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#143 +(1320)- [X]

<`BuM> why is it that, no matter how much you pee into the toilet it never fills up?

#601 +(144)- [X]

<{ReNeGaDe}>  ok why is no one writin back to me; what do i got no fingers to type with and im just imaginin writin all this?

#1125 +(215)- [X]

<`Tag> you have a lot of anger from efnet in you
<`Tag> and it shows

#1729 +(903)- [X]

<blinkchik> can i become a bot and how??

#3630 +(6829)- [X]

<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore:  yeah, that's a bad ass song

#6103 +(237)- [X]

<#hack/|al|> if i wrote a perl program, i wouldnt go telling people about it

#6527 +(156)- [X]

<CitizenC> The "P" in "#P-Raves" stands for "get the fuck out of our channel, bitch!"

#7247 +(184)- [X]

<sylwia> I'm drawing black people
<sylwia> for a poster for my english class
<sylwia> I think I made tham too black
<sylwia> you can't really see their faces

#7765 +(405)- [X]

<n> i bet that game is gonna sell huge
<n> just cause people will be like... ah well its only $20
<faz__> well its fun, they deserve it
<anathema> yeah
<Stonefire[i]> now that n opened his mouth, it's gonna tank
<faz__> haha
<anathema> haha
<koko> bahaha
<Stonefire[i]> ya jinx'd it
<faz__> sam sells 6 copies
<n> oh yeah?
<n> well in that case
<n> i bet stonefire will get laid soon

#8353 +(217)- [X]

<Seren> I've seen so many penises, but I swear, the minute some guy you don't know takes his pants off in a classroom environment and is all happy about it ... you almost shit yourself.
<melusine> Happy happy? O_o As in "Teacher, my still life is moving!" happy? O_o

#8719 +(290)- [X]

<AndrewB> Lonely..
<Linguica> aww
<AndrewB> Come to bed and snuggle with me.
<AndrewB> Er, wrong window.

#8731 +(508)- [X]

<cams> i dont like risking it. you can never tell if that "Lesbian House Party" hardcore porn turns out to be "Donky Anal Rape"
<Meat_PoPs> or vise versa

#10462 +(190)- [X]

<jej> if you dated me, you would've recognized me, and stopped talking to
me by now.

#11110 +(514)- [X]

(Gopher): my brother has bound F7 to say...
* Gopher wanks

#11433 +(161)- [X]

<EC> bikeracer doesn't understand biggles 
<fet> no one does 
<biggles> my hairdresser understands me

#11885 +(192)- [X]

@@ SignOff Jericon: (Installing Hotline 1.8 Be back later)
<xmatt> that requires signing off IRC?
<HHunter> Heh.. if it does, I'm not installing it.

#13443 +(267)- [X]

<[d]-kCmCg-> at least your computer didnt lock up like a nervous virgin on prom night....

#13947 +(158)- [X]

<KidDynamite> my tribes2 updater is out of date and i need to update my updater

#14289 +(176)- [X]

* eMeow-v2 fiddles with his r00t
<Apollo-> Can you fiddle with my r00t too? I like it when people play with my root
<eMeow-v2> Apollo-: you want "girlfriend". STFW.
<Apollo-> haha
<Apollo-> No, if I had a "girlfriend", "wife" would STFW for "unsolvable murder"

#17291 +(1156)- [X]

<Isajeep> in fotr when gandalf first goes to see that other gay wizard what does he first say to him?
<NickBlasta> stfu noob
<Setzer> stfu noob
<CRC> he says: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
<CRC> we should get the script to LOTR and make it l33t
<DC4ever> CRC - and then add subtitles to the avi of it, and rename it "L0rd of teh r1ngz0rs!"
<CRC> legolas: chex0r this out! *stabs orc in eye with arrow* LOL! di3 f00l! *shoots another orc with arrow* pwned!
<[H]Slacker> divx?
<NickBlasta> orc: CHEATER CHEATER WALLHACK!!1
<CRC> (when pippin/merry/whichever the fuck knocks the armor down the well) Gandalf: omg, noob!

#23445 +(177)- [X]

<DSCS_SoCalKicks> click the live365 link
<DSCS_SoCalKicks> ont he bottom it says also try and gives links to more stations
<Niq> I'm not into "clicking links".  It's a gateway drug.

#29261 +(296)- [X]

<+atseleon> like that girl in biology class, the teacher said that there is glucose in sperm, then the girl said, then how come it tastes so salty
<@LillieCharlotte> smart gal

#31155 +(461)- [X]

<Firamas> bash.org is the cure for everything
<Firamas> insomnia
<Firamas> homework
<lvlsixtyclr> sexual needs?
<Firamas> hunger
<Firamas> ok, almost everything
<lvlsixtyclr> come on
<lvlsixtyclr> you cant tell me u dont masturbate to the quotes
<Firamas> i'll admit that i have yet to consider beatin off to it
<lvlsixtyclr> I'm masturbating right now thinking about you masturbating to bash.org

#31632 +(322)- [X]

<CreepingDeath> what was that other guy
<CreepingDeath> during WWII
<CreepingDeath> he was in charge of the concentration camps
<CreepingDeath> argh can't remember his name
<Malek> colonel klink?

#36445 +(886)- [X]

<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!"

#37113 +(101)- [X]

SonOfSam032: midgets get into disney land for free
SonOfSam032: they have to be leashed though

#39617 +(217)- [X]

<DocGonzo> it's a nice world where you can apply for a job and send a resume without getting clothes on :)

#44230 +(148)- [X]

<+Arminas> ffs, i fucking hate auto get sometimes, why ppl feel the need to send me gay porn other stupid shit is beyond me
<+Arminas> it might of been funny like 4months ago but now it pisses me off cause when i host ftp's i share my dcc directory get ppl like "i didn't know you were gay?"

