#1727 +(1665)- [X]
<Fly_kEaT> ok so what time now in russia?
<Fly_kEaT> am or pm?
#2065 +(1079)- [X]
<matts> hal check your privates
#2470 +(1752)- [X]
<Fade_> heh, truent, you have a big fat dick up my ass
<Fade_> err your ass
#7598 +(94)- [X]
<Felix1> lud, as a 'gag' somebody set our air con on 44 degrees
<Felix1> brother is on the critical list, We lost Mum on the operating table, Dad never regained consiousness and our dogs corneas melted down her face
#8759 +(337)- [X]
<jamesm> is it worth going to see Moulin Rouge?
<Tippytoes> dont be a fag
<MMouse> i saw it twice. it was excellent
<Tippytoes> i rest my case.
#8834 +(66)- [X]
mike_afe > I just watched Wild Wild West. What a turkey. I chose it over The Water Boy and The Thin Red Line. What a dick. This reminds me of the time that Moretom came back from the shop with an Atari ST under his arm...
#12340 +(239)- [X]
<ScottY> I think you're number 65344 that asks me to beam them up... please stop that, it's annoying!'
<Rain> that's what you get for taking the nick scotty
#13618 +(103)- [X]
<spinner2019> i've got an error msg no such file 'file.mp3'
<Mutt-Away> Spinner: That's because the tidal winds in Africa are continental.
#14162 +(41)- [X]
<Doser> put a little red bull in a saucer for the FUCKING 12 yr old divorcees outside
#14221 +(350)- [X]
<Sierro> I took her out for lunch...
<Sierro> to McDonalds
<Sierro> I feel like a 15 year old
<phantom> hehe, where ya gonna get one at 4am?
#20220 +(226)- [X]
<_ohm> sara, as a girl i have to ask you a serious question
<_ohm> do you know when a guy is producing massive amounts of ass sweat
#27444 +(259)- [X]
<Aximili> WHAT THE DAMN HELL WAS THAT AHHHHHH
<Nicklon> ·Aximili· => puberty
#30514 +(320)- [X]
<Phyresis> I keep getting linked to websites I've seen months ago, for something completely differnet
<Phyresis> it's like it's some sort of web, or a network
<ZS> is it called "the internet"?
#34287 +(254)- [X]
<phyre> my room is hot...
<phyre> I'm sweating like R. Kelly at a girl scout meeting
#34534 +(791)- [X]
<Zer0-kewl> and in network properties i'm static on 192.168.1.30
<Prem0> thats why
<Prem0> your ip is too high
<Prem0> cant go above 255
<Zer0-kewl> too high? wtf?
<Prem0> your at 300
<Prem0> if U wanted 30 it should be 192.168.1.030
<Killeroy> lemme quote that on bash.org :)
<Prem0> remember it adds 0's to the end
<Zer0-kewl> since when?
<Prem0> since forever
<Prem0> thats tcp/ip brother
<Zer0-kewl> if it thought my IP was 300...i doubt i woudl be talking to you hear.
<Prem0> change it to .030 and then try it
<Killeroy> prem0, don't make it worse for you...
#34992 +(49)- [X]
*** weedsmokingpylon has quit IRC (Killed (stats.dal.net (User has been banned from DALnet ([exp/os] Due to abuse from this host, you are no longer welcome on DALnet. See http://kline.dal.net/exploits/akills.htm#os for more information.) [AKILL ID:1032824129K-e])))
*** ChRiS^HoWiE^GoNe is now known as ChRiS^HoWiE
<BurningDog> dalnet 1 , weed 0
#37334 +(255)- [X]
<FairchildDrumr> Damn the internet.
<FairchildDrumr> It gives you easy access to lots of great women that are not easilly accesable.
#40419 +(422)- [X]
<bell-chan> i got the little mermaid on dvd
<bell-chan> dude, if you pause it just right when she just gets her legs
<bell-chan> you see nothing
<bell-chan> the only sad thing about that is i tried
#40716 +(28)- [X]
<Lina> Women are like cars.. if you want optimal performance, you have to warm them up. :P
#41196 +(116)- [X]
* @Boffbowsh is in shit. i was recreating the backup for the 166, and omitted my dad's accounts
<@Boffbowsh> 5 years of stuff
<@Cheez> thats an "oh fuck" moment methinks
<@Cheez> tell him he should keep up to date backups
<@Boffbowsh> That WAS the backup
#43475 +(187)- [X]
<jamao> cat shit on floor today
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> you find out which one? lol
<jamao> twice, either that or each one went once
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> sniff your cats bungholes, i'm sure you'll find out quick lol
<jamao> i tried that already
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> i was joking, but ok haha
#47356 +(1445)- [X]
<BradJ*hnson> OMG, I lost my mouse!
<Dilly4> Your cursor, or your entire mouse?
<BradJ*hnson> Um, both. Isn't the cursor attached to the bottom of the mouse?
<Dilly4> What? Do you run your mouse around on the screen?
<BradJ*hnson> No, on the mouse pad...oh, I see. The cursor is the arrow, right?
<Dilly4> New to computers, eh?
<BradJ*hnson> You wouldn't believe it, but I'm actually really good with computers
Dilly4 doesn't believe it.
<BradJ*hnson> How did you do that? I got my mouse back!
<Dilly4> it typed "/me doesn't believe it"
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wants to make money with computers"
Dilly4 suggests that the best way for you to make money is to sell yours.
GanGreen thinks he'll submit this lameness to Bash.
Dilly4 nods in agreement.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wonders if this is working right on your end. What is Bash?"
<Dilly4> GanG, make sure you blank out his name so his family (and future customers) don't see what a lamer he is.
<GanGreen> NP. How about if I make it "BradJ*hnson"?
