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#307 +(422)- [X]

<NtG> I have my gynecologist on speed dial

#2523 +(955)- [X]

<berzerk0r> i wrote a rap about my ex girlfriend ready:
<berzerk0r> You're a cunt.
<merkaba> thats pretty good berz
<berzerk0r> i like it
<MadHatter> it doesn't even rhyme

#3809 +(336)- [X]

<Scofco> whenever I get a hardon
<Scofco> I pass out
<Scofco> well, I actually faint
<Scofco> because the idea of getting laid shocks me

#5303 +(420)- [X]

<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"

#5895 +(128)- [X]

<ackbar> marriage is like buying a car. Its better to lease them and get a new one next year

#7384 +(147)- [X]

<Malicious> This NEC machine they're advertising... a 300 mhz P2 with 32 megs SDRAM and a 4.3 gig IDE harddrive
<Kythorn> thats like the same as a ferrari with no seats and a v2
<Malicious> Kyth: One that has a tendancy to overheat, mind you *P

#7774 +(194)- [X]

<chaowork> dont singe the wenis
<faustwork> yeah, nude bacon cooking is tricky
<chaowork> i hear thats gonna be in the next olympics
<faustwork> you should see how i flip it over

#8255 +(321)- [X]

<shagman> k, keep words like cock and fuck out of here
* Runnigan fucks shagman with his cock

#10916 +(298)- [X]

<Random> Lesbionic? What's that? The six-million-dollar gay woman?

#11658 +(101)- [X]

<gigatron> fett
<gigatron> anyone
<gigatron> did u get jk2 yet
<Hydrac7> I'm trying now
<Hydrac7> on eDonkey but it's slow as hell
<Hydrac7> expect me to code it faster than it will download

#11918 +(46)- [X]

<neritz> you're not canadian are you?
<Oozeman> =o
* Oozeman stops mid-sip
<perfekt> no, sadly, i'm a nebraskan ;(
<Oozeman> whew

#13440 +(39)- [X]

<[TpL]Luke> Really? the nurse who did me was so fat, ugly and sweaty, she was cooking burgers under her armpits for lunch
<[TpL]Luke> u should have seen her cooking hot dogs!

#13916 +(337)- [X]

*** tate|work is now known as tate
<chaoticset_Perling> Hey tate
<tate> yo, chaotic
<tate> I just did two of the dumbest things possible
<chaoticset_Perling> ...first?
<tate> the first was staying up all night as part of a plan to attempt to reset my internal clock
<chaoticset_Perling> ...and the second?
<tate> the second was laying down in bed two hours before work thinking I could catch just one hour of sleep
<chaoticset_Perling> LOL!

#15360 +(464)- [X]

<FunG> i dunno how anyone thats smart could put up with your opinionated and pretentious ass. if i were locked in a room with you for 10 minutes id stab myself in the face. id have to before your personality oozed all over me and make me second in command of the idiot ship.

#15470 +(354)- [X]

<Milphey> everytime i think pyee can't get any gayer he opens his mouth and manage to put another cock in it

#16529 +(1050)- [X]

<t_h_e_o-> why do u use a period at the end of every sentence?
<dager> ROFL
<dager> BECAUSE
<dager> ITS A FUCKING SENTENCE

#17419 +(53)- [X]

<RoXyaNGeL> any guy who is skinnier than his gf or has bigger boobs than her is wrong -_-

#18754 +(1221)- [X]

<Tac0> FiZi
<Tac0> are u connected to the internet?
<FiZi2> What the fuck do you think

#21147 +(36)- [X]

<soimafrea> missing a that i think blood
<BloodNose> ?
<soimafrea> you dont know THAT much about me to tell
<blender> what blood said works fine
<soimafrea> i know but the grahmmer was appouling .
<blender> bahaha

#22228 +(596)- [X]

<Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..

#23445 +(177)- [X]

<DSCS_SoCalKicks> click the live365 link
<DSCS_SoCalKicks> ont he bottom it says also try and gives links to more stations
<Niq> I'm not into "clicking links".  It's a gateway drug.

#42648 +(153)- [X]

<SeXaH> damn i broke my g-string
<SeXaH> oh hrmz
<SeXaH> that looks bad
<SeXaH> i ment the g-string from my guitar

#48611 +(199)- [X]

<Igatona> Seriously, the biblical club at my school only plays minesweeper and never do anything else
<+MegamanX2K> do they think the mines represent sin and your pointer is jesus

#48884 +(197)- [X]

(DownKaos): W0lfy's idea of taking a girl out is fucking her then deflating her
(W0lfy): u following me?

#49053 +(327)- [X]

Magical^^:  man i can think of a thosuand ways to get laid, and none of them aint working tonight
moses1:  well since all the ideas involve you , im not suprised

#49293 +(210)- [X]

MetalMantisX: ozzy's daughter obviously got none of her fathers talent
KennyGetsum: both of the kids look like the mom.. ud never guess they were even related to Ozzy
MetalMantisX: his other daughter looks like him though
MetalMantisX: the smart one, thats not on the show
KennyGetsum: ya cause she was concieved while ozzys blood alcohol content was under 20%

#49851 +(701)- [X]

<MegaPucko> whats the street outside liverpool street station called?
<MegaPucko> the big one =\
<MegaPucko> wait
<MegaPucko> nm
<MegaPucko> im dumb
<Goatman> No shit.

#50735 +(309)- [X]

<sleeper> I wonder if it would be illegal to take scans of a magazine from 1960 and sell them
<sleeper> I figure it must be....but is it?
<Sku> has to be older then that to be legal fer sure
<sleeper> you're sure that isn't public domain by now?
<ZeroHour> no sleeper, PlayBoy is still in business
<ZeroHour> lol
<sleeper> how'd you know it was playboy?

