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#1408 +(259)- [X]

<mlkesl> Lets all be vermifuge robots.
* mlkesl goes into robot mode.
* mlkesl does nothing.
* mlkesl makes fun of people who do stuff.
* mlkesl does some more nothing.

#1753 +(3268)- [X]

<Squizzle> WARNING: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.

#3807 +(528)- [X]

[bytraper] they are my family.... I love them like they were my own, I couldn't part with them for less than $20

#4631 +(357)- [X]

<ic0n0> i love the midwest
<NecroMort> ilke gurls with big fat titties.
<ic0n0> what does that have to do with the midwest?
<polar> you have something against titties?

#5039 +(241)- [X]

<Myles> if ur piss comes out like vanilla pudding wat duz that mean

#6363 +(50)- [X]

<JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...
<JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious in his sight.

#7163 +(69)- [X]

<Descartes> A wanker is not a racial slur
<GORE> it is
<GORE> beleive me it is
<GORE> to me

#7984 +(30)- [X]

<@primig> why is duct tape like the force
<@primig> it has a dark and a light side
<@primig> and it holdes the universe together

#9346 +(504)- [X]

<bob> you're like "i want something that uses gtk :(" and redhat's like "YOU MUST NOW INSTALL GNOME-CORE; GNOME-TOYS; GNOME-QUAKE; GNOME-PRETTY-CAT-THAT-DANCES-ON-YOUR-WINDOWZ"
<bob> "Press Space Bar to install 1986 Space Shuttle Schematics"
<bob> "Or Enter to install HAM RADIO to RealPlayer signal converter"
<bob> "Or press nothing, and I will Reboot"

#11506 +(229)- [X]

* Teufel is a moron
<_wEaSeL_> well said
<Teufel> I tore up my room looking for the receipt for my 'broken speakers' to return them; when all I had to do is plug them in

#11715 +(266)- [X]

<Yogurt> Action Half-Life - "To counter Action Quake 2's speed and fun, we've included slow gameplay and the ability to fall down on purpose."

#13583 +(481)- [X]

<SinclairC> Anyone been to Taco Bell lately?
<Piccolo> No. I hate mexican. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Mexican, it's Taco Bell
<Piccolo> No. I hate Taco Bell. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Taco Bell, it's hamburgers
<Piccolo> No. I hate Hamburgers. :] Cheeseburgers are a different matter.
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't hamburgers, it's Dragonball Z
<Piccolo> Damm you

#16990 +(190)- [X]

TallyHoTheZebra: i love fire
TallyHoTheZebra: if i could have sex with it, i would

#17373 +(325)- [X]

<LoRdZephyR> i cant swim
<roboman20> i thought only people with down syndrome couldnt swim
<LoRdZephyR> WELL YOUR WRONG WHORE
* roboman20 hands zeph a chromosome

#18007 +(309)- [X]

<Rival|prophecy> god some guy named whois keeps messaging me with all this hacker shit

#21983 +(394)- [X]

(tobyl) It's damn hard to schedule these things, and we're hitting major plot.
(tobyl) Not to mention my character just went up two levels.
(Fetch) wow
(Fetch) what'd you kill?
(Sancho) the DM

#22389 +(914)- [X]

<sortof> i need ducktape so i can take a shower
<DEZM> uhhhh
<DEZM> i dont want to know what you do with that
<sortof> i tape up my knob real good
<sortof> to keep it down
<DEZM> uhhhhhhhh
<sortof> noo on the shower
<sortof> the drain wont stay closed

#22754 +(540)- [X]

<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb

#29685 +(715)- [X]

@|C|REDS`: I want a fuckin gf
@|C|Nemur: you want a girlfriend or a geforce? plz be specific

#32537 +(231)- [X]

<Froggyz0r> well you know warez is just like wanking....your a lier if you say you dont and a fool if you say you do.

#34970 +(317)- [X]

<Ed> P2 Celeron was good though, because it used the same slot as the P3.
<Mime> P3 has two different slots!
<Mime> I had a SNES game style P3, my mate had a flat one.
<Ed> Mime, that's a socket.
<waffle> Mime: you mean a slot and socket
<Mime> Yes, socket and slot.
<waffle> amd really loved the slot
<kawaii_kekekeke> I love that slot.
<Mime> I love your mom's slot
<waffle> your moms a slot

#36157 +(175)- [X]

<Al> people are often friendly until they learn what an irretrievable shit-pit the world is and what a sick, worthless collection of misshapen animals comprises the human species
<DogWelder> I like to think of it as boot camp, then hell.

