#659 +(106)- [X]
<imminent> clean keyboard
<edible> you desemenized it?
<edible> let some cum hungry slut lick the shit out of your keyboard?
#751 +(1066)- [X]
[reidman ) why is there an ad for Windows Media Player on the Apple Quicktime site??
[|Dan| ) god only knows why
[|Dan| ) and he's laughing
#1267 +(548)- [X]
uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know, it is for a good cause
#1585 +(2672)- [X]
<vortex502> thought i had the calculator prog. open
#2268 +(615)- [X]
<ScratGOD> dude some guy was fucking me in the ass last night and reached around and grabbed my cock. I got up and said "what the fuck, do you think im gay or something?"
#2694 +(320)- [X]
(drmatitis) ya, i've graduated from the rockstar mullet to the NASCAR mullet
#2987 +(229)- [X]
(Matt^^^) fenrir's gf is a quad processor solaris box
#3762 +(65)- [X]
<[ric]> god, damnit... wished I had never started on that gothornot.com ... I'll never get any work done now.
#4871 +(360)- [X]
<reuben> my dad claims that he got his first piece of ass from a cow.
<reuben> i had a great upbringing
#6326 +(371)- [X]
[during the Olympics]
ted: everytime i load my yahoo it seems the US has three more medals
craig: Stop reloading then!!! Canada has to catch up
#7724 +(114)- [X]
<ChRIs_84> what up people...i just got ps2 today, i wanna know how to make games...is itthe same way as dc games?
<Turing1> yuo hook up your PS 2 to a Car Battery with jumper cables, then pop in thegame turn the unit on and you'll have the game play evperience of your life...or death
#11485 +(308)- [X]
<jre> I know how to end racism. It involves a lot of fucking.
<egg> 1st ANNUAL ORGY TO END RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
<Idiotsavant> Usher in the vaunted age of syphilis
#11701 +(569)- [X]
<Lt Hawkins> someone from 127.0.0.1 keeps trying to hack me!
<Podex> You should send them a virus to destroy their computer!!!!!!
#13729 +(123)- [X]
<Sumez> Echythus is just a weak wizard. He doesn't want to retake the world.
<Sumez> He doesn't even have the power to enslave all humans.
<Twilo> Hitler didn't have magice powers but he took Poland.
#14901 +(45)- [X]
<drunker> i own 3 vacuums pirates
<drunker> one that cleans the rugs, the other 2 is wife n kid
<[Piratez]> dang watcha been sucking
<drunker> my wallet
#16557 +(114)- [X]
<Roberto> My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
#16780 +(566)- [X]
<Slime> Whenever hot chicks come up to me I always end up, like, vomitting everywhere and somehow my pants fall down, and then someone has a black eye, and everything goes wrong
#16963 +(312)- [X]
<Evilmonkey> I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS MY MOM NOT MY DAD..
<Evilmonkey> i wouldnt dream about my dad.. im not gay.. er.. shit.
#17389 +(73)- [X]
<CardboardArmor> The Great Unclean One will get around to your sheet when he isn't busy. Or masturbating. Whatever comes first.
#26234 +(446)- [X]
<Camus> my dad has a spiked collar..
#35944 +(152)- [X]
<MyTh`snoogans> i told one of my teachers one time to stfu.. i said the letters.. he didnt know what it meant
#36554 +(21)- [X]
<smarti> im 18m from sydney
<smarti> any one to chat
<smarti> msg me
<Beerman> as opposed to sydney new zealand
#37995 +(213)- [X]
<Ouroboros> Bandwidth is my antidrug.
#38725 +(312)- [X]
<CLIP3r> PLease can anybody help me how can I unpack this? mysql-3.23.52-pc-linux-gnu-i686.tar.gz
<stuu> CLIP3r: tar only works on versions of mysql earlier than 2.01.15 i think theres another command though, i'm not sure
<Apollo-> stuu: So, tar doesn't work on any tar files that have mysql in the filename?
