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#324 +(179)- [X]

<anihil8r> hmm.. when you were in school did they ever say that you were special?

#392 +(138)- [X]

<FRoGGuM> So where the hell do u get this bot program?

#673 +(976)- [X]

<makeworld> ICQ scared the shit outta me
<makeworld> walked into my pitch dark room and hear a knocking noise, sounded
            like someone knocking on my window
<makeworld> shit

#1602 +(38)- [X]

<Camo> prence: someone at school played a prank on a loser and they fed him like
a whole bottle of viagra by putting it under the cheese of his pizza and then in
the middle of class, his penis exploded and he had to go to the hospital

#1838 +(243)- [X]

<Amanda`> I'm not taking a shower today.
<Amanda`> bastards in class won't know what hit them.
<Guilty> At least take a dip in the swimmin' hole

#2539 +(355)- [X]

(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex

#3169 +(747)- [X]

<myst> of course with all the pro- USA, rah, rah, crap we hear... i probally just ignored it
<Joshua> ah damn, i'm sorry about that
<myst> ah teens and guns. yes i have read a few stories on that topic.
<Joshua> as an american, i'm going to have to appologys
<Joshua> *appologies?
<Joshua> soemthing like that
<Joshua> fuck it
<Joshua> i'm an american
<Joshua> i don't have to spell

#3570 +(1498)- [X]

*** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
<d6|GaiaN> lol

#5376 +(564)- [X]

<]RE[-NarcDog> damn thats a hard on...
<]RE[-NarcDog> one*

#5417 +(945)- [X]

<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm hoping it's a coffee table."

#5718 +(333)- [X]

[OutLore  ] OMFG
[Lord-Data] OutLore: OYFG!

#6155 +(828)- [X]

<Mooglez> the lack of intelligent and cultured converstaion bores me
<Mooglez> laterz bitchez

#7881 +(197)- [X]

<MafiaLeader> The MORE computers does not mean teh big wang
<pk|notbusy> oh but it does, u knoew. Women go wild for a man with more than 5 obsolete Aplles
<pk|notbusy> they think, like "Cool, he must be a AUTHOR or publisher, maybve he'll make me a webasite for all my dog paintings...."

#7908 +(270)- [X]

<@dum|work> he's actually quite likeable in RL
<@dum|work> its just when he gets behind an irc session he becomes Bitter-man
<@dum|work> a strange visitor from another planet, zapping the denizens of IRC with his Bittero rays
<@acme> he's got a Bitter-man cape and tights and everything
<@dum|work> the tights are just a recreational thing

#8351 +(400)- [X]

<LULU-LION> yea i finsd hy school and im going to choleg dome ass

#8565 +(1061)- [X]

<TF_Baxter> fucking plug and play my ass

#11473 +(247)- [X]

<largo`> my client thought an swf extension stood for "single white female"

#14511 +(665)- [X]

(@CitizenC): I'd pay $100 US to shoot a cow with a rocket launcher.

#14530 +(670)- [X]

*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.
<TheRealMatt> no... no you don't

#14901 +(39)- [X]

<drunker> i own 3 vacuums pirates
<drunker> one that cleans the rugs, the other 2 is wife n kid
<[Piratez]> dang watcha been sucking
<drunker> my wallet

#16180 +(361)- [X]

<WSBN-DannyBoy> stfuysmfs
<Cowboy_LapDog> is "sit on my face" part of that?
<Cowboy_LapDog> hmmn
<Tankd> I was tryin to decode that too.
<WSBN-DannyBoy> Monkey is part of it
<Cowboy_LapDog> sit the fuck on my and your faces?
<Cowboy_LapDog> you sick monkey fucks?
<Cowboy_LapDog> sexy monkey fuckers?
<Cowboy_LapDog> wait i have one
<Cowboy_LapDog> "fuck" is a part of it

#16786 +(474)- [X]

<BloodFromStone> I think my bathroom has the perfect geometry, so that no matter where or how something is dropped, it ends up in the toilet.

