#56 +(1320)- [X]
<Wind-X> and penis butter and jelly make a good sandwich
#2605 +(3754)- [X]
* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.
#6575 +(267)- [X]
<@_uaioe> BITE THE PILLOW, KID... ITS GOIN' IN DRY!
#6967 +(917)- [X]
<kate> you MALE. always wanting to talk about football instead of my menstrual cycle.
#7192 +(407)- [X]
<gedamo> Some of our customers used to call their computer boxes the "brain" and it led tothem calling up saying things like "My brain isn'tworking"
#7501 +(136)- [X]
<dirtynumbangelboy> SCREW HUMANITY LETS DO MORE NITROUS YAY
#8271 +(1212)- [X]
*** Haggis has quit IRC (Quit: Sometimes I try to masturbate long words into a conversation. Even if I dont know what they mean.)
#8928 +(252)- [X]
<grey`> how much do cheek clenches help ass shape?
<grey`> i need to firm up my ass
<grey`> like i'm always clenching to tunes in winamp, i'd like to think its effective
#9264 +(12)- [X]
[02:21] * ekum is away, sleep [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
[02:21] * ekum is away, work [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
#13401 +(242)- [X]
(tarmac) my nipples are chaffed
(tarmac) from running
(tarmac) with a wet shirt
(tarmac) i sprayed colonge on
#14702 +(254)- [X]
<th0m> i've had cocaine stuck in my ass since then
#15699 +(552)- [X]
<outcaste> Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?>
<brian2> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only deadly disease
#18757 +(152)- [X]
<Ice_raven> um has anyone tried BearShare
<slash> it sounded a bit too faggotilicious for me
<Ice_raven> it is
<slash> okay, that's good.
<slash> no false advertising there!
#24764 +(287)- [X]
* phx just upgraded winrar
<phx> rather, i upgraded to a russian version of winrar
* phx does not speak russian
#24981 +(139)- [X]
<Benco> I'M ALL AnGSTY NOW!
<Benco> DAMN MY SOCIAL LIFE!
<Benco> I'M HAVING WOMEN PROBLEMS!
<Siarin> Benco: Joy to the fucking world!
<zamros> I'M HAVING WOMEN PROBLEMS TOO
<Siarin> Stupid people. =(
<zamros> THE PROBLEM IS NONE OF THEM WILL FUCK ME
#30510 +(-1377)- [X]
<@orion> i just mark down all the good nigger jokes on purpose now
<@orion> so they'll be at the bottom
<@orion> aka, the top nigger jokes
<!scabb> that's where those niggers belong.
<@orion> back of the bus, bottom of the /names list, end of the qdb
<@Sir_Neo> first in line @ kfc
#34718 +(304)- [X]
<Kube> lots of girls like me
#36442 +(246)- [X]
<RollingBrass> hey...the us open is coming to long island
<BADGER> <RollingBrass> You want a U.S. Open?! * Rollingbrass unveils a banner of Goatse Man
<RollingBrass> TigerWoods: Now THAT'S a 19th hole!
<BADGER> RollingBrass: More like a new hazard :P
<BADGER> <Ref> In the Goatse! Shoot from where it lands or mulligan? <Tiger> MULLIGAN!!!!!!!!
#36608 +(168)- [X]
<NapkinEater> I hate when I forget what I was going to do in the time it takes me to move my mouse and click on the IE button.
<NapkinEater> if I was home, I'd just settle for google'ing "<ACTRESS NAME> nude"
<NapkinEater> work sucks
#36921 +(472)- [X]
Finque: i always tell a girl when i cum
Finque: one time i didn't
Finque: let's just say she bites
Finque: she had specifically told me she wasn't going to take it in her mouth
Finque: i was like "yeah right bitch"
Finque: so i cum, she chokes, swallows, smile at me
Finque: and bites
Finque: so i said sorry and that i'd make it up through cunnilingus
Finque: i got her good and horney
Finque: and bit her clit like it was a hot dog
#38573 +(284)- [X]
<Marcus> Heaven has no videogames. I saw for myself. It's just a bunch of old guys in tunics, laughing cause nobody has been admitted for the last three centuries.
