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#1323 +(1166)- [X]

<LkTruth1> hypr is confused in Spanish.

#2175 +(510)- [X]

<boozie> during my nap i farted underneath the blanket and i almost killld myself

#3550 +(54)- [X]

<PowrSlave> dude once i got an altoid stuck up my gf's pussy 
<PowrSlave> and everytime i tried to fish it out with my tongue it went further up.  and she said it burned her hahaa

#3646 +(364)- [X]

<WhitePony> I want to upgrade my t3 connection to a cable modem, where do i download the patch?

#6612 +(111)- [X]

<@meiso> ftp: 80921107 bytes received in 87.26Seconds 927.40Kbytes/sec.
<@meiso> man this modem turbo booster really helps

#7268 +(61)- [X]

( `46and2   ) i've learnt alot about getting a woman off... it's not that hard. i even convinced my friend to show me where the effing g spot is... i tried it on my g/f and all this clear shit came out

#7556 +(178)- [X]

<mosey> for some reason porn never shows up in my "my recent documents" quick launch
<mosey> i hate having to wait for explorer to come up

#10022 +(57)- [X]

<DragonOnna> Roninjoey, Uses of an AOL disk, #68. Earmuffs (glue some fur on one side, then attach a U-shaped piece of bent coathanger to both disks).
<Zibro> DragonOnna, Uses for a shitty script, #58. NOTHING. (ie: no use, so don't use it because it's fucking stupid)

#11183 +(62)- [X]

<Mbeta> if i were going to break up with a girl who i had grown to hate
<Mbeta> i would rub poison ivy in the crotch area of all her panties
<MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> better yet
<MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> herpies
<Mbeta> yea, where am i gonna get herpes?
<chibi> pooty can give you herpes
<Mbeta> everyone already has herpes in NY
<Mbeta> come on now.
<Mbeta> that's like saying
<Mbeta> if i had aids i would run around in africa touching everyone

#12365 +(610)- [X]

* SoulStealer is back -[ auto-away after 60 minutes idle ]- gone 9 hr 24 min 38 s
<SoulStealer> skold
<SoulStealer> Think you should add a global command in Cygnus? /notice $*.net get's annoying.
<SoulStealer> guess not.
*** Parts: SoulStealer (NeonNitrat@user-24-214-140-218.knology.net)
<@skold> uh
<@skold> the guy idles for 9 HOURS and leaves in 10 seconds when i dont answer him

#13634 +(357)- [X]

<me tarzan> someone please tell me the name of disk 2 in the curse
<Huz> Tarzan: "Disk 2". You should be able to find it in the CD case you got when you bought the game. It's quite distinct, being the only other CD in there other than "Disk 1", which is also clearly labelled.

#14100 +(178)- [X]

<mommiebear44> so max....how long have you stopped smoking for?
<|non_smoking_max|> let me see ....... about 1 hour 30 min ...

#14305 +(459)- [X]

PhantomStark> <-- laughing too hard to express it in internet acronyms

#22409 +(1112)- [X]

* TheRiff bricks _404notfound
* _404notfound dodges the brick and throws a ? at TheRiff.
* TheRiff makes a ! barrier
* _404notfound destroys the ! barrier with a &.
* TheRiff traps the & inside a #
* _404notfound summons the % and disperses the #.
* TheRiff opens a @ and sucks in _404notfound and all his weapons
* _404notfound throws down his stupid ASCII symbols and grabs a Glock.

#26208 +(109)- [X]

<kuro> dork? whale penis?
<timmo> we have some in the fridge

#26337 +(563)- [X]

<durt> i don't believe if anything i can't see
<Spooky> Do you believe you were you born, durt?
<durt> yes of course
<Spooky> And yet you've never seen a woman's vagina...
*** Signoff: durt (Quit: Leaving)

#29442 +(1382)- [X]

<Phuser> Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera had a flash...I took 65 pictures of myself making a sandwich...My neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.