<stuu> Apollo-: as long as the version number isn't higher than what i speacified it should be fine
<Apollo-> stuu: I see
<Apollo-> stuu: DO you have clue why tar wouldn't untar a file called mysql-3.23.52-pc-linux-gnu-i686.tar.gz? what if I just named the file this and it was really something else?
<stuu> Apollo-: it examines the binary information stored in the files boot sector
<Apollo-> stuu: the tar file has a boot sector?
<Apollo-> stuu: So, I can boot to it?
<stuu> Apollo-: oh yeah, well no tar uses it to boot
<Apollo-> stuu: Wow...you're full of knowledge, I had not clue tar had to go through a boot process to be able to work
<stuu> Apollo-: oh yeah, thats just the start
#40461 +(178)- [X]
<CY666> Yeah, I sticked multiple things in my ass in my life.
<CY666> I even went to look for a virbrator in my GF's stuff once, since I was somehow convinced that she had one. :|
<BUBA_kiNG> fuck.. i never gotto try out a vibrator
<CY666> Me neither, because she didn't posses one.
<CY666> I dried a force-feedback psx controller though.
<CY666> Kind of hard to do...
<CY666> You had to summon those Guardian Forces in FFVIII without the view on your controller, holding one side of the thing firmly, and laying in a weird position on your chair.
<CY666> Didn't give me much satisfaction.
#44862 +(286)- [X]
<nem0> you gotta pee on jellyfish stings to make it better
<nem0> wonder if that'd work on Rey's foot?
<REY> tried it.
<boorman> i tend to just pee on people on the OFF CHANCE that theyve got a jelyfish sting. One day, ill save a life doin that
#46024 +(-48)- [X]
<zero|b5> you know those pimples you get three inches inside your rectum that itch and you have to reach in and scratch them out? thats what you are.
<loretian> Your know the puss that comes out when you pop those pimples? That's what you drink.
<zero|b5> ha. so you say as you ride around in a motorized wheelchair with drool flowing down your chin thumping yourself on the chest and saying "AUUUUUU AUUUUUUUUUUUUU" with all the kids behind you shouting TARD TARD TARD
#49122 +(169)- [X]
<DAnuba> gay pride just came to my house
<DAnuba> and asked us to join their cause
<DAnuba> i told them to fuck off
<DAnuba> they called me a fag basher
<DAnuba> i'm going to a weight lifting convention tomorrow
<C-rEs> so you did talk to the gay pride guys!
#50887 +(469)- [X]
<rootd> Got my room down to about 35-40% fragmented... much better than the 70-80% earlier
<Jeian> you defragmented your room?
<Jeian> too much computer for you... :]
#55503 +(194)- [X]
<gofer-chan> ...Exo, can I still keep my channel? Or is that like impersonating you or something?
<gofer-chan> Because if you want, I'll change the name.
<Exophase> gofer; You can keep the channel :p
<Exophase> gofer; It's not impersonating me to have a channel called "#exophase", because no one is gonna walk into the channel and go "gasp, I'm sitting inside Exophase!"
#60361 +(1340)- [X]
<[zc]snuggles> my sister is 13
<[zc]snuggles> I found porn on her compueter =/
<[asm]ryan> man porn?
<[zc]snuggles> NO AND TAHTS THE THING
<[zc]snuggles> LESBO PORN
<[zc]snuggles> hell I copied it to my computer before deleting it
#62476 +(672)- [X]
<bhlaab> I want to learn sexual education via the internet! I know what to do! I'll search for "sex" in google! It will be an educational journey of science.
<bhlaab> 202,000,000 entries found! I will learn a lot!!
#63074 +(78)- [X]
<doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc
<MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james
<doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P
<MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines its not shock
<MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom matrix
<MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible
<MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass
#68637 +(161)- [X]
<slinky> i ordered a pizza
<slinky> the pizza guy came and brought the pizza, he said: "there was no address, but i figured it was for you"
<slinky> maybe i order too regularly or something
<thokky> slinky heh
<_mrT> slinky i ordered pizza on the weekend
<thokky> sounds a bit like mrT
<_mrT> and pizza service boss himself dleivered it
<_mrT> and started smalltalk..
