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#191 +(379)- [X]

<brah-ca> i get all the chix.. just tell em im an efnet oper

#428 +(722)- [X]

<VicViper> NerdSex #73: Make sure you select the option "Always on Top"

#1035 +(421)- [X]

<lux0r> don't make me /molest you

#2093 +(294)- [X]

<dr_tril> i wanna be bruce lee
<aNuBiS-> i wanna fuck his tight chinese ass
<ChewToy> ok that's a visual i didn't need anubis
<ChewToy> what is it with you and homosexuals this morning?
<dr_tril> or what is it with him and homosexuals every morning

#2485 +(66)- [X]

<Luco13> If we lose Napster...I will lose my mp3's??"

#3838 +(602)- [X]

<NeonId> general- Internet talk isn't even worth of being called a dialect.  It's a mutilation of language, and we are the people who have to compensate for it's brazen idiocy.
<Potato> I'd even say it bites.
<JDigital> lol kthx

#5465 +(191)- [X]

moose> my resume is SOILD, but I can't get clueless head hunters to even fucking return a call
<moose> "do you have a ccna?"
<moose> "we need somone who knows PGB in internet lans"
<moose> sigh

#5660 +(373)- [X]

<Sys> I hate maths.  What do you reckon they'll do if I fail it?
<0ut_Lore> you repeat it.  fail it AGAIN, and you face the exclusion board.  guess what they do?  ;P
<Sys> Exclude you from having to do it a third time? :D

#6239 +(213)- [X]

<BBKSleep> I got busy on thursday, it reminded me of why I don't get busy.

#6483 +(382)- [X]

<dj_ak> i just popped a zit on my shoulder
<dj_ak> and it hit me in the eye
<dj_ak> then i licked my eye
<splifs> women must love you

#7476 +(950)- [X]

* rax humps Arwen`
<Arwen`> rax: down boy!
* rax humps lower

#8705 +(267)- [X]

<Jon-> doing some C coding ;)
<Anselmo> pfft
<Anselmo> Learn a real language
<Anselmo> Like Amiga Basic

#10691 +(611)- [X]

<Zorix> this room... heh.. its so immature
<ichibod> fuck off dicklicker
<Zorix> bite me fucktard

#10915 +(553)- [X]

<McEi8th> God damn it
<McEi8th> I walked in on my mom last night sucking off my dad and I saw his dong
<McEi8th> It was pretty sick
<Pozzi> Dude that wasn't your dad...
* Pozzi runs

#14228 +(39)- [X]

<Compn> i have an acoustic guitar or whatever the non electic ones are called

#21847 +(1175)- [X]

<Pat_The_Bunny> my dad is such a pimp
<Spacechimp> ROFL  what?
<Pat_The_Bunny> back in the day....he had these red satin sheets that are currently on my bed
<Spacechimp> um
<Pat_The_Bunny> so he walks into the room...
<Pat_The_Bunny> and pats the sheets
<Spacechimp> lol
<Pat_The_Bunny> and says, "you should see how good these sheets look with two blondes between them"
<Pat_The_Bunny> i cant sleep now

#22160 +(425)- [X]

<jiy> every time i join a suicide channel on dalnet i get banned and accused of being a troll
<jiy> today, when the fuckers were discussing cutting, i said "tell me how to cut myself"
<@skold> you dont know how to cut yourself?
<@skold> how the fuck can you screw that up?
<@skold> no wonder you want to kill yourself

#34316 +(1291)- [X]

[n] Join [sam]-[sam@sam.name] has joined #0secadmin
<m0zzie> uhh sam, who are you and who gave you the key?
<sam> i am sam and i didnt need a key :-)
<m0zzie> hmm.. this is a private channel, please fuck off. :)
[n] Mode [m0zzie]-[+b *!*sam@sam.name]
<lynx> m0z, meet sam, the server admin :/
<m0zzie> oh fuck.
[n] Mode [m0zzie]-[-b *!*sam@sam.name]
<m0zzie> me love you long time? :>

#34669 +(182)- [X]

[BiC]: i got a jobb! woohoo!
[x-im]: sw33t dude :) what kinda job?
[BiC]: warehouse-thingie-kinda job... :P
[Nemesis]: my job is living, and the payment is the job itself ;]
[x-im]: your getting rippedoff pal, go talk to the union.