#17334 +(292)- [X]

<Xetrov`> im gonna go try out this "physical activity" shit i keep hearing about

#33846 +(259)- [X]

Brood: eminem is such a cracker faggot
RokChik7: what'd he do now?
Brood: rap.
RokChik7: lol

#36732 +(238)- [X]

<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a lesbian pornstar most of the time

#37065 +(64)- [X]

<Zug> Veronika: come give me head, plz
<Zug> I'm cute and single.
<Veronika9> Zug: go to hell
<Veronika9> I only give head if there is something in it for me!
<Zug> I'll talk dirty to you while you're doing it.
<Zug> how's that.

#39620 +(694)- [X]

* Takeshi doesn't get the obsession with all the digits of pi
<rabid_si> It's like Mersienne Primes.
<rabid_si> Mathematicians get off on big numbers.
<Takeshi> Oh, so it's mathsturbation?

#42294 +(383)- [X]

Chris: im looking at the stileporn popup
Chris: and this girl looks like my sister =/
Propain: Hrmmm
Propain: Bet yer beating off to it right now
Chris: yeah =/
Chris: well, its not REALLY her
Propain: lol

#42660 +(131)- [X]

* TRIPtych2 realizes that danno must be drunk
<danno> I don't drink thank you very much.
<danno> :/
<TRIPtych2> shit, i was hoping it was just the alcohol talking and not you
<TRIPtych2> :/
<danno> I'll take that as an insult, kthx

#44718 +(335)- [X]

<Gothmog> "I'm not gay but my gf is" <-- I'd pay good money for a shirt with that on it
<Wynn> lol...
<Wynn> Hrmm... five dollah for iron transfer..
<Gothmog> haha
<Gothmog> $15 for a white shirt
<Gothmog> getting beaten up by a butch lesbian in the union centre: priceless

#44923 +(245)- [X]

<sm4k> i wish you could record dreams
<sm4k> i'd have the best porn

#50272 +(90)- [X]

<Fabio> wooo 47.5$/g for international data from feb next year.....
<Riqizeins_Aggilus> w00t
<Fabio> and they are complaining that mp3 and dvd rips cost the movie industry soo much each year, then they go and do a nice thing like make our downloads cheaper...
<Fabio> i love the way this world works
<Riqizeins_Aggilus> lol

#51990 +(129)- [X]

< gimbgoth> Fatal-Err: yeah, that's a bummer huh
< Fatal-Err> bummer? what means bummer?
<+insight> damn
<+Moak> it's fuck in the "okay-to-say-at-mom's-table" version

#52000 +(216)- [X]

<_pLaGueD_> do you know a cheat for invincibility?
<Dead_One> yeah
<_pLaGueD_> how?
<Dead_One> type bind "mouse1" "kill"
<Dead_One> it blows up what ever you are looking at

#54193 +(378)- [X]

<CowboyNeal> I got email once from someone who said that /. was "tryin to keep a nigga down"
<CowboyNeal> I told him I didn't appreciate him using that term to refer to our people
<CowboyNeal> race card played and redealt, muhahaha

#76335 +(881)- [X]

<trivy>  019.168. Acronym Soup: DAP ?
<trivy>  1st Hint: ******* ******* ********    BONUS Question Value : 55000 Points
<trivy>  2nd Hint: par**** ******* ********   46.7 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
<tobrie> ...
<tobrie> thats not right
<abigale> hmm
<trivy>  3rd Hint: pare*** a*ai*** ****e*ia   23.3 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
<Halffast> maybe it's foreign
<trivy>  Times up!  The answer was ->  parents against dyslexia  <-

#76352 +(21)- [X]

<merci`> trance would sound ok intermixed with some metal

#81929 +(460)- [X]

<U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love meh gf
<U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love saying that i have a gf
<ViPeR`> i have a gf too :D
<ViPeR`> i love her too :)
<U-571[ChaosFilms]> my gf is a real person alba, not some piece of hardware thats shocks the shit out of your dick when it gives you head
<[AoS]Albatros> Nice idea
<[AoS]Albatros> brb

#95696 +(223)- [X]

<DragonBlaze> I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I can beat them - and feel good about it.