#55503 +(195)- [X]

<gofer-chan> ...Exo, can I still keep my channel? Or is that like impersonating you or something?
<gofer-chan> Because if you want, I'll change the name.
<Exophase> gofer; You can keep the channel :p
<gofer-chan> Yay!
<Exophase> gofer; It's not impersonating me to have a channel called "#exophase", because no one is gonna walk into the channel and go "gasp, I'm sitting inside Exophase!"

#74669 +(-2)- [X]

<[ryan]WIN> i should go up to like
<[ryan]WIN> the special ed class
<[ryan]WIN> and find one of those hot retards
<[ryan]WIN> cuz involuntary drooling makes for good oral

#89401 +(150)- [X]

<Toxygene> wow... i feel like shit
<Toxygene> I think I finally caught the flu going around my office
<Toxygene> nothing quite like a small toilet, an erection and explosive diahria

#98113 +(126)- [X]

<kw> I associate Chanel 5 with old women, my grandma used to wear it
<kw> (so, needless to say.. I find it quite erotic)

#105735 +(109)- [X]

<mironixima> hello
<mironixima> any redhat 9 users in here?
<SKaReCRoW> let's hope not

#108714 +(186)- [X]

Jpfan01 :if guys didn't have orgasms sometimes like women did
Wolf3055 :that would suck
Jpfan01 :we'd be killing entire city blocks
Jpfan01 :and rioting

#124219 +(319)- [X]

DDR Takumi: Search for 'Social Life' returned 0 results.
DDR Takumi: bah, what now

#137437 +(1600)- [X]

<@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me. I opened the door and...
<@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend, fucking his brains out.
<@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits". My second thought was, "Wow, so does he",

#138597 +(223)- [X]

«@ Darth_Angelus» thats what happens when you play avp2 too much
« TheMaskedMan » You get hairy palms and go blind
<JonR> no tmm
<JonR> thats masturbation
« TheMaskedMan » oh
« TheMaskedMan » I confuse the two

#181913 +(108)- [X]

<Milo> the karma chameleon is gonna come by one day, give you a fatal illness, and then piss in your mouth

#189149 +(264)- [X]

<Ironballs> State media have said the orgy at a five-star hotel in the coastal city of Zhuhai in Guangdong province in September involved about 400 Japanese tourists and 500 Chinese prostitutes.
<Ironballs> talk about improving internation relations

#238915 +(469)- [X]

<nimja> so I am afraid I might have scared some people in my photo iii class tonight
<nimja> this fucking housefly landed on my notes in the middle of a lecture on split-filter printing techniques
<nimja> and so I used my ultimate nimja powers to kill it with my bare hand
<nimja> LIGHTNING FAST.
<nimja> (it seriously was impressive)
<nimja> but then I stabbed said housefly three (or maybe ten) times with my ballpopint pen while yelling "DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!!!"
<nimja> *class went silent*
<nimja> I said: "Sorry, it just seems like it was the thing to do right then."
<nimja> prof didn't miss a beat, pretended to wipe bug guts off his tie, and then proceeded to discuss the use of filters 1/4 vs 0/5

#247790 +(1039)- [X]

<Cold_Fyre> back. I had to talk to my sister about sumtin
<fReAkEr> is she hot?
<Cold_Fyre> She's 8...
<Cold_Fyre> O.o
<fReAkEr> I didnt ask her age...

#263967 +(1848)- [X]

<mcsim02> you know...one day the word pron is actually going to replace the word porn for good...and then in the year 2055 some internet geek is gonna think hes really funny by calling it 'porn' instead of 'pron'...and it will be a horrible horrible cycle

#308143 +(359)- [X]

Retrace: so what is she?
Retrace: a .073 or a 10.0000000001
cryptic: shes like an 8
Retrace: whoa
Retrace: wait....a internet 8 or a real world 8?

#352059 +(768)- [X]

<Inversation> hahaha
<Inversation> on the price is right:
<Inversation> "our next prize is: A Super Sucker!" -woman walks out from behind curtain-
<Inversation> -vacuum cleaner emerges a few seconds later-

#449314 +(1390)- [X]

<knobboy> I hate physics
<knobboy> Having to learn all this crap about wave and frequency is killing me
<knobboy> Some might even say it Mhz

#639861 +(2167)- [X]

<Frankstar> I am so fucking pissed. This one guy sold me his air guitar on ebay for 70 dollars and I still havent fucking received shit.

#696919 +(711)- [X]

<W-ll-am> well its nearly working
<BoltBait> You are aware, code that ALMOST works looks NOTHING like the code that ACTUALLY works.
<W-ll-am> dont tell me that, its due tomorrow

#733088 +(2151)- [X]

<chilomen> *Now Playing: bathtub_lesbians.avi*
<zeddevil2> rofl dude i didnt need to know that
<chilomen> oh shit
<chilomen> lol :S ill change it
<chilomen> *Now Playing: nsync_tearin_up_my_heart.mp3*
<zeddevil2> ...
<zeddevil2> go back to the lesbians

#749816 +(589)- [X]

FeNdErBeNdEr04: how does one go about achieving a relationship with someone who thinks one is confused as m'kay about what one wants, but one knows she truly isn't confused, it's just that someone who's very confusing at times.
SkaRules: i can see how one would find you confusing

#809181 +(1316)- [X]

xxx : My grandpa knew exactly the day he gonna die :/
yyy : wtf... its impossible. Was it a magician who told him that ?
xxx : Lol :) no, it was judge

0.1477 21085 quotes approved; 469 quotes pending
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