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#890 +(356)- [X]

<EFX> I'm sick of people bashing kiddie porn

#3045 +(668)- [X]

*** beltic has joined #html
<beltic> hey folks..
<beltic> anyone know of a good php chan?
<myn> #php
<beltic> thanks.
*** beltic has left #html

#4644 +(266)- [X]

<Byn> What's the difference between cows and the guys on this floor?
<Byn> The cows don't jack off in our showers.

#5580 +(295)- [X]

<blitzoid> It's got a thousand people saying that you CANNOT live without a "ULTRA RARE FOIL CARD MTG SUPER GOLEM ORC MONSTER FLOWER" card. I don't even like MTG, and these fucks are saying that without these cards my colon will fuse shut and my eyes will melt and drain down my face.

#6387 +(567)- [X]

<yabba> I fucked a homeless man today
<xsneakerx> was he cute?
<yabba> no.. but he had no shoes... and his feet were clean.
<yabba> I think he may have been jesus.

#7159 +(59)- [X]

<b|aze> i wanked my dog once
<b|aze> haha
<b|aze> i was so pissed

#7831 +(401)- [X]

<Oberon-> So does anyone have any projection on how cheap Pentium III
chips are going to get in the next few weeks?
<TeeCee> Cheep enough to be able to use them for floor tiles.  :)
<Oberon-> TeeCee: Wow, cool thought!  Massively parallel floor tiles -
a kitchen floor you can count on!

#8857 +(247)- [X]

<aqela> YES!
ùíù mode/#mandrake [+v nomercy] by level
<aqela> my linux came
<aqela> yes!
<[Mosher]> did yah get any on you ?

#14690 +(827)- [X]

Zedd: i fucking hate kids.
IronHelix: They won't shut up. Ever.
Zedd: Fucking annoying brats.  They serve no practical purpose other than taking up valuable resources.
IronHelix: They scream when they're happy. They scream when they're scared. They scream when you toss them in the garbage disposal. It never ends!

#15415 +(193)- [X]

<Helios> Guess what I've got in my hand RIGHT NOW
<niff|n> "his penis"
* anavrinny blinks
<anavrinny> tetris? :P
<Helios> and my penis
<Helios> I am rubbing it against the tetris
<niff|n> lucky you rin!
<curious> He won't say whether he's a four-square long man or a _|_ shaped one.
<Helios> ____|

#16818 +(89)- [X]

<Nago> hmm... my coke tastes a bit like flesh...

#17975 +(45)- [X]

A_Dab_of_Drunkey : so the lesson learned from that is if i hit someone with something, say....my dick, theyd blow it? watch out olsen twins!

#22170 +(234)- [X]

o0zeman: brb, need fluids.
haq: coincidentally, I have to pee.
haq: let's get together and have a double-blind mountain dew taste test
o0zeman: haha

#23190 +(530)- [X]

<|fS|Solaris> oh man...i gotta get some viagra darts
<|fS|Solaris> going around shooting people with viagra
<|fS|Solaris> don't like a teacher?
<|fS|Solaris> see how everyone else likes him when he's got wood
<|fS|Solaris> is there a woman that you think is a man?
<|fS|Solaris> you can find out!

#27406 +(229)- [X]

* ashie is already starting to miss senior year of high school
<ashie> i cut school so much, i'd end up coming in on holidays, not knowing there was no school

#28978 +(26)- [X]

<GRiPEX> why am i getting packeted from ACA2CA99.ipt.aol.com
<GRiPEX> its killing my linux machine

#29247 +(358)- [X]

<dingo> did you hear the polish government bought 5000 septic tanks?
<twolovvers> what in the hell for?
<twolovvers> well, as soon as they figure out how to drive them, they're going to invade germany.
<twolovvers> huh?
<twolovvers> I'm very naive, and I pay no attention to world news
<twolovvers> so if your bullshitting me I havn't a clue
<dingo> septic tanks....drive them...going to invade...
<dingo> umm...
<dingo> you dye your hair blonde lately?
<twolovvers> no it's dark brown with a hint of red
<twolovvers> septic tanks aren't meant to be driven
<dingo> ...
<twolovvers> so your making a polish joke to mock them?
<dingo> i think they're mocking themselves at this point.