#39654 +(525)- [X]
<Khel> you know what rocks, when you have a headache, and you start up icq, and that FUCKING FOGHORN blares in your face
<Khel> Honestly though, what sort of retard makes a program that starts up by blaring a foghorn at you
<DeePer> the foghorn is a sign of like, bon voyuage isn't it?
<Khel> the foghorn is a sign of a big boat sailing through fog
#41779 +(35)- [X]
<[mN]Cracker> cept my smelly grandparents are in the kitchen
<[mN]Cracker> AND THEY SMELL SO BAD
<[mN]Cracker> THEY SMELL LIKE THEY SHOULD BE DEAD ALREADY
#41823 +(-73)- [X]
* CHANFIX (email@example.com) has joined #asker-crew
* services.int sets mode: +o CHANFIX
* CHANFIX was kicked by A-Info (net: #asker-crew is closed)
* A-Info sets mode: +b *!*@services.int
* A-Virus (firstname.lastname@example.org) has left #asker-crew
* A-Virus (email@example.com) has joined #asker-crew
* CHANFIX (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #asker-crew
* services.int sets mode: +o CHANFIX
* CHANFIX sets mode: +o A-Virus
* CHANFIX (email@example.com) has left #asker-crew
#43360 +(115)- [X]
<Cloud> whenever i try to submit my password, it says my pass is already registered
<Cloud> cant find out whats wrong
<Tranks> /msg nickserv idenitfy <password>
<Cloud> it said it isnt registered
<Cloud> although i keep saying register it
<Cloud> brb, lemme restart mirc
* Cloud has quit IRC
* Cloud has joined #radio
<Cloud> it keeps saying my password is incorrect!
<Cloud> hey it worked
<Cloud> kept typing in <> around my password
#46195 +(182)- [X]
<JPMorgan> sup chris
<XulChris> just lovin' my awesome redhat8 os
<dann> what do you usually do under linux?
<XulChris> idle on irc
#46835 +(307)- [X]
<krypt> note to self: never tell a girl she's not tight
<Bigbacon> did you?
<krypt> i told her best friend last night
<Bigbacon> what was her responce?
<krypt> her best friend was like
<krypt> 'she wanted you to think she was a virgin' and i was like 'i never thought she was a virgin' 'she wasn't tight enough'
<krypt> then i was like
<krypt> 'she has small boobs with big nipples too'
<krypt> and her friend was like
<krypt> I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS STUFF
#49355 +(24)- [X]
<HUGE_SUCKER> IT'S PART OF TEH CONSPIRACY HATTER DON'T ASK WE'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU
<HUGE_SUCKER> Is that supposed to be a dick, Timbo? Because I read that (including your nick) as "Timbo Finance Blows Cock"
<TimboFinanceBlows> it would not be far off from teh truth
<Nicodemus> man... if that is supposed to be a dick, timbo needs to see the doctor
<TimboFinanceBlows> finance sucks my left nut
<HUGE_SUCKER> Of course, the fact that I see '<---!!!!!' and read 'cock' means I've been reading bash too much
#54393 +(45)- [X]
<Riku> The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to IRC and teach IRC in return.
#74372 +(500)- [X]
<Apollo-> 12,000 tourists went to Antarctica in 2000
<eclypse> why the hell would you want to go there ;)
<eclypse> "WOW, its insanely cold and very white."
<eclypse> "if you look to your left you see some snow, to the right, some snow, behind us, a bigass piece of ice."
<eclypse> "and if you look around you you'll see several more complete morons who paid about what you did to see this shit"
#85251 +(655)- [X]
<skmt> not really. once i reach level 20 virgin, i get a masturbation skill point.
<PACHUKA> skmt: that is the dorkiest think ever said
#99098 +(930)- [X]
<@somegrrl> i'm 14
<@Blaxthos> somegrrl: will you come help me find my puppy ?
#105842 +(137)- [X]
<@tumult> m what is this piano girls obsession
<@piano_girl_man> tumult cute girls who play the piano
<@tumult> piano_girl_man and what reference are you basing this on
<@Hiryu> elton john
#153226 +(647)- [X]
<Hidden_7> MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER
<Hidden_7> it is an expensive piece of hardware
<Hidden_7> I've poured my heart, my soul, my LIFE into this bitch
<Hidden_7> and it won't fucking give up the goods
<Hidden_7> so fucking like a chick it's not EVEN funny
#162487 +(3367)- [X]
<Ocher> hey guyz
<Ocher> I SUCK DICK FOR COKE
<Ocher> o god...
