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#1651 +(593)- [X]

(tinkrbell) my dog humps my other guy dog.. instead of my girl dog.. at least he's comfortable with himself and realized it at an early age

#1834 +(832)- [X]

[09:50] <Xerox> Hey, anyone who knows Japanese, what does "kikurimu" mean?
[09:52] <Squizzle> "I am a preteen with bouncing breasts."
[09:53] <Zonkto> There are probably three or four words for that.
[09:53] <Zonkto> Sort of like the Eskimos having so many words for snow.

#1863 +(160)- [X]

(nexxai) I think I'm gonna start a Fingernail Crud collection
(nexxai) some people have Celebrity Hair collections
(nexxai) mine will be fingernail crud
(nexxai) not of celebrities though...they might scratch their ass alot or something

#2053 +(371)- [X]

<Gwar> u might as well be holding your penis if you're using a joystick in quake

#3322 +(225)- [X]

*** Now talking in #coffee
<DigDug> COFFEEEEEEEE
<DigDug> YAYAYAYYAYA
<DigDug> CAFFEINE
<DigDug> WOOT!!!!!!
<DigDug> LELELELELELEEELELEE
<DigDug> ^_^

#3509 +(273)- [X]

<Rasputin> Episode 1 rocked!!!!!
<Rasputin> Let me rephrase.
<Rasputin> The trailer for Episode 1 ROCKED!!!!

#6259 +(228)- [X]

<KaMeN> I just realized the only reason I would go to narcotics anonymous would be to get hookups for drugs

#7079 +(299)- [X]

<DocWebstr> Okay... a couple of things before I very literally go pass out....
<Mycroft> If it's about Soylent Green, we already know. :)

#10926 +(219)- [X]

<Macca_> hi all 
<Macca_>  can anyone help me with uninstalling WindowsME, it hasn't been as 
          easy as i thought it might be

#11160 +(-26)- [X]

<EazyCheez> I wonder if I can't unplug my 3 1/2"'s interface cable and use that with my old CD-ROM (Samsung)
<RvLeshrac> EazyCheez: No
<pupkick> samsung is radio shack for people with mental handicaps
<EazyCheez> RvLeshrac: I can't unplug my floppy disk drive's interface cable and put it into my CD-ROM?
<thrash-> EazyCheez: Try it... it won't fit.
<feerit> EazyCheez: notice they arent the same pinout

#14301 +(295)- [X]

<McMoo> i need to start making a list of crap i need to buy for my new place
<timmo> 1) food
<var-> 3 gallons vaseline, subscriptoin to hustler, 100 cases of ramen
<timmo> hah
<kisama> heh
<kisama> vaseline isn't even that great
<kisama> fuck that pussy shit
<kisama> you need astroglide
<kisama> and a set of japanese wack mittens
<kisama> let me link you
<kisama> http://www.jlist.com/cgi-bin/disp.cgi?img=http://images.jlist.com/c2/jr6992.jpg&x=573&y=500
<kisama> One of the tools used by soap girls is a rubber "magical mitten" which works with soap as lubricant for a great feel. This is a super soft rubber sheet that is held in the hand and used to clean anything you might want to clean.
<var-> haha
<timmo> you scare me snow
<kisama> just trying to ensure a soapland experience in the privacy of your own home.

#15647 +(442)- [X]

<CaMR0N> why does everyone call me cumron?
<drunkers> probably and honest mistake
<CaMR0N> but everyone?
<drunkers> did you tell them you were gay?
<CaMR0N> yes cause im honest with everyone
<drunkers> maybe its not an honest mistake

#16144 +(1378)- [X]

<GimpMaster> why the hell i'm i on ignore :o
<Vxie> and i wont till he apoligizes for his actions...
<SovanJedi> How can he apologise if you can't even hear him? ;)
<GimpMaster> hah
<Vxie> i dunno
<GimpMaster> ask him what i did :o
<Vxie> thats what im trying to figure out...
<SovanJedi> Gimp is asking 'what did I do?'
<Vxie> i asked him to stop cussing infront of my lil sis and he didnt stop
<GimpMaster> is that it? fuck the sand monkey. i don't care
<SovanJedi> Gimp says 'I'm very sorry for my actions, and he won't do it again.'
<Vxie> ok
<GimpMaster> LOL

#16994 +(272)- [X]

<Spankle> What the fuck is a furniture cover?
<Al> Spankle: a sheet you put over chairs and shit to stop dust or dirt getting on them
<Al> like a foreskin for your sofa.
<Jre-La> And retracts when guests come by

#22228 +(582)- [X]

<Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..