Dilly4 laughs his head off.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me goes "Just so long as no one recognizes it...I DO sounds kinda stupid. I'm smrat tho"
Dilly4 can't control his fits of laughter
<BradJ*hnson> smart. you all suck hard.
#48298 +(249)- [X]
<Millenia> Oh. And for everyone who insisted "Dungeons and Dragons" was the worst movie ever?
<Mareg> We were right?
<Millenia> You are right. You are SO right. I wanted to gouge out my own eyes.
#48398 +(108)- [X]
<Ljung> does IRC take scripts?
#49612 +(357)- [X]
< tom> My sister is back... and instead of spending quality time with her family... she's playing Lunar 2!
< ninjamike> and you're on IRC
#50235 +(306)- [X]
<Elpacoloco> Seriously! Your voice is...uhm....
<Elpacoloco> Words fail me, but I'd pay $3.99 a minute for it.
<TheTourist|away> ELp, refering to phone sex is NOT romantic.
#51239 +(394)- [X]
<Jahidi> love is just when two people decide to stalk each other.
#54296 +(398)- [X]
<sora> I don't think goths are evil and satanic, I think they're pitiful and irritating. Like street mimes, only not as much fun to set on fire with kerosene.
#55020 +(222)- [X]
<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching.
#72231 +(669)- [X]
<Dayv> It's amazing how many interesting games come out of Germany that are actually written for adults with IQs above the subnormal range.
<DJTodd> How else are we supposed to train the master race?
<DJTodd> Uh... You didn't hear that.
<DJTodd> I know nothing! NOTHING!
#74063 +(5)- [X]
<xohs-busy> WE WILL TRADE OUR SONS
-Ragga- tr*de is a dirty werd here, leech and b leeched
<xohs-busy> doc-brown, heh, that's an exageration
-Ragga- r*tio is a dirty werd here, leech and b leeched
#75836 +(102)- [X]
(WAREZmunkeY) omg some1 has pushed a condom through our letterbox
(datafreak) used? :P
(WAREZmunkeY) i dunno
(WAREZmunkeY) i havent been to look that close at it
(Noodle[AFK]) well presumably it's unpackaged
(WAREZmunkeY) it is
#96325 +(199)- [X]
<Enygma> I love japanese text without the support for it. I feel like Im reading a bunch of cheat codes.
#105677 +(100)- [X]
<+NoNameAndrew> yeah right, you were rubbing the one eye'd snake to him like I am
#108711 +(888)- [X]
+(norad) if you rearrange the letters in mother in law, you get woman hitler :/
#141226 +(193)- [X]
<Elise> hey do u have the compu wholesale purchase order at all?
<logik> why do u need it
<Elise> cause im attaching the invoice and entering it in myob then i need to do the billing ....
<Elise> why do u ask?
<Elise> have u eaten it or something?
<logik> nah you see
<logik> the thing is
<logik> there was no toilet paper around
#143758 +(562)- [X]
<heroofhyr> Japan, China and South Korea team up to plan an operating system to rival Microsoft Windows.
<heroofhyr> man i can't wait to try Rindows
#164514 +(1046)- [X]
<dnc> yesterday ivana had some friends over, and they were flicking through the tv channels, and accidentally hit the input selector - and got the pc tv out input... and spent like 30 minutes watching me play halo thinking it was a tv show
<dnc> glad i wasnt looking at hardcore pr0n
#202523 +(36)- [X]
<kim> heh... i just got on my gma's aol account... she has an email from her friend w/ the subject of: 7 great positions in bed
<Kirill> are you serious kim?
<Kirill> hahahahha wtf
#213397 +(743)- [X]
<Gizmog> I ever tell you guys about my trip to the beach?
<Gizmog> Long story short: I scored.
<Inferior_Minion> A touchdown????
<Gizmog> Kinda. :P
<Gizmog> She took off her bikini
<Gizmog> And I touched her on down.
<Inferior_Minion> 2 hand touch or full contact
<Gizmog> Let me put it this way:
<Gizmog> I sacked her
<Gizmog> And pretty soon, she was behind the line of scrimmage
<Inferior_Minion> Did she ask for her quarter back?
#330261 +(19128)- [X]
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> never mind
#332611 +(334)- [X]
<DrBoB> sex is so over-rated...
<DrBoB> and i dought it's gonna be much better with someone from the opposite sex.
#333161 +(995)- [X]
<+lisa`> well, sometimes, when the moon is right i like to print out the source code to the Linux kernel, scatter them on the floor, lube myself up and roll around in the printed code.
#450231 +(655)- [X]
<ben in da hood> How do i turn on my mic?
<mike6789> Well I tickle mine, that turns mine on ;-)
<ben in da hood> It still isnt on.
#482170 +(289)- [X]
DragonAtma: malware = spyware that hurt your computer
yayz muffin: ah
DragonAtma: so if you open ie and the homepage was changed to goatse.cx, the file that did it is probably malware
yayz muffin: probably was crashing my browser too
yayz muffin: >_<
DragonAtma: same think if you realize there are bookmarks to pages like "gay anal fisting", "horse rape", and "republican national convention" ;)
#524062 +(2629)- [X]
3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school?
3:GHB> Today is Saturday
3:pixelsoft> It's Friday
GHB left arena
#635060 +(1941)- [X]
<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes?
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE
#680513 +(1383)- [X]
<JohnFlux> There are two kinds of people: 1) those who start arrays with one and 1) those who start them with zero.
#731134 +(236)- [X]
<+Acksaw> how do you get 100 babies in a bucket?
<+Acksaw> with a blender.
<+Acksaw> how do you get them back out?
<+crank> i dunno
<+Acksaw> with doritos
#818068 +(704)- [X]
<Flaim> ok, why the fuck is the disk in a VIRTUAL MACHINE not spinning up?