#32048 +(296)- [X]

<TC> I have a very bad fear of unknown places
<Nastard> like the congo, or the african deserts, or a vagina...
<TC> I dont fear African Deserts

#36193 +(65)- [X]

<FlatFace> Put it in C:winoot
<SLing> I already have a /winoot/ directory
<FlatFace> !
<FlatFace> SLING USING *NIX!?!?!?!?!
<SLing> Nah
<SLing> It's just so much easier to reach the / than the  :P

#39521 +(83)- [X]

<Robby> i'm saving up to buy ut2003
<Vak> what? people still buy software?

#43936 +(44)- [X]

<DooMBoy> Everyone on my buddy list is at school :(
<schepe> that's pathetic
<schepe> keeping a buddylist
<DooMBoy> Really? What's pathetic about it?
<schepe> it's pathetic that you forget who you friends are unless you write them sown in a list.

#44230 +(148)- [X]

<+Arminas> ffs, i fucking hate auto get sometimes, why ppl feel the need to send me gay porn other stupid shit is beyond me
<+Arminas> it might of been funny like 4months ago but now it pisses me off cause when i host ftp's i share my dcc directory get ppl like "i didn't know you were gay?"

#46737 +(127)- [X]

<Wynn> Hey, my face is my fortune.. and that's why I'm broke.

#53321 +(374)- [X]

<IsamuDyson> i think they need to get out and meet some people
<BloodFromStone> Hey, I won't allow that kind of talk in here.

#62410 +(263)- [X]

[ _Bender_ ] Guys
[ _Bender_ ] I've a copy of Norton AntiVirus 2002...
[ _Bender_ ] Can I still install that this year?

#71269 +(294)- [X]

<@red_solar> ircN[moo]/boxstats: [uptime: 2w 23h 36m 42s record: 2w 23h 38m 43s]
<@shawn> 12:41AM  up 33 days,  5:21, 1 user, load averages: 0.01, 0.00, 0.00
<@red_solar> Uptime for redsolar-unix.mchsi.com (OpenBSD 3.2): 5:38PM up 26 days, 22:55, 0 users, load averages: 1.07, 1.09, 1.08
<@SQFreak> uptime(win2k): win(1d 22h 53m 17s) serv(21m 14s) today(4h 45m 6s) xirc(30m 1s) best(1d 22h 53m 4s)
< m0use> i think my workstation is up 47 now
<+[nobong]> Linux nebula 2.4.18-14 #1 Wed Sep 4 13:35:50 EDT 2002 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
<+[nobong]>   6:13pm  up 33 days, 20:07,  1 user,  load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
<@shawn> darn [nobong], beat me :P
<@Tecky> stupid fucks ... stop with the my dick is bigger cuz i got a longer uptime bs
<@Tecky> =-]
< m0use> its not about size.. its about how long you keep it up

#80511 +(496)- [X]

<zdog> Cuz you're stupid.
<boo> ah, the crux of Internet Debate.

#80703 +(413)- [X]

<Crowbar> yah, if you cut the ass while shaving, you might as well just stick your fingers in and rip it wide open.  at least that way you can claim you were raped
<Crowbar> oh man, i just woke up my wife from laughing
<Knower|> <wife> what's wrong honey?  <crowbar> Oh, haha, just giving the guys some advice on anal tearing.  <wife> oh, alright...just keep it down.  <wife> wait, WHAT?!?!

#83538 +(157)- [X]

<Oli> i havent got my email yet.
<Rossell> Oli: That the police found your gay card?
<Reid> You need a CARD now?
<Reid> Where do I, umm, obtain one?
<Rossell> Parliament

#84699 +(186)- [X]

<Hanh> my mom aided in the development of the korean deathbox
<K> what is that?
<Hanh> Ford Ka
<Hanh> or anything from Daihatsu
<K> gah
<K> i remember that car.. didn't stick around for too long..
<K> your mom is in the auto industry then?
<Hanh> yes
<Hanh> mainly developing backseats
<Hanh> and breaking them in

#104052 +(14212)- [X]

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

#106974 +(414)- [X]

* Wanai slaps AndrewLB around a bit with a large trout
<AndrewLB> ???
<AndrewLB> What did I do?
<Wanai> sorry, just discovering stuff :p
<Wanai> no harm towards you
<AndrewLB> Oh, discovery, eh?
* AndrewLB gets out whip, candles and enema.
<AndrewLB> I've got your discovery right here bitch.

