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#1018 +(446)- [X]

(SpAc3d) i hate when [movie groups] release shitty quality stuff like TS and Cam's
(SpAc3d) its a fuckin waste of space
(mistical) like Hannibal *upsidedown cam* *real* *subtitled* *in japanesse*

#1379 +(1476)- [X]

<studmuffn> ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
<studmuffn> it was cool. patrick stewart was there
<studmuffn> they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness in the 24th century

#1381 +(304)- [X]

<Durtro> an army of swedish surgeons couldn't make him a girl.

#1565 +(731)- [X]

<metroid23> i ask for whole milk and people look at me like i wanna suck it right off the cow or something

#1673 +(299)- [X]

<LkTrout1> enex's underwear is big enough to fit over Hatter's ego.

#2761 +(277)- [X]

<evenpar123> "I believe" "But how do you know that you exist to believe?" "Becuase I believe I exist to believe"
<evenpar123> and so on
* evenpar123/#sydvoc is hungry, assuming evenpar123 exists

#2857 +(260)- [X]

<zacs> wow
<zacs> my name on slashdot
<zacs> i can retire
<zacs> and live on fame alone
<iddy-h> *nod*

#2930 +(497)- [X]

<Muskratt> How can people like you guys survive infancy without bursting into flames from some major god (I don't care who) 's anger?
<MightyQuinn> easy
<MightyQuinn> we carry fire extinguishers

#3483 +(786)- [X]

<Darksyde> dood you make texas look like a big dildo
<blazemore> i'd rather be a big dildo than a small dildo
<blazemore> especially the kind the secretes fake jizz that tastes like oranges
<Geek-> lol
<Geek-> how would you know about that shit?
* blazemore is away

#4730 +(1148)- [X]

(skankman) oaid, halo is when two gay guys put their dicks in each others mouths, but the rule is it cant touch the lips or tongue or anything. the only thing it can touch if anything is the tonsil, and they both do it at the same time, and they dont have sex until they do it perfect.
(Emo|Cuomo) GROSS SKANKMAN
(Emo|Cuomo) I MEANT THE FUCKING XBOX GAME
(skankman) yeah whatever, you sick fuck.

#6242 +(263)- [X]

<_Bliss_> god hates me so he gave me a vagina

#7318 +(70)- [X]

<dae> "my dixie wrecked" say it slowly now

#7755 +(894)- [X]

<psIRE> I had sex once, very tiring
<Mulder> lol
<Snipe> yeh me too.... oh wait no that was the time i installed linux

#13414 +(244)- [X]

<CheesyPoofs> cheese is good
<CheesyPoofs> I mean "cheese is gouda"
<CheesyPoofs> actually that's not quite true - gouda is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> money is good
<CheesyPoofs> therefore, money is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> which is why it's so good
<sabia> okay whatever you say
<CheesyPoofs> I'm leaving out the technical details

#15177 +(134)- [X]

[Mills] these new headphones of mie with a lead nearly got me in the shit last night, was watching some porn at about 3 am at pretty high volume and I got up and walked away, the speaker crashed down on the floor but thankfully the headphone jack didnt come out :)

#16269 +(735)- [X]

<jasn> dad woke me up like 'your brother cut himself with a knife he's bleeding everywhere i gotta take him to the hospital'
<jasn> im like  'can you get me some mcdonalds breakfast'

#16910 +(423)- [X]

<@Tilt> this is the funniest thing i have ever read in a sources TODO list
<@Tilt> o Learn C

#20973 +(693)- [X]

<Fredo> wanna see something cool?
<Dementio> no, the last time someone said do you wnna see something cool i ended up pregnat

#22540 +(105)- [X]

[ spacefish ] nah, austnet is like.. the s-bend of irc.
[ spacefish ] it catches all teh grime and keeps it in one place.

#34520 +(273)- [X]

<@toe2toe> only time a user has ever cried with me was when she had zonealarm set to ultra-annoy-user-at-every-oppurtunity mode on
<@toe2toe> and basically, her nortons was so locked down
<@toe2toe> everytime she tried to get her mail
<@toe2toe> and our server tried to send it to her
<@toe2toe> she thought she was getting hacked
<@Starfire> the best option i have found in ZA configs is the uninstall one
<@toe2toe> and when i told her she wasnt, she thought that some people are harrasing her, and demanded to know why i refused to call the police about it :>
<@Starfire> because its not your job to call the police
<@Starfire> i would have given her police number
<@Starfire> and told her to follow it up post haste!
<@toe2toe> and say what
<@toe2toe> "hi, im getting hacked on my computer from a guy called "local host"

#36344 +(439)- [X]

<jamesf> go to work, put your jacket over your chair and a cup of coffee next to your keyboard, then go home
<jamesf> everyone will think you're in a meeting
<jamesf> turn up again at 4, do an hour's work and then go home again
<jamesf> no-one will be any the wiser

#37440 +(157)- [X]

<Tiio> Dude, I don't think I've even SEEN 15.6 gigs of pr0n.
<Tiio> I mean
<Tiio> in all my wanking.
<Dogmeat> (which is quite a bit)
<Tiio> well
<Tiio> I don't get to watch much movies so -_-;
<Tiio> usually have to stick to .txts, bleh.

#40511 +(199)- [X]

<rigel> maybe a few centuries from now, year 2k would be remembered solely for the goatse.cx homepage.
<rigel> "the dark rectum dilation century"
<avoozl> rofl
<avoozl> it'll probably be the only thing that survives the nuclear winter

#40750 +(676)- [X]

<yah-yah> what is CAPS ABUSE?
<Nyarlathotep-> half of your question

#41531 +(159)- [X]

<pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 hours to go
<Glitch> lol, of what?
<tharok> u timing your wanking again pb?

