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#541 +(89)- [X]

<smcn> a pig could fly if you like put a rocket up its ass and lit it

#724 +(108)- [X]

<EFX> at least I'm not black with a huge penis

#762 +(231)- [X]

uuu join/#unix (Hes^GoT^LiNuX!root@vw-14185.kems.net)..
<Hes^GoT^LiNuX> I Have Linux Perl Can i Download Gnome???

#1974 +(221)- [X]

<pinin> i give it 5 years before taliban is destroyed and northern alliance gets their own country back and we fund em and turn it into a big shopping mall

#2385 +(464)- [X]

<Kazz> Are you coming on to me?
<Dregan> With a spelling change.
<Dregan> And perhaps without the 'to'.

#2738 +(342)- [X]

<ckx> xmas was fun back before i was blessed with pubes and still had hopes and dreams and such

#3145 +(367)- [X]

* FlipTopBox eats Dicks
<FlipTopBox> capitalization is very important sometimes

#3201 +(447)- [X]

<Waldo> tool, are you retarded or just an idiot? i need to know if i should just hate you or pity you as well.
<Tool> i think you should hate me
<Waldo> that's a given
<Waldo> i need to know if i should pity you as well.

#3848 +(203)- [X]

<zedebsky> Coughing sucks, but does get you higher :)
<tonic4> zedebsky, coughing opens up parts of your lungs that usually don't get in air, in the case of smoking, smoke, so thats how it gets you higher
<latez> lol
<latez> we've got a medic

#4183 +(67)- [X]

( ) Topic Change: prence sets topic to <Male Camwhore Act>I will now send you a cum filled tube sock if you buy something off my wishlist, thanks!</Male Camwhore Act>

#6618 +(794)- [X]

<Jon^D> I had to cat 8-9 seperate quote files, compare each line in each of them to make sure there weren't any duplicates then sort
<Jon^D> I wrote a nasty perl script to get it donw
<Jon^D> and it didn't work very well
<skank> cat quote*.txt |sort |uniq

#6631 +(302)- [X]

<Hawx> wtf is Scotty
<Shinji> Hawx - ScottyFox, he's in here occasionaly, I used to live with him in Canada.
<Hawx> scottyfox is one letter away from being scattyfox
<Shinji> Hawx - and you're four letters away from being 'fuck'.
<Hawx> :D

#6879 +(276)- [X]

<Bad-Co> Next time your having a bad day, think of this... Your a siamese twin, your brother is gay and your not. But you only got one arsehole.

#7057 +(623)- [X]

<Lazarus> Anyone care to guess my sign?
<DocWebstr> "Keep Off"?
<Lazarus> Wrong Way.
<Beki> this end up? :)
<K`shandra> "Thank You - Come Again." ;-)

#7183 +(597)- [X]

(Jeopardy) hi I need someone to help me with compiling a small program
(dgc) Jeopardy: What is gcc?

#7841 +(112)- [X]

<Lizrdling> bunch other thatway doing swing.
<Lizrdling> bunch of me and others having a picnic.
<nebouxii> swinging? like having sex with each other?
<rob`> nebo; Stanford, not Berkeley.

#8032 +(35)- [X]

<Empathy> I wanna crap, but my mother's in bed and dropping logs'd wake her up

#12082 +(167)- [X]

<punkgurl> I usta be scared of the dick, now I grab a hold of it and handle it like a real bitch

#14175 +(230)- [X]

<Adiemus> what country is .mk
<B|1nD> mexiko

#17452 +(291)- [X]

<emp|whiskey> icq??? who still uses that?
<jud_> pervs
<zapp> i do
<zapp> oops
<zapp> oh damn.

#20220 +(233)- [X]

<_ohm> sara, as a girl i have to ask you a serious question
<_ohm> girl/woman
<_ohm> do you know when a guy is producing massive amounts of ass sweat

#23472 +(55)- [X]

<D1> theres no reason for me to smell good anymore.
<D1> so I tend to stick with the rancid odor since I don't have to impress anyone.