<Ocher> i think my brother has a wireless kb plugged in
<Ocher> IM A HUGE FAG
<Ocher> he does...
<Ocher> MAKE BONDAGE AND BEASTIALITY NATIONAL PASTTIMES
<Ocher> argh brb
* Ocher is now known as Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz
<Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz> O SHIT HERE HE COMES
#239554 +(327)- [X]
<Asmodean> WTF? I'm watching this guy with a leaf blower, blowing mulch across he parking lot.
<Xuande> Lots of people with names from Three Kingdoms on bash.org
<Asmodean> He blew it all one way
<Asmodean> then walked around, and blew it back in the opposite direction.
<Asmodean> da hell?
<Icchan-san> he's getting paid by the hour
#244140 +(369)- [X]
<Eugene> Packets: Sent = 1000, Received = 455, Lost = 545 (54% loss)
<Eugene> Minimum = 315ms, Maximum = 1127ms, Average = 592ms
<Eugene> geez, I don't even think this even counts as the internet anymore.
<Eugene> I can probably get better responses with two tin cans and a piece of string.
#246829 +(152)- [X]
<Eiko> CyberSitter: The Virus you can BUY!
#255430 +(531)- [X]
<Foobar> livejournal no longer requires referral codes to make a new lj
<Fluster> sweet. now i can bitch about my life without having friends first.
#348697 +(2026)- [X]
CascadeOrca: HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
CascadeOrca: I don't have a real father
CascadeOrca: so you're all my dad today
Sixteen Bit Hero has left the room.
CascadeOrca: damnit, just like my real father
clash103 has left the room.
CascadeOrca: DADDIES! NOOOES!
Wiggidiba has left the room.
#412858 +(93)- [X]
[+tanjo]: i hate the panic after you do a wet fart , the split second where the mind considers if you've followed through or not....
#454512 +(1997)- [X]
<@Matt> 10 things men know about women.....
<@Matt> 10. Women have tits
#489516 +(1419)- [X]
Swatt> wait, whats 2nd base?
Garay> well 1st is making out, 2nd is hand job/fingering, 3rd is oral, and 4th or home is sex...
Swatt> what about 5th?
Garay> oh thats not 5th, thats a foul
#627974 +(1308)- [X]
TheItch: Dude, funniest thing ever!
TheItch: I walk into the bathroom at work, walk up to a urinal, and get ready to... you know.
TheItch: From one of the stalls, I hear a low rumble, which escalates to a groan, and then to a roar.
TheItch: What follows can only be described as the most vile and putrid sounds of human excretion in history. This man apparently pooped out his intestines.
TheItch: Moments later, I hear from the same stall, "Oh god! Someone CALL AN AMBULANCE!"
TheItch: Now, this is an executive restroom at a private bank, and the door has a number lock on it, so it's not some kid trying to be funny. And the man sounded genuinely distressed.
TreesSneezing: lmao! What did you do?
TheItch: Suppressed my laughter as best as I could, zipped up and got the hell out of there.
#639762 +(844)- [X]
<su|school> Last period, we were talking about meth with some public speaker.
<su|school> And I corrected him.
#654066 +(307)- [X]
<Dann> this is so sad...
<Dann> i want to find the "super mario bros movie" on limewire, just for old times' sake... but guess what my first search result is?
<Dann> the 40 year old virgin
#793150 +(127)- [X]
xtreme rocketeer: oh man, what if gangs invented a machine to drive-by for them
xtreme rocketeer: called the handi-cap
#899957 +(210)- [X]
<sparks333> no see, women in engineering are like parking spaces
<sparks333> the good ones are taken and the rest are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there
<pikachu> or handicapped
#954201 +(373)- [X]
<danh> interviewing a fat guy
<danh> do we hire him
<pbuckley> does he have a beard?
<pbuckley> then no
#965350 +(232)- [X]
<AndrewOregon> People debate to win, and they usually resort to dishonesty in doing so. It's not a conversation.
<AndrewOregon> IRC is so cozy because it still hosts conversation, that rare gem online.
<lakembra> get raped fgt