#33119 +(187)- [X]

<Desus> I'll just stick with my orginal plan for Nelly in the left channel and lil romeo in the right channel, and my voice panning back and forth going "this is not hip-hop"

#34551 +(36)- [X]

<Averox> and I'm about to shove my fist through someone's head. Begins with an "L" and ends with a "ordship"

#40815 +(903)- [X]

<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?

#44999 +(347)- [X]

<HSOK> my dad just came up stairs, he said i was playing my music too loud
<HSOK> im using headphones

#45927 +(474)- [X]

<009> no... i mean, what is the ascii value of the number 10??
<009> like for space its 32
<009> for l its 76
<poo_al> yes i know what you mean
<009> therefore, what's for the number 10???
<poo_al> 10 is a line feed
<009> I DON'T MEAN WHAT WILL GIVE ME FOR THE VALUE OF 10...
<poo_al> then what do you mean?
<009> I WANT THE ASCII VALUE WHICH WILL GIVE ME A NUMBER 10

#46648 +(95)- [X]

<czechreck> Hey.. I was totally shit faced, I could have impreagnated
          my dog and not known untill I got an ugly litter

#49957 +(161)- [X]

<Zer0th> You know you irc too much, when you don't have to read bash.org anymore, cause you allready know all the quotes...

#78690 +(271)- [X]

<HOT_SAUCE> generals?
<HOT_SAUCE> yeah i have it
<HOT_SAUCE> i dunno if generals is DX9
<HOT_SAUCE> but somehow, turning up EVERYTHING to super-high detail makes my game run faster than putting it on just high/medium
<HOT_SAUCE> i think my video card is autistic
<HOT_SAUCE> like that kid from mercury rising

#81759 +(178)- [X]

-usagi- attacking asians doesn't bother me tubby
-Seethroc- Calling me tubby doesn't bother me either, Mr. Drives-girls-to-being-dykes.
-usagi- At least I can get girls in my area code
-Seethroc- Yeah, at least you have that. Cling to it like a motherfucker.
-usagi- Oh, I will.

#98043 +(210)- [X]

<Murr> DrForr, presumably the tank crew *knew* how to swim, but not how to escape from a tank with open hatch that had turned on its roof before sinking.
<DrForr> The tank flipped over -then- sank? Now that's rich.
<arkuat> what is this about?  cisco is building tanks now?
<Winkola> arkuat: If they do, you can count on a lot of drowned newbie net admins.
<Winkola> "To report a drowning emergency, press 1, and hold for 27 minutes."

#98059 +(234)- [X]

<Innocent_ASK> Spike from Buffy is my ideal man!
<BishiGartt> he's the male version of Cher
<BishiLatino> only with less penis and more makeup

#101342 +(135)- [X]

<Ck3> im still laughing:>> i mean its like you ate someth bad and im trying to tell you but im laughing so hard i cant tell you, and i look at you eat it and think that it rolled in the bong water and im dying of laughter and you're like enjoying the chocolate so much:>>
<antishok> HOLY FUCKGIN SHIT
<antishok> U MOTHER FUCKER
<antishok> U DIDNT TELL ME IT ROLLED IN BONG WATER YESTERDAY

#103126 +(335)- [X]

«BoneyCork» ok heres a foolproof plan to get a girl
«BoneyCork» rummage around for 5 minutes, turn to a girl, smile and say" excuse me, have you got a pen i can borrow?"
«Dilbert|Simpsons» or pull out your penis and say "i'm horny bitch, suck my cock"
«_404NotFound» ha
«_404NotFound» ahh.. the direct approach
«BoneyCork» ive never tried that one
«BoneyCork» maybe i should sometime
«Dilbert|Simpsons» yeah
«Dilbert|Simpsons» i've done it millions of times
«Dilbert|Simpsons» its bound to work sooner or later

#103577 +(477)- [X]

<NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED.
<sheeps> it got lucky ay?
<NMO> Yeah, my subwoofer is such a fucking slut.

#115606 +(314)- [X]

<LaaG> i wonder if sponge bob has a square dick

#126428 +(1149)- [X]

<ZiggyPopFoo> does anyone know how to install OpenBSD i hav ti on disk and i cna load it and everyhtin but i dunno how to install it properly without wiping over windows, plz help lz?
<notick> buy a unix help manual.
<ZiggyPopFoo> i dont have unix in have openbsd u fucking def bastard.
<notick> oh, my bad! (idiot)
*ZiggyPopFoo forgives notick
<ZiggyPopFoo> dont worry i have had nowledge about openbsd for yers its just open bsd is the hardest one of them all, ull learn as mich about as i know some day.
<notick> Shower me with your god-like wisdom, ZPF
<ZiggyPopFoo> wisdom??? I HAVE OPENBSD!!!!

