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#223 +(747)- [X]

<[azn]> i am valid victorian

#724 +(110)- [X]

<EFX> at least I'm not black with a huge penis

#1851 +(311)- [X]

<skmt> efnet is to a computer nerd what cigarettes are to a heroin addict.
<Digamy> i don't get it
<skmt> Digamy, if you ever come off of a hard-core drug addiction, you will find yourself addicted to cigarettes instead.
<Digamy> oh
* Digamy adds shooting up to his to-do list

#2517 +(303)- [X]

<hye> sex caffeine and computing power
<tia> hehe
<hye> the trinity

#2922 +(61)- [X]

<Snag> on another note
<Snag> you know any fake tan shit i can buy?
<eldee> fake tan shit?
<eldee> wtf?
<Snag> ya
<Snag> i have supah white arms
<eldee> go to a tanning booth, give the bitch 5 bux and stick your arm in the pipe dude

#3099 +(574)- [X]

<spazzer> i think i'm wearing my mom's pants right now
<spazzer> what the FUCK

#6771 +(211)- [X]

* Fox-20 is down with gcc (yeah you know me)

#7555 +(39)- [X]

[anakin] man i love microsoft visio
[Bayls] yeah, and thanks for answering my question about it earlier. :)
[anakin] what question did you have?
[Bayls] how well does it sniff out your network and give you a diagram with Ipaddresses etc?
[Bayls] is it visio enterprise?
[anakin] not sure, i havent tried it yet
[anakin] na i only have professional
[Bayls] It should say it on the box. if it says "enterprise", it's the enterpr.... ooooh, there IS NO BOX, is there? :)
[anakin] does error checking etc too for ERD, data flow, structure charts, etc too
[Bayls] sensational!
[annie] you have NO idea what he just said, do you bayls? ;)
[anakin] even gives you an output box at the bottom telling you any errors as you go along ... like a compiler .. heh
[Bayls] yeah, he said it's got a spell checker or something in it.

#8349 +(365)- [X]

<Hito> This girl at school asked me a really wierd question today.
<Hito> "What's the best ecperience you've ever had while masturbating? Explain why. After, tell me what the worst experience you've had masturbating is, and explain why."
<Jin|Cool> I got that once as an essay question on my SAT.
<Jin|Cool> Mostly why I got a 1200.

#12151 +(314)- [X]

* @Pretsel wants a little robot which will clean floors and vacumn rooms :/
<Mad-Cow> You can get them
<@Pretsel> Yeah but I'd imagine they'd be expensive :D
<Mad-Cow> It'll cost you a few million but you can get em
<@Pretsel> Woah Woah... I don't want a wife...

#12342 +(235)- [X]

<Mortimer> fine
<Mortimer> i'll take a note of that
<Atob> Unless you're being ironic, then it's fine.
<Atob> But you have to be inside an ironclad and claim sanctuary.
<Mortimer> "i am presently in visual and mental awareness of the aforementioned fact"
<Mortimer> sound good?
<Atob> Sure is.

#14608 +(378)- [X]

<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out of the game I ROCK

#14888 +(1276)- [X]

<TRiP]> so you got a bf?
<wersa666> yeah, you have a gf?
<TRiP]> nope.. still stuck with this crappy TNT2.. i'm planning on buying a GF3 next week though
<wersa666> ok...

#15686 +(43)- [X]

<drGonzo> |     /%      &.&.&|
<drGonzo> | % --    )  .&&&&T|
<drGonzo> |   --       &&&@D.--
<drGonzo> |       ------- -&&&--
* drGonzo problem

#26639 +(-16)- [X]

<gozu> it was an image, and expression, a metaphot

#27289 +(214)- [X]

(timmo) id fucking stab someone if i was in a dorm room
(timmo) and woke up
(timmo) and they were fucking whacking
[Gimdb] i'd finish them off

#31293 +(-11)- [X]

<Bob-Diddy> what they going to do bust in your door and see who your having sex with?
<Jokn> hmm
<PhReE-XEON-> yeah
PhReE-XEON- (breathe@ is now known as PhReE-XEON
<PhReE-XEON> they do
<trife> well i bet if u had a 1ft dick they wouldnt stop u from gay sex if they bust in the door
<trife> just walk up to the cop or whatever and be like hey babe i know joo want it
<trife> man i think of some stupid shit