#24333 +(192)- [X]

<Maven`> I'm god in 8 channels of the 8 i'm in. I own 228 sluts.
Preach> you're a fucking dork who needs to get laid
<Preach> nuff said
<Maven`> true

#27406 +(223)- [X]

* ashie is already starting to miss senior year of high school
<ashie> i cut school so much, i'd end up coming in on holidays, not knowing there was no school

#37449 +(1345)- [X]

[@Sekt]: "They say that when you play a Microsoft CD backwards you can hear demonic voices...
[@Sekt]: But that's nothing - When you play it forwards it installs Windows."

#43491 +(540)- [X]

<@Fat-Burrick> I spent the entire day being normal, now that I'm home, I just want to duct tape fuzzy green pipe cleaners to my head, turn on the strobe, take off my clothes, and IRC.

#47945 +(249)- [X]

<shane_work> socks go before shoes, underwear goes before pants, condom goes before penis
<shane_work> whahoo
<nem0> ...i don't think you can put the penis on AFTER the condom, yo

#49519 +(18)- [X]

<DJ_Antonissen> learned?
<DJ_Antonissen> isn't that for nerds?

#50053 +(356)- [X]

<@Loki^> damn birds
<@Loki^> make too much noise
<@_zOmbIE_> watercool them

#53833 +(483)- [X]

<greeny> so i turn this box upside down and you know what i find printed on the bottom?
<greeny> "don't turn the box upside down"
<greeny> :

#69906 +(228)- [X]

* PokeSmot pokes everyone to sleep
<+JohnTaSays> ur nick somehow makes me keep thinkin of smoke pot
<@Pyroman> ...

#73065 +(222)- [X]

<SandLev> I keep those empty cardboard boxes that used to hold blank cd-r's... put the pr0n in those...
<SandLev> nobody thinks to search blank cd-r boxes for actuall stuff
<Zoogle> except someone who is looking for a blank cd.. :/

#75293 +(204)- [X]

(dosdemon)  I'm downloading something called "vagina vacum pump in action"
(CautionIAmBoozer)  interesting
(HSS-KUN)  Aww...they spoiled it by putting the plot in the title. I hate that.

#75590 +(258)- [X]

<Vigil> You know, I think I must be frequented by chapstick gnomes. I have no idea what they do with the fuckers, but they've carried off three this month.

#80965 +(304)- [X]

<mog> 4/f/kali, ne1 wanna cybar?  omglol moms home brb
<mog> er...
<mog> that was supposed to be 14
<mog> either way

#86247 +(42)- [X]

<timmo> tim would rather fuck a woman who doesnt know what the hell irc is
<c-rOCK> fuck that
<c-rOCK> i want a hottie who can irc it up.
<c-rOCK> and i wanna be like
<c-rOCK> yeah im a mod on bash.org
<c-rOCK> hop on my dick now slut.

#103486 +(419)- [X]

<_3Apophis> how i'm i stupid?

#124756 +(1094)- [X]

<NekoGuy> Ladies and Gentlemen of the world, tonight I masterbated, then told the President of Africa to fuck off because he has no intention of cooperating, then I read a book for 39 minutes, then made love to my wife anally. Any questions?
<NekoGuy> XD
<It> lupis, dehumanizing the enemy is the prime strategy for victory in war.  If your enemy isn't human, but a crazy shithead mindless bastard who doesn't deserve to live, it's easier to get soldiers to kill.
<It> lol
<It> Targen from The 3l33t Times.  Can you offer us pictures of the anal love to your wife?
<NekoGuy> Nope, but I will have you educated.
<NekoGuy> GUARDS! TAKE THIS MAN OUTSIDE AND SHOOT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
* NekoGuy sniffles
<It> Fuck.
<NekoGuy> I'm a man of hard love
<NekoGuy> hard as in the steel of a bullet
<It> Bullets aren't made of steel.
<NekoGuy> MY FUCKING BULLETS ARE
<NekoGuy> GUARDS, CASTRATE THIS MAN BEFORE YOU SHOOT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD
<NekoGuy> THEN TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK.
<It> Fuck.
<NekoGuy> AND BRING ME VIRGINS
<It> I don't get what's so great about virgins.
<It> They bleed when you fucks 'em.
<lupis> virgins who have been extensively taught sexual techniques
<It> lupis, and have no actual practical experience?
<NekoGuy> ...
<NekoGuy> GUARDS
<It> NekoGuy: your guards are too busy having hot yaoi mansex with each other.
<NekoGuy> Fuck...