#100373 +(178)- [X]

* norn changes topic to 'scorp on marriage: [06:08] <Scorpy> It's like free falling off a cliff, it's fun and exciting for a while and then you hit the ground and die or break most of your bones in your body.'

#113200 +(636)- [X]

<Sketchee> I'm searching for porn and see one "Russian soldier"
<Sketchee> ... it wasn't porn!
<Grifter> o..kay
<Grifter> In Soviet Russia, the porn finds YOU!
<Sketchee> It was faces of death
<Grifter> What was it?
<Sketchee> The guy was being held to the ground
<Sketchee> And then they spliced his throat open
<Sketchee> And stuff was poring out
<Grifter> hm
<Sketchee> And there was screaming but most of that was from me

#117711 +(782)- [X]

<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> im from uganda
<@cylyk> interesting
<@cylyk> i'm canadian!
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> actually im not from uganda
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> where is canada?
<@swolf> its an american expansion pack

#236401 +(494)- [X]

<the_stick> I finally managed to get rid of Linux
<the_stick> Unfortunately I got rid of windows and all my data in the process
<the_stick> guess it didnt want to go down without a fight

#255660 +(2028)- [X]

<ColonelCoroner> Nah, this one's good.  Alright, so it was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died.  The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
<ColonelCoroner> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!  Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
<ColonelCoroner> The Angel considers this, and let's him in cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked the same question.  So the dude replies, "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard, and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
<Piro-nuts> rofl...
<ColonelCoroner> So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up, and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he died.  So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in this refrigerator right..."

#329542 +(1946)- [X]

<`Neonjoe`> http://www.weatherunderground.com/
<`Neonjoe`> hardcore
<vigz0r> its too hard to be normal weather
<vigz0r> they had to go UNDERGROUND
<cooter> dude they tell u the independant weather, not the fuckin main stream sellout bullshit weather

#667770 +(2795)- [X]

(sean__) i want to call you with my cell phone whats your #
(@Pain`) (911)-323-4155
(sean__) dude you made me call the cops what the fuck

#705361 +(3067)- [X]

<Delanushorse> Dude, I was eating a chocolate bar in my kitchen the other day,
when my mom walks in
<Delanushorse> I was like "it's like an orgasm in my mouth" and my mom says "oh, believe
me, you DON'T want to know what that tastes like".
<Delanushorse> I guess she realized what she said, because she walked out really quickly.
<Delanushorse> :(

#728751 +(3336)- [X]

<ehFk> so today in class Mr. Frank was like "Guys, turn to page 404...."
<ehFk> me being a smartass say "Sir.... I can't find it"
<ehFk> "Michael, It is page 404"
<ehFk> "SIR! I CAN'T FIND IT!"
<ehFk> I spent the next two minutes explaining  to my class what 404 meant
<ehFk> and they all looked at me like I was the biggest fucking nerd EVER
<TheTik> wow... speechless.

#910098 +(738)- [X]

<Pahricida> and I never want to get rickrolled again by my alarm clock
<Linds-inClass> ROFL
<Linds-inClass> radio clock?
<Pahricida> yeah
<Linds-inClass> hahaha
<Pahricida> it woke me up with a rickroll
<Linds-inClass> that is pure awesome
<Linds-inClass> XD
<Pahricida> :S
<Pahricida> not if it happens to you
<Pahricida> you're like
<Pahricida> ztZZzzZzz
<Pahricida> "AH SHUT THE FUCK UP"

#937945 +(863)- [X]

Yarrow: Ok, this is weird. My sim brought a friend home from work. They turned out to be very compatible, and are now making out...
Prince_Herb: What's weird about that?
Yarrow: They're still wearing their work outfits and are llama mascots for the local sport team.

0.1719 21057 quotes approved; 2117 quotes pending
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