#44543 +(42)- [X]

<spd_dmn> theres a fucking .doc
<spd_dmn> read it?
<WillaCuz> reading is for faggots
<pagan> spoken like a true black man WillaCuz

#45906 +(499)- [X]

<Luigi30> let's play pong
<Luigi30> |   .
<pagefault> pong
<Luigi30> just go like "    .|
<smcn> no
<Luigi30> :(
<VirtuaIce> SORRY THIS IS A SIMULATION AND IS NOT ALLOWED X-O
<Luigi30> ?
<VirtuaIce> (MAME reference)
<Luigi30> oh
<Luigi30> let's play arkanoid then
<Luigi30> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Luigi30> 
<Luigi30> 
<Luigi30>                   .
<Luigi30>                    ______

#50615 +(164)- [X]

<ajpiano|fifa03> THIS WANKS AWFUL
<Jig|werk> prosthetic hand?
<derobrash> heh
<derobrash> lol
<Jig|werk> put it in the microwave and warm it up.

#50941 +(92)- [X]

* nick > Stalkaout is now known as Stalkachu
<@Miz> and where have you been?
<@Cheez> considering hes at university hes probably been out drinking / getting stoned / getting laid
<@Miz> considering its Stalkeh i'd wager not
<@Cheez> LOL

#52478 +(5)- [X]

<Emiko> a if u turn off ur computer and ur dl something in IRC would it still dl or u have to dl it again??

#53585 +(273)- [X]

<Genasirus> #3928 +(8)- [X]
<Genasirus> <illfates> the first time I had an orgasm
<Genasirus> <illfates> i had my dick buried all the way into a stuffed animal
<Genasirus> <illfates> a kangaroo named "Fred"
<jhtm> that so beats my first orgasm story
<jhtm> I was playing with my parents massager
<Genasirus> wtf?
<jhtm> and all of a sudden I passed out
<jhtm> it sucked

#57411 +(281)- [X]

<oblique> i dated a canadian once
<Znutar> Did you get a refund?

#74992 +(225)- [X]

<Corvis> dead girls dont say no
<Pulp|^^> Dead girls don't need to be bought a drink ^^
<Corvis> dead girls dont need valentines day
<Latino|Awayzz> dead girls dont care if you're finished in 12 seconds flat

#80921 +(1810)- [X]

TwilightKnight: all i do is wait for Desert crisis 1.5 and play counter-strike all day
Dr SpaZZo: Heh.
Dr SpaZZo: Which, by definition, means I have more of a life than you
Dr SpaZZo: Pity
TwilightKnight: well i was making out with a girl today
Dr SpaZZo: Liar
Dr SpaZZo: Theres no such thing as a "girl"
TwilightKnight: yes it is true!
TwilightKnight: they arent the tales and ledgends we thought them to be
TwilightKnight: they exist and live on the outside!
TwilightKnight: In the daylight!
Dr SpaZZo: Outside? Daylight? Now you're just making words up.

#113032 +(1084)- [X]

<Inuyasha> Those guys at bash must have some sort of auto-accept system with quotes
<Inuyasha> Either that or the guys that approve them are both racist and blind

#137553 +(321)- [X]

<Atob> The internet's like the Bible but with pictures.
<Atob> And those pictures are of naked ladies.

#162334 +(263)- [X]

(@[I]vo) i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine

#180145 +(780)- [X]

<AL9000> my fatty little brother is pissed b/c I wrote "treadmill" on his Christmas list

#204225 +(306)- [X]

* jane masturbates
< applemacdude> god
< jane> YES!
< jane> found it

#225866 +(242)- [X]

* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters" part of the /. slogan ......
<l_oke> ian: I know one thing
<l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar

#267287 +(928)- [X]

Tester Bob> Maybe Scott will get fired if we send really bad things over his company's network
Tester Bob> Porn
Tester Bob> Fuck
Tester Bob> Vagina
Abdullah> "Bush/Cheney in '04"

#282906 +(108)- [X]

<Kiyone> i know you live in australia and everything, but do you know who vanilla ice is?
<reaper> yes
<reaper> he used to be a jazz musician, and became a pornstar

#450882 +(934)- [X]

<BlackMoon> heh. kinda funny
<BlackMoon> we used to use internet over phone
<BlackMoon> now we use phone over internet
<DooD> IT'S SOVIET RUSSIA!
<DooD> in soviet russia, internet phones you!

#499764 +(997)- [X]

<Tonberry> I hate it when people forward me God crap.
<Arch|Ryuugan> lol
<Tonberry> Like 'God is our savior, why should we only worship him on Sundays! We should worship him at work, at school, during sex, yaddayaddayadda.'
<Arch|Ryuugan> Wait... during sex... do I need to, like... pray?
<Tonberry> Well, I think 'Oh, God' is sufficient.

#599567 +(444)- [X]

<Bran> yesterday at work I asked my boss "What should I use as an icon to show 'loyalty'?"
<Bran> and one of my collegues says with a straight face: "Well, whatever you use, make sure it's not an icon of a woman."

#606023 +(1796)- [X]

<+Radial> i think my mother knows i watch porn
<+Radial> i can't tell...
<Tsukari> Are you a male?
<+Radial> i am
<Tsukari> She knows.

#854608 +(2010)- [X]

sterano: Whats the difference between Raid_0 and Raid_1?
Steve: In Raid_0 the zero stands for how many files you are going to get back if something goes wrong.

0.1519 21065 quotes approved; 936 quotes pending
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