#153676 +(554)- [X]

<Mr_Vain> that reminds me of an anti-abortion sticker I saw once: "Being a former fetus, I'm against abortion."
<TheXPhial> being a former one celled organism, I'm against menstruation..not much I can do about it

#221306 +(1477)- [X]

<zorba> man tesla was a cool guy
<zorba> he basically transmitted power over 30 feet without the use of wires
<arpit> i can do it too :P
* arpit throws a battery

#256732 +(382)- [X]

<CrazyDUMPLING> i treat my women like sUGAR
<Tetsuo> How so?
<CrazyDUMPLING> i put them inbags and lick them
<CrazyDUMPLING> or at least i did until that financially debilitiating lawsuit
<Tetsuo> ...

#399773 +(1219)- [X]

<Outsyder> ok
<Outsyder> so I was sitting in gym on friday
<Outsyder> my friends were talking about some stupid thing
<Outsyder> and I was stroking my leg hair
<Outsyder> and i thought
<Outsyder> "hey, if a supervillian had hairy legs, he wouldn't need a cat"

#707847 +(755)- [X]

<nefzen539> What's wrong with maroon 5?
<pr0nstar> They're a boyband, girls like boy bands
<nefzen539> based on the evidence... i must be gay
<pr0nstar> it does seem likely...
<nefzen539>It must be that every male i've come into contact with is horrendously ugly cos i haven't been attracted to any
<pr0nstar> as unlikely as that sounds it is more likely than a straight male liking maroon 5

#708481 +(102)- [X]

element: i feel lucky because i won every advertisement game today...i have so many free ringtones its not even funny

#709214 +(1222)- [X]

<@Hydro> so I'm trying to install this software, right?
<@Hydro> And my PC won't install it...
<@Hydro> I'm telling you, it's either my pc broke, or me being stupid.
<@Hydro> Has to be one of the three.

#715093 +(1332)- [X]

MrHahn2265: she is my sister
MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her
MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through massive bangings on the keyboard
MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk
MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint

#737318 +(961)- [X]

<Python> Did you fall from a shooting star?
<silly_girlie> hehe
<silly_girlie> ahh sure why not
<GLT23> because your face looks like it slammed into earth at 1500 mph? is that the end of the pickup line?

#772119 +(349)- [X]

<d-snp> Warning, premature end of input, use <Shift> + <Enter> to avoid this message.
<d-snp> Maple tells me the same thing all the girls do :(

#790334 +(690)- [X]

crwuidth: It's going to be hilarious if i ever live long enough to have grandchildren.
crwuidth: "Wait, Gramps, so you guys used to drink ethyl alcohol? Isn't that what's in jet fuel?" "Yep. Great stuff, that. Shame they banned it when the synthetic stuff got made." "Wasn't it bad for you, drinking jet fuel?" "Made you feel like hell the next morning if you got hold of too much, that's for sure."
crwuidth: they may be psychics and cyborgs and shit, but we are going to be hardcore in ways our grandkids could never dream of being.

#882628 +(540)- [X]

<LivingScarecrow> you want to emulate a chatroom irl? go to a highschool chess club and pass out guns and meth

0.1596 21065 quotes approved; 825 quotes pending
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