it doesnt laugh at my penis

#71964 +(607)- [X]

liz: you know if love was measured in kb's ...it would take HOURS for me to upload my love for you.
mikey: *taps your forehead* that's because of your small upstream bandwidth dear.
mikey: <3
liz: hahahhahahhahahhaha
liz: god i love it when you talk dorky to me
mikey: also, i seem to be dropping syn packets.
mikey: i suspect a collision somewhere on your train of thought.
liz: ping www.loveformikey.com
mikey: host not found :-(

#76841 +(290)- [X]

<Scogeta> screw you.
<ShadowZirus> a/s/l?

#80710 +(129)- [X]

<jillium> oh, yeah, I think I remember that site.  Literary criticism and essays, right?
<anomaly> heh, well it was a personal site about a teen wanting a boob job.

#83094 +(423)- [X]

<magpie> i bet you just hit a deer with your vehicle
<magpie> and call it "hunting"
<JustNoodle> I drive a saturn, I'd have more of a chance of my car exploding then killing a deer when I hit one

#84765 +(742)- [X]

[loucura] yummm... french fries and gravy
[Crysanna] you need cheese with that
[loucura] Yeah, but I don't feel like melting any cheese.
[loucura] That, and all I have is american cheese, I'm afraid it'll go to war with my french fries

#96202 +(282)- [X]

<Red_Sky> Time for some Yiddish freestyle rap! This one goes out to all my Rabbi homiez.
<Red_Sky> Wizzord to the oy, oy to the vay- to the 'lom shalabei, rockin with my niggaz, true blood niggaz! Torah torah torah! Hip to the hop to the skip to the drop, schmokin schnitzel mit my schmutzel, rock the block! I'm da freeflowin gentile schlemiel! What now!! What!

#105844 +(321)- [X]

<HomesickAlien> 17" iMac - that's like having a nine inch penis but being impotent

#105855 +(494)- [X]

<Foobar> this guy is like weapons-grade stupid

#122456 +(40)- [X]

* Kranium has quit IRC (I'mmm Sailing away.......Set an open course for the virgin sea..... Cause i've got to be freeee, free to face the life t)
<Luigi30> Wait, I'm bored, I get to be the captain.

#147018 +(327)- [X]

<x0b> hey
<@wrong> HI
<x0b> suh wrong
<x0b> everything alright
<x0b> or
<x0b> all wrong
<x0b> :P
<|iquid> haa haa
<|iquid> you're very funny x0b
<|iquid> painfully funny
<|iquid> I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to hang yourself.

#187073 +(460)- [X]

<Oceania> you penetrate my mouth
<Oceania> your in-and-outs are furious
<Oceania> sometimes a hair get stuck between my teeth
<Oceania> you always leave that white tasty liquid in my mouth
<Oceania> good ol' toothbrush

#227855 +(797)- [X]

* MaianAlien goes to reformat other PC.
<Jerec> It's as if a million files suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

#241121 +(461)- [X]

Alex: I'm so goth even my chocobos are black.

#363821 +(1363)- [X]

<neo_alex> stop arguing you fucks
<enz0> Maybe it's YOUR mum
<spandrick_doll> fuck you
<spandrick_doll> you just cant haxk it
<spandrick_doll> *hack
<neo_alex> that does it, im creating characters of you in The Sims and im gonna make you have a gay marriage

#375071 +(3053)- [X]

<cow_crap> ok I came to class early one day, considerably early
<cow_crap> and there's a girl there that I'm quite taken aback by
<cow_crap> and she said "wow, you came early" and I said, without thinking, "that's what all the girls say"
<cow_crap> I am such a fucking idiot
<cow_crap> she laughed at me for like 15 mins

#488268 +(1710)- [X]

<khamosis> oh man... i had typed "hey! anyone awake?" in another channel about 20 minutes ago
<khamosis> and just now i saw it and typed "yes!" not realizing it was me

#606476 +(366)- [X]

<richie> its ironic how a flow of blood to the lower regions is only pleasureable to the man

#609327 +(1325)- [X]

<Atob> a alphabetically be in organised sentence should words

#610088 +(432)- [X]

ARcanUS NUMquam: night is sitll young
live billboard: virginal
ARcanUS NUMquam: the barrier between today and tommorrow has barely been pressured
live billboard: but soon it will be penetrated
live billboard: father time will thrust his way into the young tommorrow
ARcanUS NUMquam: using his tool that he nicknamed the "second hand" when it strikes 12

#619614 +(2626)- [X]

<Conflict> my girlfriend tattooed this guy's dick last week and when i came home i was like "how'd the tattoo go?" and she goes "fine, except that I needed both hands so I had to hold his cock in my mouth." i was like "thats ni-you whaaa?!??"

#640489 +(674)- [X]

<chicken_on_fire> i jammed my memory stick backwards and shorted out the mobo
<Mouser> o shit
<chicken_on_fire> what're the chances of that happening?
<Mouser> 1/1, apparently

#713274 +(638)- [X]

<Gig> Bah, drunk students setting off the firealarm to the building, silent one too, so direct to the fire station. So we had some fireman knocking on our door trying to get us out
<Gig> and my flatmate who answered the door shouted out "Hey lads! look the stripper's here!"
<Gig> you would be surprised how fast people got out of their rooms

#757207 +(739)- [X]

<iank> I accidentally type valid perl when I'm angry.
<iank> @$#()*UD()IIF#

#770001 +(314)- [X]

YukiNagato: As much as I do tend to play games that are generally enjoyed by virginal fat dudes, I wouldn't touch WoW with a ten foot pole.
YukiNagato: It's just that the whole "KILL MONSTERS LEVEL UP. RINSE. REPEAT" thing is kinda old.
Semantic: That's not entirely true. It turns out that many WoW players forget the rinse part.

0.1528 21090 quotes approved; 1253 quotes pending
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