#36430 +(359)- [X]

<CheapSk8[RKI]> I am against drugs
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I look in the mirror every morning and remind myself what they can do to a fetus beforth birth.
<tsingtao> your mom did drugs or something?
<CheapSk8[RKI]> No. She doesn't do drugs. I just happen to be in front of a mirror when i remind myself.

#41895 +(413)- [X]

<0oyeaho0> Hey, i have a new boyfriend.  hes so dreamy, and i'm so in love with him.  Hes so nice and sweet.  I just adore him.  I feel like ive known him forever.
<oaklandfoo1> where's he from?
<0oyeaho0> uh, im not sure.

#43820 +(178)- [X]

<+Lithium> i have a very large question mark above my head :)
<+datafreak> press backspace then

#47772 +(218)- [X]

Krav: Y'know, yew can never tell how fast someone can run until yew set them on fire...

#48676 +(667)- [X]

* DuneBoy is fucking dead tires
<DuneBoy> d

#51590 +(251)- [X]

<DA_BUTCHER> Annie will you marry me?
<DA_BUTCHER> I don't care what gender you are!
<|Annie|> shizz
<DA_BUTCHER> I'm Greek
<|Annie|> that's like the 6th time someone's asked me that in here
<|Annie|> I'll get back to you k ._.
<Scotch> It's your own fault for making your gender so obvious in your nick
<DA_BUTCHER> yes but the others would freak out if you turned out to be a 30 year old wrestler named Bernard

#56320 +(357)- [X]

<@arp> Importance: Normal
<@arp> INCREASE YOUR PENIS SIZE BY 1/4 INCH IN ONE WEEK!
<@arp> Guaranteed!!!!!!
<@arp> YAY!
<argoth> thanks for sharing
<j0ker> hell I can do that in a few seconds

#76909 +(695)- [X]

<Gwindor> how do you save a log?
<Rimbaud> don't flush

#85648 +(465)- [X]

<Lord_Red> how did they screw up
<TheDingo> first, they somehow forgot i'd asked for an oil change, which was my main reason i'd brought in the car
<TheDingo> second, they didn't check to make sure WHICH john white i was, and had me listed as some guy in lancaster KY
<TheDingo> they tried calling me last night to say my car wouldn't be ready, but they called this other guy instead, who was quite confused, as he'd never owned a voyager in his life
<Lord_Red> demand money off your bill
<TheDingo> i got them back
<TheDingo> i took TWO donuts from the customer lounge

#94677 +(680)- [X]

<kdtree> i NEVER blow guys that smoke.
<razzi> that could be a nice anti-smoking campaign

#101624 +(303)- [X]

<K2134> holy shit >.< all the guys just ran down the stairs and out the door because the fucking ice cream truck.. talk about immature...
<K2134> lmao.. its funny, six 20 year old guys standing in line for ice cream...

#105332 +(378)- [X]

(Lestat): I wish you didn't agree with me.
(Lestat): It makes me think I might be wrong.

#115462 +(321)- [X]

<@B-Spider`> you young bastage
<@B-Spider`> your balls drop yet?
<@|Qc|Cutthroat> all 3 of them
<@|Qc|Cutthroat> to my surprise

#116170 +(861)- [X]

<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> DRUGS ARE BAD
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> unless you are sick
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or depressed
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or having trouble sleeping
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need to stay awake
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need a little inspiration
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to win a sporting event
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to look cool
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you're just not feeling 100%
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> but other than that they are BAD

#133771 +(664)- [X]

<EL3CTRO> 1 for me, 2 for bob
* EL3CTRO pours beer into his computer case
* EL3CTRO hears a bang
* EL3CTRO (EL3CTRO@xnet-10E67154.glfd.cable.ntl.com) Quit (Killed (Zaphod (Connection reset by beer)))

#137222 +(598)- [X]

< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally

#189209 +(263)- [X]

<aux_> i got gigs like i got ladies
<c0al> ? ur hard drive crashed/
<c0al> ??

