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#1066 +(805)- [X]

<D1> omg
<D1> christians are knocking at my door
<D1> and they're armed with the holy bible

#1343 +(726)- [X]

(nexxai) Five seconds later, I'm getting the upside of 15Kv across the nipples. (These ambulance guys sure know how to party).

#1407 +(34)- [X]

<tezorian> yeah, im going to get fucked up paintings and shit, its gonna be the coolest room ever !

#3932 +(1147)- [X]

<Detrafilia> One time i was so tired, i had asked 'how are you?' in rpgamer, and then i looked in a diff query, went back to rpgamer, saw the 'how are you?' and i go 'oh fine, just a little sleepy. thanks. You?'

#4424 +(545)- [X]

<amoeba> it's a little known fact that the binary releases aren't actually compiled by anyone, they just mysteriously appear on the FTP site packaged and ready for release.. it's postulated that the Devil himself uses Mozilla, and in return for using it he takes care of the insane build requirements

#11442 +(538)- [X]

<dan> what the hell is a ponzi scheme
<brian-w> where you go into a meeting with a leather jacket and go 'Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!'
<brian-w> and they give you money

#12937 +(284)- [X]

<Dayv> Eric, you wouldn't know bad taste if it came up behind you and licked your asshole with your mother's severed tongue.

#14707 +(217)- [X]

<Tomes> rpenguin is the picture of credibility, you know.
<Tomes> rpenguin is the standard of integrity to whom all others are compared
<Tomes> when i meet a man, i ask, in true socratic method, "is this a greater man, or a lesser man, than rpenguin?"

#16806 +(407)- [X]

<Zephyrr> Nobody should steal my band's name...not that they'd want it...but if they do, I'll tell my mother and she'll do stuff...
<Zephyrr> So there.
<Undine> Fear Zephs mom.
<Undine> She does stuff.

#31318 +(413)- [X]

<@SLing> uhm wow... there's a "Linux and Windows XP" club in my area
<@SLing> isn't that a conflict of interest?
<@SLing> All the meetings would boil down to debates like "I can network my computers automatically with my OS, and it detects everything" "Oh yeah? I can make MY OS purple"

#34429 +(698)- [X]

<Saotome_Ranma> goc what would you say to me if I told you that I did your mom last night?
<godofcows> you have herpes! :)

#35913 +(17)- [X]

<eyesore> Now Link looks like a child molesters poster child
<Crimson_Dynamo> The new game will sell well if its target demographic is catholic preists
<eyesore> lol
<eyesore> ZING!

#39824 +(360)- [X]

<ttyR2> mebe I'll hard wire an external modem to make DTMF tones and hook it to the phone line for those pesky sales calls
<MtDew> just get an air horn
<ttyR2> I happen to have one
<ttyR2> runs off a bottle of CO2 from my paintball gun
<MtDew> my parents used to have a small one sitting next to the phone
<MtDew> any telemarketer got a blast in their ear
<Magus> "Good day, sir, I represent the Hotsy Totsy Aluminum Siding Co., and...." HOOOOONK! "AAAGH!"
<MtDew> exactly
<Magus> nah, telemarketers are fun to play with
<Magus> my favorites are the credit card guys
<Magus> once I let one go thru his whole pitch, he thought he'd made a sale, then I asked
<Magus> "I just got out of prison 2 weeks ago for credit card fraud, will that hurt anything?"
<Magus> *click*

#42283 +(310)- [X]

<draxx> my friend has an mirc script that will delete any channel
<draxx> or server
<draxx> ive been trying to get it
<draxx> from him
<XenoWolf> lol
<XenoWolf> you cant delete channels..
<draxx> oh yah
<draxx> you dont understand
<draxx> this kids a hardcore

#49909 +(143)- [X]

<Amuck50> my buddy shane just started contemplating what the world would be like without boobs
<Amuck50> i think he just scared himself

#52449 +(221)- [X]

<pyre> I need to download more hardware

#58091 +(226)- [X]

<WimpBastard> so tired
<WimpBastard> 3am
<Buchwald> it's only 11am.  you should be wide awake
<WimpBastard> ...
<WimpBastard> wtf
<Buchwald> dude, i live in america.  our time is the correct time.
<Buchwald> therefore, you should be awake
<WimpBastard> >:|