#114202 +(809)- [X]

<typobox43> brb, grabbing a floppy dick

#156875 +(609)- [X]

< jonnyLost> smuggling drugs into Jamaica is like smuggling slimfast into Ethiopia

#189817 +(793)- [X]

Radish Attack: I'm so happy I could shit a kitten

#225840 +(618)- [X]

(SuperMarine): i swear to go
(SuperMarine): d
(SuperMarine): if that dog next door dosnt shut up
(SuperMarine): im going to do something bad
(AfroTrance): like complain over irc

#246123 +(818)- [X]

<Ryft> I made some brownies... want one?
<bnyfoofoo> you baked?
<Ryft> No, are you?

#262325 +(367)- [X]

<Fril> "Flight delayed because psychic passenger had vision of a bomb" - turns out the inflight movie was "Gigli"

#284969 +(792)- [X]

<Bludywar> can ne one get me a cdkey for counter strike
<Bludywar> a working one
<Rhyth> Go and buy a copy of hl?
<Bludywar> I got one
<Bludywar> my boy ate the fucking cd key
<Bludywar> he took the sticker part off and ate it
<Rhyth> :/
<Bludywar> can  you give me the cdkey?
<Bludywar> can ne one give me a cdkey tho
<Bludywar> for counter strike
<Rhyth> Your boy ate it?
<Bludywar> ya
<Rhyth> That's the most absurd excuse for not having a cdkey ever.

#374274 +(346)- [X]

<Jesus> oh mean, my underwear elastic thing just came off
<MoonKatz> haha
<MoonKatz> mine's painted on, no elastic to worry with
<MoonKatz> although, the way the paint is flaking, I've been considering updating to aluminum siding
<Jesus> aluminum siding?
<Jesus> jesus, your underwear is more classy than my home

#376790 +(9716)- [X]

Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

#571826 +(368)- [X]

Annabel0Lee: I saw Jesus in my pop tart this morning.
LUunfortunate: did you eat it?
Annabel0Lee: Yes, is that wrong?
LUunfortunate: You coulda made money off of it
LUunfortunate: and then bought like a bunch of replacement poptarts
Annabel0Lee: Well, I haven't had communion in a while...

#576134 +(44)- [X]

<Frosty> So, howabout Recent Sports Event?  An impressive display of physical acumen, no?
<LOAF> Only an *EVIL* monopoly would buy a license for something!
<LOAF> I have dotcomopoly
<Halman> Wow, are all the squares reposessed?
<LOAF> Most of them no longer exist.
<Halman> Hehehehehehehehe

#708656 +(953)- [X]

<VFR8> My band teacher let me try to learn tuba yesterday in the music room when there was nobody else there
<VFR8> I tried blowing too hard and I passed out X|
<VFR8> He came in at the end of the period and found me unconscious on the floor with the tuba lying next to me
<VFR8> I wish I could have seen the look on his face...

#724976 +(1922)- [X]

<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night

#728958 +(-922)- [X]

<Mulcibre> I just had a case of deja jew
<Mulcibre> I'd swear I've seen this $20 bill somewhere before

#737264 +(65)- [X]

<QuartzImg> damn, unfortunately ill be missing the crab race
<llamamall> do they pick them right off the pubes?
<QuartzImg> ever seen Maryland crabs?
<binrapt> I said do you enjoy the smell of your genitals
<QuartzImg> I cant really sniff them
<QuartzImg> Maryland crabs are about the size of a small cat
<QuartzImg> and bright blue
<QuartzImg> and evil
<llamamall> wow
<llamamall> would suck to have those in your pubes
<QuartzImg> i know
<QuartzImg> they weigh like 3 lbs max
<QuartzImg> that would be a nasty tug

#742454 +(597)- [X]

<Mirconium>Several sequels have been announced for Gears of War
<Mirconium>The new games will include Sprockets of Peace, Pulleys of Neutrality, Fulcrums of Strife, Screws of Fixation, and Wheels of Locomotion.

#863010 +(1057)- [X]

<Ambrosh> as a philosophy major I made sure that a job would be opened for me after college
<Kin68ling> until people realized that they can pump their own gas?

#916740 +(3015)- [X]

<prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"

0.1680 21065 quotes approved; 936 quotes pending
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