#26208 +(100)- [X]

<kuro> dork? whale penis?
<timmo> we have some in the fridge

#26767 +(167)- [X]

<Comedy> Now now, we all like our anal virginity.
<timbo`> mine was violated with my first poo

#31327 +(699)- [X]

<Entil-Zha> ::creams like a girl::
<NeoPartix> lmao
<Entil-Zha> *screams
<Entil-Zha> fuck you

#38503 +(535)- [X]

<27946889> hola.
<Losifer> Do I know you?
<27946889> No, I found you on random chat.
<27946889> What, just because you don't know someone you won't talk to them?
<Losifer> Pretty much.  This is my work account.  I conduct business through this account.  I don't have time to chat.
<27946889> Sorry.
<27946889> i think you're very rude
<Losifer> That's interesting.  I find it more rude to continue to send unsolicited messages to a stranger once you've been told that the stranger in question isn't interested in talking to you.
<27946889> why are you in such a bad mood, you are so young, sorry that i thought it would be nice to talk to you because i saw your info and i found you interesting,,,
<Losifer> I'm in a bad mood because I'm working and you keep interrupting me.  Please go away.
<27946889> so where do you work?
<27946889> let me ask you something, how come it says satan ate your ears in your info?

#48311 +(272)- [X]

<N3xtAxchunz3r0> y'ever had to take a shit, but were already listening to music and playing gameboy so you went in the bathroom with your headphones and gameboy, took a shit, and didn't come out for 2 hours cuz you still needed to catch a friggin pikachu?
<N3xtAxchunz3r0> I have..

#48771 +(-102)- [X]

* Pelayo BGM: !! (illegal) Cute 12 Year Old Being Taught By Daddy -- Fisting Incest Child Teen Preteen Lolita Young Gay Porn Beast Peep Mpeg Mpg Jpeg Jpg Mp3 Avi (6)(2).mpg

#48994 +(204)- [X]

<Daimyou> SUPERMARKET!
* Daimyou starts rapping
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> YOU HAVE TEH CHEESE AND TEH VEGGIEZ
<Daimyou> AND TEH TROUTTTTT
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> YAYAY I RIDE AROUND IN TEH SHOOPPPPPING KAAAARTS
<Daimyou> AND THEN I GO THROUGH THE TAAAAAAYKEOUT
<Daimyou> I MEAN CASHIER
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> BUT THEN I DON'T HAVE TEH MONEYZZZZ
<Daimyou> SO MY MOM PAAAAAYS FORRRRRR ITTTTT
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> THE ENDZ0RZ

#49322 +(72)- [X]

<Lestat> I should invent a way to make porn into music.
<Matrix_McCloud> yes
<Lestat> So you could be rocking out and looking at porn at the same time.
<Matrix_McCloud> oh
<Lestat> By like, rocking out to porn.

#51226 +(178)- [X]

* Kristoph is a 16 year old trance / hard house DJ from sheffield, anyone wanna pretend to be a girl and talk about masturbation?

#57535 +(531)- [X]

<Al> arabs can't spell so we have to spell for them
<Al> that's why it's "Koran"
<Kurt> short for Korean
<Lloyddy> i thought ^_^ was short for korean
<jre> No, kek is
<Alien> huk of the ke
<Lloyddy> so is keke short for a jolly korean?
<jre> A kek is one unit of kekeke
<jre> THis throws people because of the extra letter
<Alien> keks bind together via k-ration-synthesis, where each unit sheds one k to form a long chain of kekekeks
<Kurt> FREAKIN NERD
<Alien> They're what we in the business call kekides
*Kurt spanks Alien with moon rocks
<jre> The extra Ks then bind to form the atmosphere of the Zerg homeworld
<jre> Koreans are to the Zerg homeworld what trees are to Earth
<jre> Coincidentally enough, when Zergs respirate, they take in Ks and breathe out chop suey
<Alien> When the polykekide chain is broken the free ks are broken to be used for klysis, rendering the Zerg atmosphere a vacuum.
<jre> LIAR

#58723 +(335)- [X]

<Lazy_Robot> Sometimes they dont label the gay porn gay on kazaa....
<Lazy_Robot> I wonderd why the guys were fucking
<Lazy_Robot> thought some ladies were coming....
<Lazy_Robot> took awhile b4 I realised.

#69906 +(223)- [X]

* PokeSmot pokes everyone to sleep
<+JohnTaSays> ur nick somehow makes me keep thinkin of smoke pot
<@Pyroman> ...

#76458 +(302)- [X]

<jotun> i saw this cute little asian girl on tv last night. i said to my friend, "she's hot." turned out to be a young boy, dressed as a girl. i shall never hear the end
<jona> !!
<cows> haha.
<jona> Ha ha.
<jotun> :<

#77379 +(182)- [X]

<MB13534> does tne @ symbol next to the name mean idle?