#136899 +(540)- [X]

<Ross> What are they naming the bastard child?
<Tiffany> she wants to call the baby Rochel if it's a girl
<Ross> hooker name
<Tiffany> and they will probably name it Vampire Hunter D if it's a boy
<Ross> I'd name my kid something totally badass, regardless of the sex
<Ross> Like
<Ross> Tyranocore
<Ross> Or Vader

#138378 +(641)- [X]

<omega> i have a question.
<omega> is your community THAT small that you're so bored and lifeless that you need to spam communities that are 20x bigger?
<FFk> how about i answer your question, with another question.
<FFk> Have you ever seen a naked man ride a horse?

#217067 +(446)- [X]

<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> aw shit.
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> i was deleteing some files
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and i sneezed
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and deleted an entire tree

#255785 +(473)- [X]

<Salec> how would you go by changing the look of a checkbox in flash?
<SHiZNiT> add a moustache

#396417 +(345)- [X]

<ronnie> i remember the first time i made love it was dark, cold and i was all by myself
<ronnie> bah wrong window damnit
<ronnie> ignore that

#414589 +(2820)- [X]

queenren24: i need your advice
queenren24: cause you're a guy and all
MrFluffyPants26: that I am
queenren24: what would you, as a guy, rather have for your birthday or christmas: a video game or that axe stuff that smells SOOO good?
MrFluffyPants26: Axe DOES smell good...
MrFluffyPants26: what video game?
queenren24: rome: total war
MrFluffyPants26: hm...
MrFluffyPants26: probably the game
MrFluffyPants26: but give him sexual favors too
MrFluffyPants26: can't go wrong with that
queenren24: :O
MrFluffyPants26: precisely

#423623 +(-18)- [X]

<Advocate> n00bface, in other words, die a virgin?
<n00bface> id rather just think of hot 50 year old fat virgin bosses
<n00bface> yes, i said hot fat.
<Advocate> ......................
<Advocate> Chubbychaser
<n00bface> at least i can catch them
<Fubar\anime> rofl
<Advocate> ...
<Advocate> rofl

#491216 +(1185)- [X]

<TFH> I'm going to start a band called Dial Up, and we are only going to play slow songs.

#620397 +(2229)- [X]

[Sativa] My sister earlier, got pulled over by a cop
[Sativa] He said 'Can I see your licence'
[Sativa] And she gave him her credit card on accident
[Sativa] And he is like 'I only accept cash'

#643595 +(125)- [X]

The_Dv8or: damnit
The_Dv8or: I was in my Jersey office today, waiting for a file to download
The_Dv8or: theyre separate from my company domain... I was bored, and I know they dont monitor Web surfing, and I was on my personal laptop, so I started surfing porn
The_Dv8or: then I just realized.... I had my corporate domain VPN connected the whole time

#653295 +(813)- [X]

<lostmx89> ok i like this torrent thing but when you turn off your computer how do you make sure it is still downlowding

#668060 +(2857)- [X]

kixor: well, how are you going to get around the north american ip ban?
Kovia: duh, last i checked i live in texas
Kovia: and texas is south america
Kovia: way to go, idiot

#709158 +(212)- [X]

<Mrod> i earned 1 point of gay for reading a guy's blog btw
<BL> omg you have the high score!
<BL> please enter your initials

#746742 +(1435)- [X]

<irzyxel> RANDY !
<irzyxel> long time no see !
<irzyxel> hows the kids
<Randy`> still in my testicles, thankfully

#759242 +(62)- [X]

< xxxt> Hi, how do I join this IRC takeover group? CHANFIX has mad skills
< xxxt> i dont even know how he does it
< xxxt> ;-)

#813269 +(1318)- [X]

<lordpie> Life sucks so much right now. It seems I'm spending all of it doing math.
<Rosti_LFC> You are "Math Boy"
<Rosti_LFC> Doer of math
<Rosti_LFC> Unable to integrate with society. Only with functions of x

#862002 +(1196)- [X]

JBdarnet: I've been told I'm not a bad looking guy here, which is a red-light to hear from someone else in the Navy.

0.1682 21096 quotes approved; 1511 quotes pending
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