#60124 +(222)- [X]

<froggie> short lines are bad, mmmkay? please add to your short lines, to make them long. like this, y'see? long lines, good. short lines bad. pretty simple. I'm goint to beat you, acidblood. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THE BEACHES!
<froggie> actually, I'll play volleyball with you on the beaches
<froggie> I'll fight you online on IRC and DoD maybe one day. but either way, I'll fight you in a verbose and extended mannor so that I may be one step closer to that almighty long winning line! haha! madman? ME? of course, thankyou.
<acidblood>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Does this count as a long line?
<froggie> no.

#62255 +(183)- [X]

* phieje (~kp12@ Quit (Quit: kersik putih net 1 pc 12)
<+otaku1> that signoff message really makes ya think
<+Dr`Device> Yeah.
<+Dr`Device> It makes me think "I'm sure glad i don't know whatever the fuck language that is".

#71269 +(289)- [X]

<@red_solar> ircN[moo]/boxstats: [uptime: 2w 23h 36m 42s record: 2w 23h 38m 43s]
<@shawn> 12:41AM  up 33 days,  5:21, 1 user, load averages: 0.01, 0.00, 0.00
<@red_solar> Uptime for redsolar-unix.mchsi.com (OpenBSD 3.2): 5:38PM up 26 days, 22:55, 0 users, load averages: 1.07, 1.09, 1.08
<@SQFreak> uptime(win2k): win(1d 22h 53m 17s) serv(21m 14s) today(4h 45m 6s) xirc(30m 1s) best(1d 22h 53m 4s)
< m0use> i think my workstation is up 47 now
<+[nobong]> Linux nebula 2.4.18-14 #1 Wed Sep 4 13:35:50 EDT 2002 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
<+[nobong]>   6:13pm  up 33 days, 20:07,  1 user,  load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
<@shawn> darn [nobong], beat me :P
<@Tecky> stupid fucks ... stop with the my dick is bigger cuz i got a longer uptime bs
<@Tecky> =-]
< m0use> its not about size.. its about how long you keep it up

#75731 +(167)- [X]

<Hoplite^^> no, she is the daughter of my secretary
<Hoplite^^> she is 18
<saiyane> oh my
<saiyane> rather risque
<Hoplite^^> in what way?
<saiyane> well I take it your secretary doesnt know

#76855 +(176)- [X]

<@ShoelessJoe> fuckit, i'm about to go buy a xp upgrade
<@HyBriD-HoNdA> buying microsoft products supports terrisom

#98880 +(349)- [X]

Geeky Weezer Fan: Gay Cruises are for gay people....
onkeybutt87: they are?
onkeybutt87: uh-oh
onkeybutt87: Dad's not going to be happy about that one

#99911 +(886)- [X]

<Moogs> Matrix Reloaded is a very different kind of film from the original, both in style and theme. The first movie posed the question, "What is the nature of reality?" The question for this movie is, "Do French people ever stop talking?" - MacHall
<WrexSoul> Or perhaps, "Why is Colonel Sanders sitting in a room full of TVs?"

#116528 +(938)- [X]

<dw> wtf is bukakke?
<Nightfly> dw: Allow all of us to demonstrate.

#118563 +(124)- [X]

<@herugachan> Abstract art is semi-intellectual masterbation.

#137362 +(305)- [X]

<KrudOnAStick> haha i read a story about a brazilian dude who married a blow up sex doll
<KrudOnAStick> his parents told him to divorce it and he killed them

#147497 +(416)- [X]

<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7 manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'

#161531 +(504)- [X]

<@Kaelic> my arm hurts from bowling
<@Kaelic> you would think it is use to this kind of stress
<@Orca> ...no comment
* @Orca isn't going to take as obvious a shot as that one ;p
<@Kaelic> I'll leave that to be interpreted as each sees fit :)
<@OWK> It's probably used to handling smaller balls.

#179132 +(1902)- [X]

<KevM> quit the farcical shenanigans you duncical misrepresentation of a homo sapien
<andycode> I find your misanthropic antics most ironic in their malevolent disposition.
<andycode> Moreover, the mere implications of your pathetic facade is illigitimate in its duplicitious atrocity.
<KevM> your virulent discourse is quite misguided in it's underhanded attempts to slight me
<Khross> And you're fat.