#43741 +(656)- [X]

<snowzone> well that's weird. i just got memory access violations from a windows program and it DIDN'T crash...
<Olafsson> it violated another program but the other program must have liked it..

#49845 +(88)- [X]

(SectionX): well i would never power up a xbox
(^Tony_Soprano^): thats cause ur a dumb fuck
(^Tony_Soprano^): probibally drain all the power in your trailer

#49912 +(185)- [X]

<Intranete> but i never got into just sitting around and programming, i was more into sitting around and playing with my hardware

#57148 +(651)- [X]

<AriaStargazer> the other day
<AriaStargazer> in the car
<AriaStargazer> i was in traffic
<AriaStargazer> and i thought to myself
<AriaStargazer> "jesus this lag sucks"
<AriaStargazer> and then i looked around
<AriaStargazer> and i was like
<AriaStargazer> ..............

#62749 +(277)- [X]

<MishimaYukio> Ya know, there's a thing called a "blooper", which is where you get a blowjob while you're taking a shit.
<fluffy> ....
<Massive_Potato> ...what the hell
<MishimaYukio>  Well, I mention it because, well, if God didn't want us to be burdened by erections on the pot, he wouldn't have invented bloopers.
<fluffy> thats the most disgusting thing ive heard in years
<DoctorRiff> i will never feel the same way about the "tv's funniest bloopers" show, you've ruined my life MishimaYukio

#70473 +(332)- [X]

<jay> when i get married im gonna buy my wife a BMW 318, because they are really safe and yet sluggish enough for her not to cause any trouble
<adam> yeah? when i get married, im gonna take out a big life insurance policy on my wife and buy her a Hyundai Excel

#82158 +(175)- [X]

[03:59] <[ref|ex]> wheres everyone else its only 4am  ?

#82176 +(796)- [X]

<Tac0> theyre fucking with you, the real way to get to it is /quit im a fag
* Quits: Boo_urns (Quit: Tac0's a fag)

#83310 +(730)- [X]

(dariball_) n8 all
(jason-) i think it means night.
(jason-) but i'm not leet enough like that.
(Xentac) hehehe
(Xentac) but night ends in ite... and 8 ends in ate...
(Xentac) so he's saying nate
(jason-) i can understand like "i 8 your chicken because it looked at my prost8."
(jason-) that makes more sense
(jason-) well kinda.

#99806 +(301)- [X]

<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it, but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves

#102187 +(255)- [X]

<H3g3m0n> Wow according to the starwars website Star Wars Episode III is going to be called "In production"

#104531 +(771)- [X]

<Flirbnic> Stop it, I'm very sensitive about that. :(

#105598 +(39)- [X]

<TheMeandMe> did you know Free Willy is manipulating?
<TheMeandMe> the movie
<amorph> is this a joke?
<TheMeandMe> its been made by the us government to turn the people into slaves
<TheMeandMe> think about the title
<TheMeandMe> "free will, y?"

#107396 +(383)- [X]

<@Dock> Water freezes faster the higher you are, I believe.
<@phrozen> nice
<@phrozen> next time i'll use the fridge upstairs

#111791 +(8)- [X]

<mibi> my sheets are so come stained and crusty its like sleeping on a crumpled origami blanket

#114724 +(1172)- [X]

* +ramoth4 slaps politik with an unsigned long double
* +politik comes back with a _uint64 uppercut
* +ramoth4 pulls out a struct and returns fire
* +politik corrupts ramoth's heap
* +Fire_Elemental-Coding- ducks to avoid leaked memory
* +politik pops Fire_Elemental-Coding- square in the stack
* +ramoth4 stuffs politik's face in the bitbucket, and begins to operate on nil pointers
* +politik throws uncatchable exceptions around the room
* +ramoth4 dodges skillfully with his try-catch block
* +politik cuts off ramoth's private member
* +ramoth4 encapsulates the wound in a protected class
* +politik destroys all foes with up-casts to inappropriate derived classes!
* +politik is out of ideas
* +politik :: ~politik();
* +ramoth4 declares flipcode his namespace!
<+ramoth4> I win!
* +ramoth4 beat C++.
<+ramoth4> The last guy was hard.