#33800 +(126)- [X]

<pthree_> oh, my stupid t1 is having issues
* RichiH asks himself if having a private T1 is the heigth of geekdomn, or if it is the ultimate of saying "i got no rl friends"
<Seker> RichiH: It'll be the height of geekdom if you max it out with warez.
<RichiH> Seker: if you max it out with warez, it's a way of saying "i am 13, have no friends, use windows and need a good poke in the eyes. besides, i got no firends, neither rl nor vr"

#36905 +(512)- [X]

* peer stares at CCOutlaw[fagitz]
*** Quits: CCOutlaw[fagitz] (outlawtorn@FFChat-24919.ipt.aol.com) (Connection reset by peer)
<peer> :D

#37138 +(364)- [X]

<darkrift> 10 bucks I'm gonna be the only one wearing hobbit ears and strapped with my ork sword at lord of the rings 2.
<Cano> and u'll get beat down
<darkrift> uhm no
<darkrift> hello
<darkrift> ork detecing sword.

#37334 +(266)- [X]

<FairchildDrumr> Damn the internet.
<FairchildDrumr> It gives you easy access to lots of great women that are not easilly accesable.

#44882 +(452)- [X]

<StorDuff> meatball, we should start a channel for n00bs like us
<Meatball> htf do u make a channel

#49530 +(157)- [X]

<Potrod> you get buffy episodes from newsgroups?
<Killa> newsgroups are like, the primary source for anything big
<Uncle_Tobias> My penis is all over newsgroups

#50833 +(167)- [X]

<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope lol

#60181 +(293)- [X]

<Suave|Away> Oh, and don't DnD tonight.
<cow> dnd
<cow> ?
<cow> oh
<cow> yer
<cow> no way
<cow> !
<funnel|getreddy> dnd?
<Suave|Away> Either Dungeons and Dragons, or Drink n Drive
<Suave|Away> Either way, you're a bloody idiot

#72234 +(510)- [X]

<fiveiron> you porn addicted freaks
<fiveiron> porn rots your mind
<la_haine> course it doesn't
<la_haine> you're thinking of TV
<fiveiron> no, i'm thinking of porn
<fiveiron> no wait...that didnt sound right...

#83142 +(72)- [X]

<H|TM4N> \msg NickOP@austnet.org id rd9alpz%
<H|TM4N> lol
<zAim|trance> lemme try sumthing
* Quits: H|TM4N (Justin@vw1121.netspace.net.au) (Killed (NickOP (Kill requested by zAim|trance)))

#95946 +(402)- [X]

<Toasted> and I just found an unopened box of nerds under my bed while cleaning out my dormroom
<Toasted> I don't know whether to be horrified or ecstatic
<mahnchowder> eat them.  report back if you suffer any ill effects.
<Toasted> already eating

#98343 +(741)- [X]

<kevin> Good Morning, nigga!
<kronix> ...
<Dinyctis> good morning to YOU, niggaaaaaaaaaaa!
<kevin> lmao
<kronix> Dinny is a wigger
*** kronix was kicked by jark (Unallowed word/phrase - wigger [#38492])

#100479 +(222)- [X]

[+miles] okay, two irish guys are walking down this street, right...okay they see this sign that says: "Tree Fellers Wanted" and they go, "oh blast, its a pity theres only the two of us"

#105257 +(59)- [X]

<Nanobot> My school has a zero-tolerence policy for racism
<Nanobot> No niggers allowed

#105350 +(334)- [X]

<dora> I got one of those new penus razors
<rigel> ...
<dora> shit, I meant venus
<dora> BAD typo
<KAb0rN78> p and v are not even next to each other..
<rigel> now we all know what she's thinking about
<dora> :P

#113023 +(1037)- [X]

<`Sonny-Michaels> Oh good lord
<`Sonny-Michaels> As if www.mofo.com wasn't bad enough
<`Sonny-Michaels> You know the company Powergen?
<@Evil-PR-Director> uh oh
<`Sonny-Michaels> I'm told they're starting to move into Italy
<`Sonny-Michaels> Using the suffix Italia tacked onto the corp name
<`Sonny-Michaels> That's wrong in more ways than I want to think about
<@Evil-PR-Director> yeah...
<`Sonny-Michaels> Specially since they spelled it out for the url
<`Sonny-Michaels> http://www.powergenitalia.com/

#147507 +(509)- [X]

<CF> MMORPG players are freaks.
<CF> If I ever have kids, and I catch them doing anything with a computer except for normal stuff like porn and hacking into school to change their grades, I will beat their asses like a red headed step child.