#238929 +(296)- [X]

hadesup: for a quarter? you capitalist whore.
badgerwithagun: hey, a quarter is a fifth of a dollar!
hadesup: ...
hadesup:um. you mean fourth
badgerwithagun: whatever.

#239005 +(912)- [X]

<Rewt> oooh
<Rewt> panic room is on.
<Rewt> I'd have wireless internet in my panic room
<Rewt> except with my luck, my plea for help would end up posted on bash.org

#244799 +(760)- [X]

<awed> i almost started a cult once
<awed> by accident
<awed> irc is weird like that.

#333424 +(181)- [X]

<kn1ves> How do you think Jesse Jackson would react if he got asked to answer the white courtesy phone?

#387548 +(122)- [X]

crazycougr: saw rick james died?
phaded 001: yup
crazycougr: 'natural causes'
phaded 001: wonder what chappelle is gonna do now
crazycougr: cocaine is natural isnt it?

#389811 +(945)- [X]

<BS>I walk into school today and the girl that sits beside me tells me that she lost 10 pounds from laughing at me.

#397444 +(806)- [X]

<andy> i will commit suicide or die trying

#400761 +(2354)- [X]

<NESS> sup
<blanco> how about you greet me like a white man?
<NESS> sorry

#416173 +(972)- [X]

<Kathryn> y'know, its sad when you have to fake an orgasm while masturbating

#522538 +(1372)- [X]

<minion> what should i get for lunch
<minion> i have $4
<keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker

#525122 +(1746)- [X]

<monarch> the other day i skipped church and went to get something to eat at 7-11
<monarch> i paid with a 10 and recieved $6.66 in change.
<monarch> am i going to hell?
<qbert> almost certainly
<monarch> fuck

#547569 +(3502)- [X]

M8525888: here, you gotta press a and e really fast
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
M8525888: i o u
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae

#625180 +(1329)- [X]

<Bao> A friend from college is now getting her PhD in biomedical engineering, and she has a pet rat she has to experiment on, and she had to castrate it for her next procedure.
<Bao> Apparently the thing wasn't fully under anaesthesia, and when she was shaving it, it ejaculated on her.
<Bao> And the most horrible thing is that she shrugs it off and is like, "Who'd have thought the first handjob I'd ever give would be to a rat?!"

#650161 +(724)- [X]

<+Ethelion> i hate how busses come screaming out of no where..
<+Ethelion> it's weird
<+Ethelion> they're like fucking ninjas
<+FlameDrake> 2 tonnes of moving flureo yellow steel ninjas?
<+Ethelion> yeah

#659231 +(905)- [X]

<Biff> man. 3 bigwigs from the rival company we just bought came here to visit
<Biff> they didn't seem happy AT ALL
<hekman> well they just got owned
<hekman> literally

#692739 +(772)- [X]

<BigNTall> Ohhhh Kay... I'm on some clothing seller forums, and a common theme is how to get a stain out of an otherwise perfect garment. Someone posted a "Guide to removing stains from children's clothing". Possible stains include liquor, wine, and semen

#755062 +(403)- [X]

Zedian: D&D Monopoly
Pregga Zexas: "I land at Wallstreet Avenue and roll a critical hit so all of the orcs in your hotels die."

#873360 +(1431)- [X]

Britt: I do have a boyfriend, his name's Scotty, and I touch him ;)
Frag_Fandango: Dare you to ask him for anal sex with the line 'Ream Me Up, Scotty'

#919561 +(3470)- [X]

A: > Try playing Quake 4 on an Intel Video card. Let us know how you get on.
B: > It looks as good as on an ATI/Nvidia card so far...
B: > Hang on.. frame 2 is coming up.. yup still looks good.

#951043 +(-69)- [X]

< pthreads> dude, I haven't even had a fucking oven for a year                          
< pthreads> we move in 2 weeks to a place that has an oven finally
<@sakuramboo> but, you live in germany
<@sakuramboo> after WW2, ovens are hard to find

0.1507 21064 quotes approved; 411 quotes pending
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