#138210 +(236)- [X]

A little overexcited about Silent Hill:

<Aremis> Who can take a fire sireeennnnn.... and make a symbol of fear and dread? Who can take a sweet town and fill it with the undead? Konami cannnnn... The Konami Corp. cannnnnn.....
<Aremis> The Konami Corp. can take a simple hospital and make it a hell of rust and bloooooddddddd......
<Aremis> Who can take a happy dayyyyyy.... and shove it full of fog and snow? Who can make monsters that die with one blow? Konami cannnnnn.... the Konami corp. cannnnnn....
<Aremis> The Konami Corp. can because people are addicted to fear and they have stockholders in North koreaaaaa.....

#155520 +(425)- [X]

<bonch> You should write some Full House fan fiction
<Nastard> "...but little did Uncle Jesse expect to find Joey standing alone in his room, surrounded by candles, pleasuring himself.  He stood aghast for a moment, watching the tears stream from Joey's closed eyes.  The soft music started to get to him, and he found his hand rubbing against the crotch of his pants, bringing 'little Elvis' alive for a rousing crescendo of his own..."

#196258 +(1438)- [X]

<MakoClause> shit
<MakoClause> i am so dead
<MakoClause> there is this huge dent in our christmas ham
<MakoClause> where i decided to liberate some of it for a sandwhich
<MakoClause> but i liberated too much
<Zappy-Holidays> dude
<Zappy-Holidays> ham raeper
<Zappy-Holidays> where are your morals
<Zappy-Holidays> I know why you really carved out a little bit
<Zappy-Holidays> *nudge* *nudge*
<Zappy-Holidays> *wink* *wink*
<MakoClause> dude
<MakoClause> i didn't fuck the ham
<Zappy-Holidays> U FUCKED THE HAM
<Zappy-Holidays> HAM FUCKER

#238448 +(395)- [X]

<@iretd> Problem with bash is: after reading it for like half an hour, you go back to irc and you don't understand the jokes ppl make, like "where's the punch line" and then you realize there's no joke, it's just back to boring old IRC
<@dalias> actually i have that problem on bash
<@dalias> i read a quote and i'm like "where's the punch line?"

#242746 +(656)- [X]

<Petter>It's a bug
<X-Winger2>I refuse to believe XP has any bugs ;P
<X-Winger2>Except it won't let me see my hard drive right now

#252655 +(439)- [X]

Lah Deez Mahn: sweet
Lah Deez Mahn: outlook 2004
Lah Deez Mahn: now handles
Lah Deez Mahn: all my email accounts
Lah Deez Mahn: from  *everywhere*
Lah Deez Mahn: hotmail, adelphia, yahoo, b4k3r.com
Lah Deez Mahn: ahh, i like it
afmomania: now all you need is someone to email you

#347268 +(2035)- [X]

<leecher> er...
<cow_hax0r> Sorry back
<leecher> what's the problem, house on fire?
<cow_hax0r> No I had to get a drink
<leecher> so why the urgency?
<cow_hax0r> Well... I REALLY had to get a drink
<leecher> so your house wasn't on fire or being attacked by ninja's?
<cow_hax0r> Well.. no, but my throat was kinda dry

#351195 +(861)- [X]

<squire> can anyone here help me, i just dled a movie and i dunno what to do
<kokoro> have you tried...watching it?

#459877 +(1387)- [X]

Euriusx_xNocturnus: Think of someone of "average" intelligence. Then think half the world is dumber than that.
Veronica5050: ow
Veronica5050: just ow
Veronica5050: owowowowowowowowow

#467640 +(823)- [X]

<MickXII> Spider-man creator Stan Lee awarded 10 percent of profits from movies. With 10 percent profit, there must come 10 percent responsibility

#528007 +(1520)- [X]

<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV

#665000 +(930)- [X]

<neotiger> jesus damn I'm bored
<neotiger> nothing to do all day but sit on IRC or play games
<neotiger> woo.
<^Migs^> are you at work or something?

#742547 +(1204)- [X]

<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay

#758669 +(245)- [X]

<sharquedo> I'm a zombie, braiiinnnssssss
<DemonHeart> I'm homeless, chaaannnggeeeee

#948269 +(424)- [X]

<jeemer> you know, come to think of it i already have a 5 gallon aquarium
<jeemer> hundreds of billions of pets
<jeemer> i feed them malt and they shit out alcohol
<jeemer> its a pretty good system actually

0.1528 21065 quotes approved; 627 quotes pending
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