Save yourself the wasted 20 minutes I spent debugging the issue!
I’ve been writing things in PHP for the past 8 weeks that it isn’t really meant for or to do. To whit:
- daemonised processes;
- shared memory based methods and usage (mainly around SysV semaphores and segments);
- cron extensions and handlers;
- network connections via SNMP and SNPP; and
- lots of file system methods (globbing, file management and organisation),