<_mrT> "you havent ordered in quite some time.."
<_mrT> me: "i was on holidays"
<_mrT> "oh where did you go to?"
<_mrT> etc for 5mins
<_mrT> i was like WTF heh
<thokky> _mrT you are the one what makes their business profitable
<slinky> good customer relations :)
<slinky> it's probably a cover for mafia to wash money
<thokky> "hey i heard mrT moved into city, theres market for pizza delivery place"
<slinky> so now you're friends with the Family :)
<thokky> and they start to call you Nicky Foureye
<slinky> i think i definitely should not eat so much pizza
<thokky> or Fat-Tony
<thokky> hehe yea
#80753 +(3)- [X]
<Perplex> I cut my pubes to about 1/2 inch, they look neat, tidy, and inviting
#84470 +(316)- [X]
<Hackster> oh, i crack me up.
<lophyte> you crack me up too
<lophyte> *snuggles close to Hackster*
<Hackster> awww. *lick*
<lophyte> yay :D
<p1asm1c> get a dcc chat you two
#84870 +(240)- [X]
<Allison> what was that website
<Allison> with all the IRC quotes
<Allison> bang.org or somethin
#100904 +(483)- [X]
<Powerslave> haha love this ticket pushed to me from our help desk: "modem making squeeking sound when connecting, needs replaced"
#104029 +(397)- [X]
<RedVapor> hearing my dad say "Wow, Tifa's hot." is scarring
<RedVapor> You wanna know what I replied with? "No duh, dad. Funny thing is, I have a better chance witgh someone like that then you do." I was grounded for 2 weeks
<ecco> Yes, you have a better chance with VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS
<ecco> ahaha dork boy
#105296 +(55)- [X]
<evilpie> what the fuck is wtf
<cardcheat> World Trade Federation
<SteamedHams> world trade fire
<cardcheat> Women That Fuck
<SteamedHams> Wow That's Funny
<cardcheat> Well, Try Farting
<SteamedHams> What The Nigger
<cardcheat> as a respected leader in the african-american community, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from using that word
<SteamedHams> hey it'll get me on bash
#107339 +(13)- [X]
(Kixx^) Where can I download internet ?
(@Osc) Kixx^ goto http://www.irchelp.org/download for info on getting files of any kind via IRC.
#128570 +(-139)- [X]
<spaceDAISY> these american measurement standards are on crank.
<spaceDAISY> what the hell is a jigger?
<r> jewish nigger
#145554 +(527)- [X]
<Luthor> Dude, my school banned white t-shirts today :(
<Luthor> they claimed it was a gang symbol, and that it promoted violence and conflict
<Nasci> I'd rather just ban all the kids, no more violence, problem solved.
#454512 +(1991)- [X]
<@Matt> 10 things men know about women.....
<@Matt> 10. Women have tits
#608240 +(854)- [X]
cherrybomb1739: why are there hot chicks at church ?
marredduck: why is the good liquor always on the top shelf?
marredduck: the same reason
#616340 +(464)- [X]
@redhook: I'm surprised california doesnt require large neon writing on handguns that say "WARNING: Bullet Comes Out Here ->>>" pointing at the barrel
#635032 +(1952)- [X]
ZA|Drinking|: I remember in high school, during somebody made an off hand remark about wondering why they sacrificed virgins
ZA|Drinking|: And I was all like, they sure as hell ain't going to give up the ones that put out
ZA|Drinking|: And then I got detention
#647290 +(1873)- [X]
lemonlimeskull: You know you've been chatting too long when you think C:/> is some kind of depressed Arab smiley.
#658961 +(952)- [X]
milnarmo: damn i'm never gonna get a fishing license
milnarmo: lucky i already have my phishing license
milnarmo: please enter your credit card number and expiration date to continue this conversation
#754399 +(-909)- [X]
<mayb> procrastination is like masturbation
<mayb> it's fun until you realize you just fucked yourself