#79784 +(160)- [X]

< +Jen > I dont want to visit shitcity.com because my parents are around, tell me more about it
< Ad_Libitum > girls eating shit.... literally
< Ad_Libitum > thats all u have to know
< +x_quest > and you get bestiality pop ups
< +Jen > Cool, free?
< +big_mac > yeah
< +Jen > I mean I have videos of that stuff ^_^
< Ad_Libitum > ........
< +big_mac > oh god
< +Dyne_Zears > .........
< ravix > you are seriously disturbed
< +Jen > I like to call it "open minded"

#81863 +(359)- [X]

<HamsterFuzz> damn it!
<HamsterFuzz> i can't register for classes online after midnight
<HamsterFuzz> now i'm screwed
<Cat1013> that sux
<HamsterFuzz> the internet is supposed to be convenient! it's not suppose to shut down at a certain time! there shouldn't be hours of operation!
<Cat1013> "you don't have to go to your homepage, but you can't stay here..."

#82115 +(502)- [X]

<|mac|> Had a job in Govt, my mind misfired, I got fired, Maryland says if you get fired from state service cant come back for 3 years
<SideShow_Mike> mac did you chainsaw kill someone at work? I thought it was damn near impossible to get fired form those jobs.
<|mac|> no sideshowmike I had a nervous breakdown and shit on my supervisors desk
<clay45> whoa

#84765 +(731)- [X]

[loucura] yummm... french fries and gravy
[Crysanna] you need cheese with that
[loucura] Yeah, but I don't feel like melting any cheese.
[loucura] That, and all I have is american cheese, I'm afraid it'll go to war with my french fries

#105834 +(305)- [X]

<Prozax> 9 cats? you must be really ugly

#109501 +(291)- [X]

<drag-n> system uptime: 16h43m40s
<drag-n> the sad thing is
<drag-n> i've been at the pc the whole time.

#125191 +(1128)- [X]

<`-X-> how i can disconnect without the usual commands? (/quit, /disconnect /exit etc )?
<`-X-> help me pls
<@Splodgey> /msg <insert name of ircop here> you suck cock

#137629 +(-269)- [X]

<evilive> I've got the crime of the century
<evilive> we'll say we're offering free chicken as a promotion, right?
<evilive> then when the niggers show up we'll shoot them and take their gold teeth.

#146656 +(1383)- [X]

<Errata> f y cn rd ths y cn gt gd jb n cmptr prgrmng

#147532 +(198)- [X]

* demo20b has joined #odoru
<timeless> stfu
* demo20b has quit IRC (Exit: if you stand at the top of a very tall building, do u eva feel like jumping off?)
<timeless> omg
<timeless> thats all i takes to get rid of him??

#153171 +(567)- [X]

<zamros> moose i am going to kick you in the groin until the only thing you have there is a bloodied mass of pulp
<Mooseka> HAHA, YOU'RE TOO LATE

#162827 +(328)- [X]

<rutabaga> I remember one tiem I was trickortreating and this guy ansered the door in assless chaps and a cowboy hat
<rutabaga> that was the scaeryist haloween evar

#174916 +(812)- [X]

<Gecko> lmao, my mates download of "master and commander" is infact "anal agency"
<EmPleh> lol
<Gecko> wait a minute
<Gecko> this isn't a real agency at all
<Gecko> they're just having sex
<Gecko> i'm suprised this lot ever get any work done

#183584 +(407)- [X]

<Kublah> stealing from drug dealers is like takin candy from a well armed baby

#393554 +(1761)- [X]

<watashi-wa>necrophilia is dead boring
<chersucks> wtf?!?
<watashi-wa>try incest instead
<watashi-wa>it's only relatively boring :p

#439938 +(115)- [X]

<mad_> arafat's wife reminds me of miss piggy
<Cartossn> she's THAT hot?
<mad_> ok, a fat miss piggy

#524062 +(2627)- [X]

3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school?
3:GHB> Today is Saturday
3:pixelsoft> It's Friday
GHB left arena

#663304 +(724)- [X]

<greggk> will somebody please tell me why, in our self-proclaimed conservative society, do homophobic parents teach their children "rub a dub dub, three /men/ in a tub"?
<greggk> not only does it endorse homosexuality and promiscuity, but it also implants children with the false stereotype that all butchers and bakers are sodomites.
<joshmunki> what about the candlestick makers?
<greggk> actually, the rhyme is right about them. they're all assdildo fags.

#715026 +(485)- [X]

<Apoc|Sharger> how do you masturbate when a blind man is watching you?
<Apoc|Sharger> quietly.

#789672 +(2494)- [X]

grosslack: Hell is a place of everlasting damnation and fire.
locokamil: Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.

#866224 +(2242)- [X]

[dcg] I love how someone links a picture of a woman with a penis and it turns into a discussion about monitor resolution

0.1648 21035 quotes approved; 7 quotes pending
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