#156815 +(2109)- [X]

(@Impure1NZ): Anyone else notice that 'strap on' spelt backwards is 'no parts'?

#175605 +(347)- [X]

<DB7> Meat_30: Sex change?
<Meat_30> yep
<DB7> Works for me
<DB7> Any hole's a goat
<DB7> errr
<DB7> goal*

#199315 +(615)- [X]

<StarFreeze2> Cyber blackmail artists are shaking down office workers, threatening to delete computer files or install pornographic images on their work PCs unless they pay a ransom, police and security experts said.
<Duffman> lol
<Duffman> first, i'd tell em to trash all the fucking files they want. it's costing my boss money, not me
<Duffman> then i'd tell em to put on all the porn they wanted. i can always use more
<Duffman> gotta have something to do at work
<StarFreeze2> yea lol
<StarFreeze2> "we will put porn on your computer if you don't give us 2k"
<StarFreeze2> response: hurry and send the porn, i am so fucking bored
<StarFreeze2> second response: lesbian plz, if possible

#199421 +(495)- [X]

<tinman> Do you put antlers on your pussy?
<tinman> er
<tinman> that wasn't for this channel

#304811 +(286)- [X]

<mixedknut> drac killed the chats again
<mixedknut> bastard
<Dracon|s> bah
<Dracon|s> I was the only person other than you chatting
<Dracon|s> as if my terrible punning would drive people away
<GOD|away> <---

#309123 +(596)- [X]

<dDG> Wait... what the hell
<dDG> There's this NASCAR all-star thing on
<dDG> and there is rap for background music
<dDG> NASCAR and rap music...
<wc16> rofl
<dDG> The terrorists have won

#342633 +(7898)- [X]

<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit
<Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls
<bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother
<Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!

#403378 +(544)- [X]

<Darkening> something doesn't feel right on my system now i just upgraded my nivida drivers
<Borgs8472> do you sense a disturbance in the force?
<Borgs8472> "theses aren't the driver's you're looking for"
<Darkening> ^geek

#447190 +(1180)- [X]

<f|ywork> 1 of our students has got himself in a spot of bother. He booked out a dv cam and a firewire hard drive from the helpdesk, then videoed some chick giving him head and forgot to delete it from the hd when he returned it
<TBBwork> do u have a copy of this video?
<f|ywork> it's rendering in premiere as we speak

#526888 +(611)- [X]

<Algorithms> I bet you could pay a person from india to act as an IRC bot for you, for less than a shell account to run an eggdrop.

#606897 +(254)- [X]

<Kackao> music sucks
<Kackao> i just listen to hip hop

#656346 +(235)- [X]

nocashvaluedrumz: they need to reinvent the internet
nocashvaluedrumz: so i can enjoy it with both hands

#666516 +(870)- [X]

<godix> Well, I know my NES was picky, if you didn't touch it in the right way it wouldn't let you play anything at all. Kinda like a woman actually...
<Aqua|Editing> I thought it was more like a man, because it wouldn't work unless you blew it.

#693049 +(1332)- [X]

<squipple_> hey!
<squipple_> who's got my name with underscore
<_aa_> !
<squipple_> kick them pls
<squipple_> oh wait, I can..hahaha
<_aa_> I don't get it
* squipple_ was kicked by squipple_ (Kick)
<_aa_> lol
<_aa_> did he just kick himself?
<Znarl> There's a good argument against drinking and IRCing.

#695854 +(1295)- [X]

<fox1023> Anyone know that analogy between baseball and how far you go with a girl?
<missy13> Yea, where like 1st base is kissing etc?
<fox1023> Yea thats the one.
<fox1023> I was wondering. What do you call stealing home?
<missy13> ...
<missy13> Probably rape.

#962213 +(694)- [X]

<Chaosbreaker> "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

0.1522 21090 quotes approved; 1097 quotes pending
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