#42830 +(230)- [X]

<K`> mithrandi: where's this bash.org ?

#45908 +(551)- [X]

<_skitzo_> i need to start getting morning head
<_skitzo_> anti, want a job?
<+antiroach> ya i want a job
<+antiroach> oh wait

#46449 +(118)- [X]

<generic> but ive decided to switch this lappy to mandrake instead of linux

#50962 +(426)- [X]

<Frosted_Frank> hey does anyone in here know how to get info on people via email addresses?
<Enossel> email them and ask them
<Frosted_Frank> oh, thx

#53587 +(740)- [X]

<BhavFox> FurServ: op me
<FurServ> BhavFox: You are already opped.
<BhavFox> ;O)
<Kas> FurServ: suck me
<Kas> aww
<Hawx> Kas: You already suck.

#81299 +(813)- [X]

<mefod> WHY DOESNT ANYONE BELIEVE ME?! IM IN IRAQ DAMNIT!
<mefod> ooh shit
<mefod> afk, war

#81850 +(149)- [X]

<st1gg0r> they might roll back
<DooMStalK> (12:19:03 AM): Are you making some overt comment about my former occupation?
<st1gg0r> possibly
<DooMStalK> Well then I'm overtly telling you to eat dick

#89143 +(709)- [X]

<Flaze> forum still down?
<Vye-rus> Check yourself
<Vye-rus> We're not slaves
<Flaze> yep
<Flaze> still down
<Vye-rus> haha thanks for checking for me

#98863 +(288)- [X]

<punchcard_w0rk> "fuck with me and I convert your job into a shell script"

#100967 +(456)- [X]

<chesed> I couldn't find the food you like
<chesed> I couldn't find a card
<chesed> So I hope these flowers say it best:
<chesed> Dear Lord you make me hard

#105168 +(189)- [X]

<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious bastard while suing someone else for being called that

#105180 +(428)- [X]

<Eckostyle> If Mexico had a major eathquake, Britain would send 100,000 replacement troopes to control the riots, Brasil would send 100,00 pounds of replacement food, and teh USA would send 100,000 repalcement Mexicans

#115490 +(249)- [X]

<aen> That's weird. I thought someone told me .bins were better than .isos because you can repair them more easily or something, but also that it had compression.
<Gayo> He was a .bin propagandist, tricking you with his honeyed lies.

#144922 +(879)- [X]

<@adsf> nz is good to go to if you from aus cus there dollar is actualy worse then ours
<*@orange1> that's because of all the civil unrest
<*@orange1> orks fighting the horse people and whatnot

#213586 +(1717)- [X]

<BlastuR> i'm new to C++ (and C), and I want to learn C++. I've got Visual C++. It seems to me that a lot of stuff compiles even if you mix C and C++ code.. is there any way I can set the compiler in strict C++ mode, I don't want to learn C/C++ mix mode ;)
<qDotWork> BlastuR: You need a segregating compiler
<qDotWork> I think the KKK has one on their website.
<qDotWork> Also, name your functions things like "NoCHere" and "CGoHome" and "CIsTheImpureRace", to let C know that you'll have none of it around.
<qDotWork> I'm actually working some concentration camps for C right now.
* qDotWork is now known as CppHitler
<kewk> BlastuR, you can't compile only C++, as C and C++ overlap a lot.
<CppHitler> NEIN
<CppHitler> DAS C++ IST DIE ABSCHLIEßENDE LöSUNG
<cynic_X_> HEIL

#396455 +(242)- [X]

<@Amon> I got this spider bite on my ass..
<@Amon> x.x It hurts
<@Xanthros> Well gee whiz. WTF were you doing to the poor spider?

#546383 +(468)- [X]

<Shiv> really, how can you make a "combatting illiteracy" poster anyway?
<Shiv> make it a map to the library?

#595681 +(108)- [X]

[@JigsWithoutWoodstock] Phil: Could you repeat that, I was distracted by a pig flying past my window

#611036 +(550)- [X]

< JaredCE> no, i had an idea for an ajax web2.0 calender that would pull details from flickr and google map
< shiruken> how far did you get?
< JaredCE> ermm
< JaredCE> i installed apache

#676896 +(428)- [X]

<matt1020> is any 1 smart in hear?

#695378 +(561)- [X]

<FyreStorm> 'cute'=fat, 'stud'=small penis, 'kitten'=usually over 50 yrs old, 'sexy'=desperate, 'girl'or'gal'=usually
<FyreStorm> over 40 yrs old, 'cuddly'=exceptionally over-wieght, 'hot'=lousy in bed, 'wet'=incontinent, 'boy'=still a virgin at 30,
<FyreStorm> 'single'=married but horny, 'hard'=on viagra, 'divorced'=will be if his wife finds out

#696187 +(1384)- [X]

<osseh> i have a twin pack of garlic bread in the freezer
<osseh> on the packet it says "contains 18 servings"
<osseh> 18 servings from 2 garlic breads?! what the fuck
<osseh> does it come with a mini jesus inside

#746655 +(1183)- [X]

<StrangelyUnoriginal>So I was at Walmart, being the financial transaction overlord of register 21.
Rite, and this kid walks up, I ring up his items and he says, "So I heard you like mudkips?" so I acted all confused like he expected me to andhe had a little faggoty giggle then he asked me what his total was and I said, "Your total, IT'S OVER NINE THOUSSSSSSAAAAND!" and my manager was like, "lol wtf?" then I grabbed the pricing scanner and crushed it in my hand.

#753830 +(1563)- [X]

<Chipper> Hexidecimal counting systems are awesome!
<Chipper> On a scale from 1 to 10, I give them an E

#902013 +(1210)- [X]

<Jelena> Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

0.1990 21096 quotes approved; 1760 quotes pending
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