#295992 +(230)- [X]

<@len> someone just asked me how to print half a page
<@len> "do you type in .5?"

#329897 +(653)- [X]

volume Maxed out: it's fun talking to "suicidal" chicks
volume Maxed out: because they always make the silliest excuses
volume Maxed out: for why they haven't succeeded in their attempts
volume Maxed out: and i give them like
volume Maxed out: every tried and true suicide method
volume Maxed out: including really simple and painless ones
volume Maxed out: and they make up the dumbest excuses
volume Maxed out: like
volume Maxed out: start a car in a garage
volume Maxed out: and sit back
volume Maxed out: and theyre like
volume Maxed out: i dont have a car
volume Maxed out: or
volume Maxed out: my parents wont let me use their car or something
volume Maxed out: and i'm like
volume Maxed out: bitch your gunna die who gives a shit

#434080 +(1554)- [X]

<Rambo> Have you guys heard about the latest pirate film?
<Rambo> It's rated Arrrr
<Nurple> Rambo, please die

#445438 +(250)- [X]

<diegost> omfg lol
<diegost> i tried to change my gmail pass to "boobies" and it went like...
<diegost> "please use another password, the one you hv just entered is very used on the internet" ^^

#462443 +(2857)- [X]

TANK Ex Mortis: I HATE WINDOWS!!!11one
AkiraBlast45387: ha
AkiraBlast45387: y?
TANK Ex Mortis: "Cannot delete file: It is being used by another person or program. Close any programs that might be using the file and try again."
TANK Ex Mortis: WHAT FILE, YOU SHITHOLE OPERATING SYSTEM!?
TANK Ex Mortis: If I was on Linux, it'd be like "There was an error, program X doesn't want you to delete that file. Here's a helpful link to teach you how to get around that. Would you like some tea?"
TANK Ex Mortis: Of course, when I want to install something on Linux, it says "You can't install that until you install these 50 libraries, update these 3 drives, downgrade this 1 driver, and pick my mom up from the airport."
TANK Ex Mortis: Whereas with Windows, it says "Click the next button over and over again until the program is installed. It will then work perfectly unless it doesn't."
TANK Ex Mortis: Unless it's made by Valve, in which case it says "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE" and blows up your computer. ;_;

#665959 +(344)- [X]

spaceinvader455: heh
spaceinvader455: I saw lake house yesterday
spaceinvader455: and when they first started trading letters
spaceinvader455: (the guy that lives in '04 and the girl that lives in '06)
spaceinvader455: I thought to myself, "Ok, first letter, So, how was star wars episode III?"

#720191 +(983)- [X]

ductape4yoursoul:  the hot Ukranian went to an In Flames concert Sunday and got molested by some chick.
SupremeGeekBeing: ?
SupremeGeekBeing: is that some kind of code
SupremeGeekBeing: the flying bacon lands in moswll park at 5?
ductape4yoursoul: no, dude. The hot ukranian I met in Chicago. She went to an In Flames concert and was molested by some chick
SupremeGeekBeing: oh, the pink elephant runs into a shallow well

#763355 +(361)- [X]

Torodung (31985): You can't write code or design software that will secure "stupid." [..] If those folks were using an abacus, they'd probably get their head stuck in it.

#808383 +(411)- [X]

<jarmund> I've always wanted to have sex while watching midget-porn, just to see if it's humanly possible to have an orgasm while laughing your ass off

#818440 +(2011)- [X]

<Runter> If I ever become ruler of the world
<Runter> I'm going to hold huge "Where's Waldo" contests
<Runter> Dress one guy up as waldo and put him in a crowd of like 1000 people
<Runter> and get people from helicopters to try to find him
<Runter> to win they have to shoot him
<Jay> Why would you have to shoot him?
<Runter> Because I've always wanted to fucking kill waldo. I mean seriously who doesn't fucking hate him?
<Jay> I don't
<Runter> Well then, do you like dress-up?

#954911 +(546)- [X]

<Number6> Ducks have corkscrew shaped penises
* rsynnott hopes the people who made the Flintstones were unaware of this

0.1539 21090 quotes approved; 872 quotes pending
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